Key concept behind this post — Be respectful of someone else’s time — for someone else’s time is also the Lord’s.

This is a practical post the in the category of Offensive (self) from the Framework of Offense and Defense.

Basic manners are one of the things that has been lost as society, feminism, and churchianity has been more engrossed in the lie that men and women are the same, or even worse that women are superior to men.

Thus, the focus of this post is to create an atmosphere of respect around yourself as well as force women into more basic manners when they speak with men.

Anytime a woman asks you a question or asks for you to help her or someone with anything without saying “please” then tell her,

  • You: “What’s the magic word?” with a grin
  • You: “Aren’t you forgetting something?”
  • Her: “What?”
  • You: “Your manners” with a grin
  • You: “Where are your manners, missy?” with a grin

Or any types of variations on that as you like.

Some will reply with a “yes, mom” to which you can reply with a “you need to go do your homework and laundry too.”

There’s three things to keep in mind with setting boundaries like this.

  1. If they refuse to say “please” then you must absolutely refuse to help them or answer their question. They’re being impolite, and you shouldn’t acquiesce to someone who is being deliberately rude you.
  2. If they do say “please” then you still have the option of deciding whether or not you can help her or not. As I talked about in Christian nice guys are abused, there are boundaries that you should not cross. It’s good manners to for her to say please, but you shouldn’t feel bad if you have to say no to her request after she says please. This is critical, or women will abuse you for this as well.
  3. You can also call women on this when they speak to other men as well. This works as an excellent tease to them, and it will demonstrate how to interact with women to other men as well. Hopefully, it catches on.

If they whine that you don’t say this to other men, all you have to do is smile and reply “men and women are different, sweetie.” If she’s huffy about it then you can add in some snark “Didn’t you take biology in school? Men and women are different, sweetie.”

Once women catch onto this they will start to do the same thing back to you. You’re asserting new boundaries, and they want to see if they can test the boundaries because they like squeezing your handshake back if you squeeze theirs. Women always like to test the boundaries because then they see who is a man and who isn’t.

The proper response to this semi fitness-testing attitude that they have is to defuse it with humor. Fortunately, there’s many, many, many, other magic words that you can use in this situation. Some of the ones I like to use are:

  • Open Sesame
  • Abracadabra
  • Shazam!

The vast majority of women will laugh because it’s so unexpected that you don’t say “please” and instead say something totally unrelated.

If you do use a multiple word phrase, there are some women who will pick up on that as they will have said “what’s the magic word” with no “s” on the “word.” And a simple reply of “argh, you caught me” with a grin or “what are you going to do about?” with a grin is enough to tease her back.

Once you get counterplay from this where they start replying “abracadabra” to your manners demand, then you tell them

  • “hey, you’re not supposed to say that!”
  • “hey, you can’t do that back to me!”

And from there you have built up an atmosphere where you can tease each other about it, and you have made them aware of their bad manners for the better.

Remember, the interplay of conversation like this is first and foremost an easy way to make women more polite and respectful of you and men in general. That’s how Christian women should be treating their brothers and sisters in Christ anyway, and you’re just reminding her of it. The fact that it is teasing/flirting interaction is again a nice side effect.

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8 Responses to Please

  1. Joseph of Jackson says:

    Nice explanation. Would you mind if I link to you in an upcoming post? It’s about boundaries and I’d like to just link this as one of my examples that are easy to implement.

  2. donalgraeme says:

    I never consciously set out to do this, but now that you mention it Deep Strength, I’ve been doing this for a while now without realizing it. Internalized frame and all that I guess.

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