In Improving your public and conversation speaking, I talked about both reading your Scripture out loud and praying out loud. Here are some other alternatives to do with yourself if you’re not comfortable talking with people about them yet.
For example, write down your testimony that you would share with non-Christians about how you became a Christian and how God is working in your life. I would aim for about 2-5 minutes since no one likes being kept by long speeches. Once you have your testimony on paper you can start. I would progress in a couple of different manners:
- Read your testimony out loud.
- Once you improve on that, then only write down a couple main points of the testimony and then practice speaking it out loud while glancing at those points.
- Once you improve on that, then only write some key words or phrases and practice reciting it out loud
- Finally, be able to recite your testmony out loud with recall only.
If you’re like me and public and conversational speaking are tough, a step by step process like this will help you get in the habit of elaborating on thoughts and key phrases that pop into your head. This is the basis of public and conversation speaking because it’s unlikely that you will be able to form whole sentences or thoughts in your head as you are talking to other people.
Do it with the characteristics that I stated in the previous post:
- Stand up straight or sit up straight with chest out and shoulders back.
- Take a deep breath before you speak each sentence or set of words.
- Speak in a measured tone — not too fast, not too slow.
- Speak it with authority.
However, if you want to work on more conversational ability you can add these additional points:
- Look in the mirror and make eye contact with yourself while you talk. While it’s not the same as looking into another person’s eyes it’s a relatively good approximation to practice on.
- Likewise, along with the diction, posture, and breathing make sure that you also eliminating any fidgeting or small movements or anything that can distract your talking.
- Even talking with yourself or others know that it’s OK to be anxious. If you feel yourself tightening up then take another deep breath or two and smile and just say that you’re a bit nervous. Being able to say this to people lets them know that you’re human and will usually get a smile out of them because they understand.
There’s also another list of topics that I like to talk about out loud that are in the Bible, and those are conversational topics that are uncomfortable. For instance,
- Sex in marriage versus out of marriage
- The value of chastity
- Leaderships and submission
- If women should be able to vote
- And other volatile topics such as these.
Another technique is to debate with yourself and voice the varying sides of each option out loud yourself. Talking about both sides will get you more familiar with them so you can adequately have a handle on how to refute them effectively without having to stumble over your words. Plus, it helps to make you think in advance of what you are going to say.
The more at ease you can get with discussing these topics out loud even by yourself the more comfortable you will be discussing them with others or women. When you’re less afraid to talk about them out loud, that’s when productive discussion can occur and it will show others that you are a godly masculine man who is willing to have opinions that align with the Word of God.
The obvious nice part about this is the side effect that learning how to speak and communicate effectively going to help improve your relationships not just with women but everyone.