Game is not a toolbox

Game is not a toolbox, but it may look like a toolbox.

In to game or not to game, I explored the inherent selfish nature of game as opposed to that of godly masculinity.

Likewise, over at Free Northerner’s Christian masculinity we’ve been talking about the merits of game versus godly masculinity.

The best way to illustrate how “game” is not a toolbox is indeed through analogies since game as a toolbox is an analogy. Here are analogies I present that should make clear that game, while looking like a toolbox and perhaps acting like a toolbox, is not a toolbox.

Even though a gun is just a gun, would you want to own the gun of someone who used it to commit mass murder? Would you want to own the gun of one of the columbine shooters? On the other hand, would you even keep a gun that you used to kill an intruder in your home who meant you deadly harm?

There’s an innate revulsion that we have to the “gun” or “tool” that is used to commit murder, even though we know the tool is not responsible for the decision of the owner. Indeed, there may even be men and women who use a “tool” such as a gun in self defense to where they would have serious issues with keeping it after they used it to successfully defend themselves and kill someone.


Would you argue that sex is sex and the only difference between fornication and sex in marriage is context?I think that’s an indefensible position. The reason why sex as an emotional, spiritual, and physical act in marriage is holy is because first the heart is right with God and we are walking into what God said was very good for His creation.

Men and women can even sense the difference. Greater marital satisfaction in husbands and wives who waited to have sex after marriage than those who had premarital sex. There’s tons of statistics and studies to support this, and the reasons for this are probably many.

Sure, we can certainly learn from things that are not in and of the Bible. But the heart must be right with God in such actions. I would certainly not attempt to use dread game on a wife as God tells me that jealosy is of the flesh. Yet, I see Christians in the ‘sphere fully supporting the use of dread game.

The biggest point that I see missing from the “game is a toolbox” proponents is how to reconcile their argument with the idea that we are are not just physical and emotional but also spiritual beings. We know from Galatians 5 that we are either doing things of the Spirit or of the flesh.

A Christian man who sets boundaries for his wife and shows leadership to have her calm down when she is emotional does so because he loves her as his own body, like Christ has loved the church and doesn’t want the drama. And he doesn’t want her to get emotional because she may sin in her hyperemotional state. He is concerned with growing both of their relationships towards God in true righteousness and holiness.

A player who sets boundaries for his girlfriend and shows leadership to have her calm down when she is emotional does so because he doesn’t want the drama only. The fact that the motivations are inherently selfish imbue the whole act to be selfish and only of the flesh. Eventually, when you have only someone that cares about themselves, it will show in their actions and lead to at least some form of resentment from the other party.

These two may look the same outwardly. They may even use the same words or mannerisms. But they are not the same because God judges both the hearts, the minds, and the actions. This is the spiritual component of our actions that is missing when we say that game is JUST a toolbox.

We know that God tests both the hearts, minds, and actions:

Jeremiah 11:20 But, O LORD of hosts, who judges righteously, Who tries the feelings and the heart, Let me see Your vengeance on them, For to You have I committed my cause.

Jeremiah 17:10 “I, the LORD, search the heart, I test the mind, Even to give to each man according to his ways, According to the results of his deeds.

1 Chronicles 29:17-19 I know, my God, that you test the heart and have pleasure in uprightness. In the uprightness of my heart I have freely offered all these things, and now I have seen your people, who are present here, offering freely and joyously to you. O Lord, the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Israel, our fathers, keep forever such purposes and thoughts in the hearts of your people, and direct their hearts toward you. Grant to Solomon my son a whole heart that he may keep your commandments, your testimonies, and your statutes, performing all, and that he may build the palace for which I have made provision.”

Psalm 7:9 Oh, let the evil of the wicked come to an end, and may you establish the righteous— you who test the minds and hearts, O righteous God!

Revelation 2:23 And all the churches will know that I am he who searches mind and heart, and I will give to each of you according to your works.

Now, this isn’t to say “game” should be totally eschewed completely as there are many of us in the manosphere who have come to a greater zeal and fervor for the Lord because He has used the evil of game for good in us.

But know then this,

  1. It is good to know to learn about what to do and what not to do from the nature of intersex relationships from the Scriptures, godly mentors, prayer, fasting, meditation on the Word, etc.
  2. It is good to know what not to do from knowledge of the nature of the flesh such as game.
  3. But I would be very, very, very careful about what learning what to do from something inherently selfish like game.

Now, God gave man logic and free will and we can use it to come to good conclusions about the nature of His creation. In this line of thought, Keoni’s assertion that the underlying concepts of game as a Praxeology is correct.

For example, in the medical field humans have come up with amazing technology to preserve and extend lives through the nature of creativity and invention of the intelligence and logic which God has blessed us with. However, increased knowledge and innovation can be easily warped such as the entrenched establishement of “low fat high carb healthy diets” and pharmaceutical companies more concerned about profits than well being of the people.

This is to say that God may allow one to learn concepts about how He created masculinity to be through game, but if we do learn from that which is of the flesh we need to be hyperaware of if we are being deceived.

This is my main problem with game.

I can see there is utility in knowledge of it because God has allowed me to learn from it without being deceived. But what of my other brothers and sisters in Christ?

What if a Christian man who has no firm foundation in God is exposed to game? He may be deceived by the inherent nature of the flesh that game purports and is further drawn away from God into a life of hedonistic principles. For every Christian that has seen the light of God’s creation, what about those that have fallen away from the faith because of game? I certainly know of many PUAs and players that were formerly Christians or Catholics.

This is precisely the reason why as Christians we should not espouse game as something that all Christians should know, at the very least until each one of those that we know has a firm foundation in Christ and seeks to please Him above all. It is only then that showing them knowledge of the flesh can be a learning experience without a temptation. You shouldn’t give a man the components to build a house without first ensuring that he has a rock solid foundation to build on.

The foundation must be a heart for God first, and extensive knowledge of the Scriptures and how they apply to life. Then, and only then, is an introduction to the knowledge of “game” may be worth considering because of its strong appeal to temptation and selfishness.


Lest we not forget that a firm foundation is required before adding on top of it a house.

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14 Responses to Game is not a toolbox

  1. Chad says:

    You and I are on the same page with this.

  2. Pingback: Good and the good and bad and the bad | Reflections on Christianity and the manosphere

  3. @ Chad

    I expected as much. =)

  4. As much as I am a involuntary celibate, I would never want to do something to a single woman, much less a sister-in-Christ just to satisfy the desires of my manhood. That is even if she consents…

    So is my heart in the right place?

    As for men who have turned their backs on the faith and delved into becoming PUAs, I believe some of them were disappointed and frustrated at how the years they spent in their respective churches did nothing in developing their Christian Masculinity. It’s a charge I lay solely on the church leadership.

    I am glad that Chad, Donal and you have been writing loads about Christian Masculinity as a “counter” to “Game”. But how will Christian women, sinners like all of us, respond? Will they respond positively? Given the feminist churchian environment we have today, I am not so sure.

  5. donalgraeme says:

    This is also my view now. I held to the Toolbox view for a long time, until I started to really familiarize myself with the major Game players out there. After a while, I realized that Game was more of a thought process than anything else. Negs and Push-Pull aren’t Game, they are merely individual response triggers that a man can use. Individually they could be considered tools, but Game is much more than the whole collection of them. Game is the mindset, the natural development of the PUA lifestyle. One that PUAs adopt over time, often without realizing it.

    A guy like Keoni Galt or Dalrock might be able to use individual components safely, if they already have a solid foundation. But if someone starts to use them without one, then over time it will warp him. The end result is a man who becomes less than fully masculine. Not to mention one whose heart is given over to the ruler of this world.

  6. @ chokingonredpills

    Well, I can’t answer your question because that is between you and God.

    All I know is that for me, I want to serve God first and if I am able to find a wife then that is great. If not, I can still serve God to the utmost of my abilities.

    Churchian leadership will certainly have to stand before the judgment throne of God to answer for their unintended or intended deceptions, but we are still responsible to be stewards of what God has given us irrespective of the lies that we are fed by Christians and non-Christians. This is why God has given us His Holy Spirit.

    To be clear, I am certainly concerned for my brothers and sisters in Christ that are led astray, but as you know if they are unwilling to listen to the Truth that is between them and God. My responsibility is only to tell them of them where they may be going wrong in kindness, goodness, and humility and then let them decide from there what they want to do.

  7. @Deep Strength

    Thanks for your response.

    Throughout my blue-pill days, I had “internalised” many of the bad teaching from the church leadership and the pulpit. How can I be judged on my responsibility as a steward (of what God has given us) when I had no idea of its existence? Why weren’t there any promptings or discernment as guided by the Holy Spirit?

  8. donalgraeme says:

    @ Choking

    To reinforce what Deep Strength said:

    51 When the days drew near for him to be received up, he set his face to go to Jerusalem. 52 And he sent messengers ahead of him, who went and entered a village of the Samaritans, to make ready for him; 53 but the people would not receive him, because his face was set toward Jerusalem. 54 And when his disciples James and John saw it, they said, “Lord, do you want us to bid fire come down from heaven and consume them?” 55 But he turned and rebuked them. 56 And they went on to another village.

    (Luke 9:51-55)

    People will choose to accept Him or they won’t. It is their choice to make. Perhaps women will turn away from Churchianity; perhaps they won’t. It is up to them, not us. For us, we must continue to follow the path as best as we can despite what everyone else does.

  9. @ chokingonredpills

    All the more reason to pray and read the Scriptures.

    I mean, helpmeet is right there in Genesis 2.

    Most men want to think of women as an equal which is not how God created us.

    I was as blind as you were, but I was also not truly seeking His kingdom first and His righteousness if that makes sense. When you have the mission most everything including women fades away and pales in comparison.

    I’m not saying this to dump responsibility on men. I don’t know how God judges the heart when we are truly deceived. But I do know the man I am today is much different than the man who I was even just last year.

  10. femininebutnotfeminist says:

    @ DS,

    The part about a man wanting a woman to calm down when being emotional because he doesn’t want her to sin is interesting to say the least. I’ve been pondering this since I read this post the day you put it up, and I don’t think I’ve never heard it from that perspective before, and I suspect few women ever have. I always thought it stopped with men not liking drama, or not knowing what to do when a woman is emotional. This was very good to hear.

    @ Choking…,

    As for christian women responding positively to this, it all depends on how much value she places on Biblical marriage roles, and therefore how much she is willing to submit to God in the process. If she is a truly feminine woman and wants a truly masculine man then she will absolutely be receptive to this. If she isn’t/doesn’t, then she won’t.

  11. @ FBNF

    Anyone is prone to sinning when they are emotional. so it’s important to get people to calm down.

    I addressed this more in the most recent post on being decisive.

  12. Pingback: Lightning Round – 2014/01/29 | Free Northerner

  13. Might want to place an “by approval” setting on pingbacks.

  14. @ LG

    Yep, I’m on it.

    That’s one of the things that is really amusing. People can bend anything to say it means something bad. If I compliment a girl that her hair looks nice she can bend it to mean “it didn’t look nice before?!”

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