Helpmeet

Women were created to be helpmeets to their husbands. Strong’s dictionary for the word helpmeet is:

H5828 — ‛êzer — ay’-zer

From H5826; aid: – help.

This is used it the following passages in Genesis 2 (NASB):

18 Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper (êzer) [o]suitable for him.” 19 Out of the ground the Lord God formed every beast of the field and every bird of the [p]sky, and brought them to the man to see what he would call them; and whatever the man called a living creature, that was its name. 20 The man gave names to all the cattle, and to the birds of the [q]sky, and to every beast of the field, but for [r]Adam there was not found a helper (êzer) [s]suitable for him. 21 So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept; then He took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh at that place. 22 The Lord God [t]fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man, and brought her to the man.

And this is the context of the other 19 times that êzer is used in the Scriptures:

Exodus 18:4 [c]The other was named [d]Eliezer, for he said, “The God of my father was my help (êzer), and delivered me from the sword of Pharaoh.”

Deuteronomy 33:7 And this regarding Judah; so he said, “Hear, O Lord, the voice of Judah, And bring him to his people. With his hands he contended for [g]them, And may You be a help (êzer) against his adversaries.”

Deuteronomy 33:26 “There is none like the God of [p]Jeshurun, Who rides the heavens [q]to your help (êzer),

Deuteronomy 33:29 “Blessed are you, O Israel; Who is like you, a people saved by the Lord, Who is the shield of your help (êzer) And the sword of your majesty! So your enemies will cringe before you, And you will tread upon their high places.”

Psalm 20:1 May the Lord answer you in the day of trouble! May the name of the God of Jacob set you securely on high! 2 May He send you help (êzer) from the sanctuary And support you from Zion!

Psalm 33:20 Our soul waits for the Lord; He is our help (êzer) and our shield.

Psalm 70:5 But I am afflicted and needy; Hasten to me, O God! You are my help (êzer) and my deliverer; O Lord, do not delay.

Psalm 89:19 [o]Once You spoke in vision to Your godly [p]ones, And said, “I have [q]given help (êzer) to one who is mighty;

Psalm 115:9 O Israel, trust in the Lord; He is their help (êzer) and their shield. 10 O house of Aaron, trust in the Lord; He is their help (êzer) and their shield. 11 You who [e]fear the Lord, trust in the Lord; He is their help (êzer) and their shield.

Psalm 121:1 I will lift up my eyes to the mountains; From where shall my help (êzer) come? 2 My help (êzer) comes from the Lord, Who made heaven and earth.

Psalm 124:8 Our help (êzer) is in the name of the Lord, Who made heaven and earth.

Paslm 146:5 How blessed is he whose help (êzer) is the God of Jacob, Whose hope is in the Lord his God,

Isaiah 30:5 “Everyone will be ashamed because of a people who cannot profit them, Who are not for help (êzer) or profit, but for shame and also for reproach.” (This was Judah’s warning against an alliance with Egypt.)

Ezekiel 12:14 I will scatter to every wind all who are around him, his helpers (êzer) and all his troops; and I will draw out a sword after them.

Daniel 11:34 Now when they fall they will be granted a little help (êzer) and many will join with them in hypocrisy.

Hosea 13:9 It is your destruction, O Israel, [j]That you are against Me, against your help (êzer).

You can see the difference in help from the Lord especially in the Psalms contrasted to help from either earthly powers or those who disobey God in the prophets.

I’m not a woman, and I don’t know what it is like to be a woman. I suspect that most feminists would have vehement hatred to be called an êzer, but that’s the incorrect frame of mind. Christian wives should revel in being an êzer, as she is created to be the physical representation of the help of the Lord to her husband. Is there any higher calling than to walk in the will of the Father?

Just as husbands are to love their wives as Christ loved the church, so wives are to help their husbands as the Lord is our help in times of trouble.

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16 Responses to Helpmeet

  1. Jacob Ian Stalk says:

    DS,

    I’m wondering about your conclusion. Is the help that a wife is to give to her husband really like the help the Lord provides to us? Is a wife to help only in times of trouble?

    I suspect that a wife’s duty is to be a helper to her husband in everything, at all times, and in all situations. Obviously, no wife is perfect, just as no husband is perfect, so different couples will get different mileage from this, but the attitude is everything. Being a helper to her husband ought to be the default attitude of a wife, and cultivating it her primary responsibility in marriage. This ought be for all situations and for all times, whether or not her husband is in need of help in any given situation or at any given time. The default attitude matters: a husband who know his wife is standing ready, poised to assist in any and every way possible to bring the marriage into God’s glory, is able to carry out his headship responsibilities joyfully and without hindrance.

    The Lord, on the other hand, is a helper in the same sense that a master is a helper to a slave. He helps in order that His work be done; that we obey His commands and follow His rules. By the Holy Spirit He cultivates in both husband and wife the ability to do this, which is unlike anything a wife does for her husband. She does not infuse in him by her help the ability to be the head of his marriage, or to be a father to his children. She can help him, and most certainly hinder him, but in a different way to the way the Lord helps. She is more like the lieutenant to her husband’s captain, rather than the admiral of the fleet.

    I realize this wasn’t your intended meaning, and perhaps a little nit-picky, but it pays to be clear to the very end. I hope I’ve expressed this in a helpful way.

  2. @ Jacob

    I see where you are coming from but I would disagree.

    We know that in the New Testament that all believers have the Holy Spirit, and the Holy Spirit in us allows us to do good just as God is good. After all, one of the fruits of the Spirit that all Christians are supposed to exhibit is goodness, and we cannot do that without the Spirit working in us. Likewise, just as God is loving (agapao), we too are called by Jesus to do agapao love to each other. I covered this in several of the expositions such God is good and the good and the good, and the bad and the bad.

    It’s essential to realized the power that God has gifted humans in His Creation — He created us in His own image and called it very good as opposed to His other creation which was just good — and through the New Testamant we are able to have Him work through us as if He was with us and as if He is in us through the Counselor.

    John 14:11 Believe Me that I am in the Father and the Father is in Me; otherwise believe because of the works themselves. 12 Truly, truly, I say to you, he who believes in Me, the works that I do, he will do also; and greater works than these he will do; because I go to the Father. 13 Whatever you ask in My name, that will I do, so that the Father may be glorified in the Son. 14 If you ask Me anything in My name, I will do it. 15 “If you love Me, you will keep My commandments.

    And John 15:12 “This is My commandment, that you love one another, just as I have loved you. 13 Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends. 14 You are My friends if you do what I command you. 15 No longer do I call you slaves, for the slave does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all things that I have heard from My Father I have made known to you. 16 You did not choose Me but I chose you, and appointed you that you would go and bear fruit, and that your fruit would remain, so that whatever you ask of the Father in My name He may give to you. 17 This I command you, that you love one another.

    I think it limits the power of God to work in us to say that the wife cannot act as Jesus would act. She certainly can if she is ultimately following Jesus and allowing God/Holy Spirit to work through her.

    Ultimately, a wife is called to be a husband’s helpmeet, just as God is our helpmeet. Crazy to think about but theologically accurate based on the New Testament.

  3. Looking Glass says:

    Family relationships are *constantly* used throughout the Bible as our way to understand how God operates and expects us to operate.

    Proverbs 7:4 “Say unto wisdom, Thou art my sister; and call understanding thy kinswoman:” The Wisdom texts (early chapters in Proverbs) display “Wisdom” of the Spirit in the feminine.

    God is the “Father”; Jesus is our “friend”; we’re Sons of God; the Church is the “Bride” of Christ; we are “Brothers” in Christ.

    It sets and shows how we are to relate to God and others. God is faithful and he talks short, He keeps it all pretty simple. It’s just hard to accept.

  4. Jacob Ian Stalk says:

    DS,

    I’m not suggesting that a wife who acts as Jesus would act is wrong. On the contrary, that would seem to be what Jesus has in mind for all souls, whether husband, wife, single man, single woman etc. However, since men and women are biological, and biologically different to each other, the particular sins that stem from those different functions needs the roles defined for us in Scripture for management purposes. That is not to limit the power of God in any way – His plan seems to be to conform all men and women to Jesus, who is without male or female form as the Holy Spirit – but to manage our carnality optimally in this life.

    Put another way, a wife who is fully obedient to Jesus will act like Jesus but no wife is like that in her biological condition. Since we can’t reliably know in our biological condition whether what we do is of good or evil origin (Romans 7:13-25), we have to follow the roles God has given us (e.g. Eph 5:22-32, 1 Peter 3:1-2). A husband needs Jesus’ help to reach the ultimate goal of conforming to Himself, and of course the help of a perfectly obedient wife would be great, but no wife is like that in real life, so to ensure his safety and hers the help she gives needs to be contained within apostolic parameters. It’s not ideal, as it would be on the last day, but then neither is sin, which is with us still.

    Thoughts?

  5. @ Jacob

    I think what you are saying is what realistically happens.

    But I don’t think Jesus gave the commands He did for no reason. Idealistically, that is what it is supposed to look like in a marriage, and I think that’s what a husband and wife should be striving for as one flesh.

  6. @ Jacob

    Let me put it this way.

    It requires faith. And it’s a measure of your faith.

    Jesus says in Matthew 5 to be perfect as God is perfect.

  7. Jacob Ian Stalk says:

    DS,

    This makes sense in terms of God’s final plan for us, but it is not His final plan and the means by which He accomplishes this that Game seeks to address. Game seeks to address a more temporal problem, which is how to deal with a man-woman relationship situation where perfect faith is non-existent. I don’t know how much help it will be to a Christian man whose marriage is failing, or a single man who wants to be married but can’t attract the wife he desires, to suggest that he needs more faith or to follow Jesus commands more closely. If he is a Christian man, presumably he will be doing this already. His problem stems not from imperfect faith in God’s final plan or a lack of obedience to Jesus’ commands, as these are universal, but from the lack of an effective remedial strategy.

    Jesus teaches us about God’s final plan for each of us, so His commands are with this in mind. In the meantime, as men and women bump and jostle each other trying to fulfill them in our sinful and imperfect condition, all we have by way of practical advice are the apostolic parameters. The question remaining in my mind is how can a sinful and imperfectly faithful wife help her sinful and imperfectly faithful husband, if neither is like Jesus before the final day?

  8. Jacob,

    This makes sense in terms of God’s final plan for us, but it is not His final plan and the means by which He accomplishes this that Game seeks to address. Game seeks to address a more temporal problem, which is how to deal with a man-woman relationship situation where perfect faith is non-existent. I don’t know how much help it will be to a Christian man whose marriage is failing, or a single man who wants to be married but can’t attract the wife he desires, to suggest that he needs more faith or to follow Jesus commands more closely. If he is a Christian man, presumably he will be doing this already. His problem stems not from imperfect faith in God’s final plan or a lack of obedience to Jesus’ commands, as these are universal, but from the lack of an effective remedial strategy.

    This is incorrect.

    https://deepstrength.wordpress.com/2014/02/04/understanding-the-world-and-the-mission/

    As I have addressed in the above post, and many other posts on this site, it is the masculinity that is attractive to women. “Game” is essentially masculinity codified into something we can understand, albeit as used by gamers mostly in an evil fashion.

    It is not the characteristics of faith that are attractive, it is a Christian man walking his faith out that is attractive (or rather that garners respect). Christian nice guys do not walk out their faith the way Jesus and the apostles lay out in the Scriptures either because they are taught incorrectly by churchianity, society, feminism, or because they believe what Christian women tell them about women.

    Christian nice guys are afraid of women, afraid of laying out their preferences, afraid to call out women for any wrong doing, and put them on a pedstal. They are amorphous to women because they want to please women over pleasing God. This is not Christian behavior by any means. They may be walking out their faith between themselves, God, and other men, but they are certainly not masculine with women.

    Thus, the problem is that Christian nice guys are NOT acting in a Christian manner around women. If they were acting in a Christian manner they would be acting masculine and not effeminate which the Scriptures condemn.

    Christian nice guys do not act masculine to women which is why they are unattractive. “Game” does solve this problem because it teaches men to act more masculine albeit as seen from the manosphere this is haphazard at best and the wide road to hell at worst.

    Jesus teaches us about God’s final plan for each of us, so His commands are with this in mind. In the meantime, as men and women bump and jostle each other trying to fulfill them in our sinful and imperfect condition, all we have by way of practical advice are the apostolic parameters. The question remaining in my mind is how can a sinful and imperfectly faithful wife help her sinful and imperfectly faithful husband, if neither is like Jesus before the final day?

    Obviously, we are sinful and we mess up. In fact, it would be naive to believe that we could walk this life without sinning again.

    But to what we are called by the faith, grace, and mercy of God… wives are supposed to be striving to be an ezer to their husband as God is our ezer.

    I think Jesus makes that abundantly clear that is supposed to be the mindset that we are supposed to have irregardless of the fact that we are human and we fail time and time again.

  9. Jacob Ian Stalk says:

    DS,

    What part of that first blockquote are you claiming is incorrect? Not all of it I hope.

  10. @ Jacob

    All of it is an incorrect frame of mind. If you read my most recent post you will see what I am talking about.

    This makes sense in terms of God’s final plan for us, but it is not His final plan and the means by which He accomplishes this that Game seeks to address. Game seeks to address a more temporal problem, which is how to deal with a man-woman relationship situation where perfect faith is non-existent. I don’t know how much help it will be to a Christian man whose marriage is failing, or a single man who wants to be married but can’t attract the wife he desires, to suggest that he needs more faith or to follow Jesus commands more closely. If he is a Christian man, presumably he will be doing this already. His problem stems not from imperfect faith in God’s final plan or a lack of obedience to Jesus’ commands, as these are universal, but from the lack of an effective remedial strategy.

    1. Game seeks to address male attractiveness/respect to women. “Game” is essentially a codification of masculinity, much of what existed prior and has been lost because no father to son teaching anymore.

    2. Game only addresses a problem where Christian men are nice. Christian men are not supposed to be nice. It’s not a fruit of the Spirit, nor is it righteous. Nice puts feelings on a pedastal instead of God.

    3. Thus, by the same measure, because Christian men put women’s feelings on a pedastal they are SINNING. They are not acting in a Christian manner around women. If women are rude then Christian men should call them out. Christian men are not supposed to sit back and allow women to sin. See Matthew 18.

    4. The reason I say that a Christian nice guy needs to follow the Scriptures more closely and have greater faith is because he is NOT following his faith when around women. As you can see above, a Christian nice guy who allows women to run roughshod all over him and who puts women and their feelings on a pedastal is clearly NOT serving God. He is NOT walking in his faith NOR is he following the Scripture closely.

    Let me reiterate since game has clouded your judgment: Christian nice guys are not following their faith and are sinning around women. This is because Christian men are not supposed to act effeminate (1 Cor 6) or put women on a pedstal (idol). This type of sin is unattractive to women which is no wonder why Christian nice guys are unattractive to women.

    5. The Christian man may be in good standing other men and able to follow the Scriptures around them, BUT he is not following the Scriptures around women and thus he is not following God in this area.

    When you understand that Christian nice guys are NOT following God and in reality sinning around women, you will understand why I am “anti-game.” I want Christian men to be masculine around women which means following God’s commands and putting Him on the pedastal instead of women. Currently, Christian nice guys are NOT following God’s commands around women.

    This is why “godly masculinity” builds respect and is attractive to women. Remember, game is only “showing masculinity.” If I said that showing “godly game” builds respect and is attractive to women no one would bat an eye. The difference is that instead of giving credit to game I only give credit to God. Godly masculinity is the real thing and godly game is not giving credit to the Creator of masculinity.

  11. I love this! “Ezer” is used more in the Hebrew language as a “life-saver.” This is for a reason… it’s more than just a mere “helper” … the true meaning is much deeper for a wife.

  12. k8 says:

    That is exactly what women were made to do. There is really no greater accomplishment for a woman than to support and encourage her man on his path to glory. The triumphs he achieves attests to the quality of the woman next to him. Personal glory doesn’t really satisfy because it’ll just make your man look like a loser next to you and women are judged by the quality of the man they are with.

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  16. Patrick Pedat Ebediyah Golston says:

    I’m late to this, but I’ll add one thing to what DS is saying about the brethren and compromising the STRENGTH of godly masculinity and truth:

    This is a solid case for Christian men to AVOID unsaved women like the plague. If so-called Christian woman cannot be relied upon to surrender themselves to our Master, then what the hell could we reasonably expect from an non-professing and non-confessing one?

    I can tell you that ALL of my woes came from trying to be a good Christian guy to drop-dead gorgeous women who talked a good game, but ended up being unsaved, unconverted, bohemian, Libertine women who just happened to have some twerp Christian “friends” (phony ass preachers trying to hit it on the down-low) vouching for their “goodness”.

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