Game is not a toolbox, but it may look like a toolbox.
In to game or not to game, I explored the inherent selfish nature of game as opposed to that of godly masculinity.
Likewise, over at Free Northerner’s Christian masculinity we’ve been talking about the merits of game versus godly masculinity.
The best way to illustrate how “game” is not a toolbox is indeed through analogies since game as a toolbox is an analogy. Here are analogies I present that should make clear that game, while looking like a toolbox and perhaps acting like a toolbox, is not a toolbox.
Even though a gun is just a gun, would you want to own the gun of someone who used it to commit mass murder? Would you want to own the gun of one of the columbine shooters? On the other hand, would you even keep a gun that you used to kill an intruder in your home who meant you deadly harm?
There’s an innate revulsion that we have to the “gun” or “tool” that is used to commit murder, even though we know the tool is not responsible for the decision of the owner. Indeed, there may even be men and women who use a “tool” such as a gun in self defense to where they would have serious issues with keeping it after they used it to successfully defend themselves and kill someone.
Would you argue that sex is sex and the only difference between fornication and sex in marriage is context?I think that’s an indefensible position. The reason why sex as an emotional, spiritual, and physical act in marriage is holy is because first the heart is right with God and we are walking into what God said was very good for His creation.
Men and women can even sense the difference. Greater marital satisfaction in husbands and wives who waited to have sex after marriage than those who had premarital sex. There’s tons of statistics and studies to support this, and the reasons for this are probably many.
Sure, we can certainly learn from things that are not in and of the Bible. But the heart must be right with God in such actions. I would certainly not attempt to use dread game on a wife as God tells me that jealosy is of the flesh. Yet, I see Christians in the ‘sphere fully supporting the use of dread game.
The biggest point that I see missing from the “game is a toolbox” proponents is how to reconcile their argument with the idea that we are are not just physical and emotional but also spiritual beings. We know from Galatians 5 that we are either doing things of the Spirit or of the flesh.
A Christian man who sets boundaries for his wife and shows leadership to have her calm down when she is emotional does so because he loves her as his own body, like Christ has loved the church and doesn’t want the drama. And he doesn’t want her to get emotional because she may sin in her hyperemotional state. He is concerned with growing both of their relationships towards God in true righteousness and holiness.
A player who sets boundaries for his girlfriend and shows leadership to have her calm down when she is emotional does so because he doesn’t want the drama only. The fact that the motivations are inherently selfish imbue the whole act to be selfish and only of the flesh. Eventually, when you have only someone that cares about themselves, it will show in their actions and lead to at least some form of resentment from the other party.
These two may look the same outwardly. They may even use the same words or mannerisms. But they are not the same because God judges both the hearts, the minds, and the actions. This is the spiritual component of our actions that is missing when we say that game is JUST a toolbox.
We know that God tests both the hearts, minds, and actions:
Jeremiah 11:20 But, O LORD of hosts, who judges righteously, Who tries the feelings and the heart, Let me see Your vengeance on them, For to You have I committed my cause.
Jeremiah 17:10 “I, the LORD, search the heart, I test the mind, Even to give to each man according to his ways, According to the results of his deeds.
1 Chronicles 29:17-19 I know, my God, that you test the heart and have pleasure in uprightness. In the uprightness of my heart I have freely offered all these things, and now I have seen your people, who are present here, offering freely and joyously to you. O Lord, the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Israel, our fathers, keep forever such purposes and thoughts in the hearts of your people, and direct their hearts toward you. Grant to Solomon my son a whole heart that he may keep your commandments, your testimonies, and your statutes, performing all, and that he may build the palace for which I have made provision.”
Psalm 7:9 Oh, let the evil of the wicked come to an end, and may you establish the righteous— you who test the minds and hearts, O righteous God!
Revelation 2:23 And all the churches will know that I am he who searches mind and heart, and I will give to each of you according to your works.
Now, this isn’t to say “game” should be totally eschewed completely as there are many of us in the manosphere who have come to a greater zeal and fervor for the Lord because He has used the evil of game for good in us.
But know then this,
- It is good to know to learn about what to do and what not to do from the nature of intersex relationships from the Scriptures, godly mentors, prayer, fasting, meditation on the Word, etc.
- It is good to know what not to do from knowledge of the nature of the flesh such as game.
- But I would be very, very, very careful about what learning what to do from something inherently selfish like game.
Now, God gave man logic and free will and we can use it to come to good conclusions about the nature of His creation. In this line of thought, Keoni’s assertion that the underlying concepts of game as a Praxeology is correct.
For example, in the medical field humans have come up with amazing technology to preserve and extend lives through the nature of creativity and invention of the intelligence and logic which God has blessed us with. However, increased knowledge and innovation can be easily warped such as the entrenched establishement of “low fat high carb healthy diets” and pharmaceutical companies more concerned about profits than well being of the people.
This is to say that God may allow one to learn concepts about how He created masculinity to be through game, but if we do learn from that which is of the flesh we need to be hyperaware of if we are being deceived.
This is my main problem with game.
I can see there is utility in knowledge of it because God has allowed me to learn from it without being deceived. But what of my other brothers and sisters in Christ?
What if a Christian man who has no firm foundation in God is exposed to game? He may be deceived by the inherent nature of the flesh that game purports and is further drawn away from God into a life of hedonistic principles. For every Christian that has seen the light of God’s creation, what about those that have fallen away from the faith because of game? I certainly know of many PUAs and players that were formerly Christians or Catholics.
This is precisely the reason why as Christians we should not espouse game as something that all Christians should know, at the very least until each one of those that we know has a firm foundation in Christ and seeks to please Him above all. It is only then that showing them knowledge of the flesh can be a learning experience without a temptation. You shouldn’t give a man the components to build a house without first ensuring that he has a rock solid foundation to build on.
The foundation must be a heart for God first, and extensive knowledge of the Scriptures and how they apply to life. Then, and only then, is an introduction to the knowledge of “game” may be worth considering because of its strong appeal to temptation and selfishness.
Lest we not forget that a firm foundation is required before adding on top of it a house.