This is a segue off of yesterday’s post Excuses and Explanations.
The two-fold nature of pride or self-righteousness is as follows:
- Whatever is “good” and can benefit me is for me alone. I should not have to share it with others.
- Whatever is “bad” and does not benefit me is the fault of someone else. I do not have to take responsibility for anyone or anything because it’s not my problem.
In the first example, authority and knowledge are held to the exclusion of others. In the second example, responsibility and accountability are shifted away from authority or knowledge.
In the non-Christian manosphere it is easy to see that the PUAs and players have the first one in spades. First, many of these men were nice guys, and they were abused by women who used them to suit their emotional, monetary, and other needs. They feel abused, and then they want “revenge” of sorts. Instead of weilding masculinity graciously, they pervert it into the evils of the dark triad. They use women for their own pleasure and bask in success while allowing it to harm the women they are using. Women are playthings to use as they want.
On the other hand, the latter one is what nice guys have in spades. My life is garbage but it’s not because any of it is my fault. It’s because I wasn’t born into a better situation. It’s because I didn’t have a father to teach me how to be a man. It’s not my fault that women are treating me like garbage and abusing me. It’s not my fault that any of these situations I’m in is so poor. Likewise, it’s not my problem that others are in sin. It’s not my problem to speak up in this situation. Let someone else do it.
In the context of male-female relationships you will see that the worldly way of thinking is shifted from blaming others for your problems to taking responsibility for them. This is good. However, these same individuald do not understand that once you take responsibility for your own problems instead of being gracious it leads to pride and self importance instead of love. This is why the secular red pill embraces the dark triad traits. They consider themselves as paramount — “what’s in it for me?”
All the nice guys who transform themselves into players do in these scenarios is exchange the pride of “not-my-fault” for the pride of “I’m-holier-than-thou” or “I-can-do-what-I-want.” The same is true of Christian men who try to emulate the players.
Becoming like Jesus requires the destruction of all pride. Don’t trade one pride for another.
Instead of approaching people — both men and women — to use as things. Instead, if you are indeed more mature in the faith use it as an opportunity to be loving and kind in order to help guide them on the correct path. Sure, you can lead by berating and kicking around others, but most of the best leaders lead by example to teach and correct.