One of the things that most women do — whether they are aware or unaware of — is tying their feelings and emotions to decisions.
For example, if a husband or boyfriend is making a decision such as picking a restaurant other other financial choice, there are some ways that a wife can subtly affect his behavior.
Him: “Let’s go to X restaurant.”
Her: “Are you sure?”
Her: “I don’t know how I feel about that”
A question like “are you sure” is a subtle affront to decision making which implicitly says the women doesn’t trust you or that she can sense that you’re seeking approval from her. This is something to quash.
The statement about her not “feeling it” is even worse than that because she is basically giving her opinion that she doesn’t like it in a passive-aggressive manner. This is something to quash even more firmly.
However, there are situations that seem better, but in reality may lead to insidious rebellion.
Him: “Let’s go to X restaurant.”
Her: “I’m happy with anything you choose”
Her: “I’m comfortable with what you’re comfortable doing”
The simple fact of the matter is that women often tie their emotions to a man’s decision making. This is bad because it implicitly tells a man that his decisions are tied to her emotions.
It is easy for a woman in this state of mind to go down the feminist route to say that is she is unhappy or displeased with a decision. Then you have a boyfriend or husband who is in a dilemma where he is second guessing himself or stuck in a conflict when there shouldn’t be one. He either caves to her unhappiness which is destructive to the relationship. On the other hand, the other choice is that he has to engage in that unnecessary conflict which most men are going to want to avoid, and it can easily escalate into a fight or something else that is out of control.
What is inevitably better is for a woman to affirm a man’s decision making instead without tying her feelings to it:
Her: “That’s great. I trust your decision making.”
Her: “That’s great. I trust your judgment.”
Doing this will bring the relationship between a husband and wife closer because there is trust built here rather than a husband being implicitly a slave to his wife’s emotions. I would say this is best used for small decisions that don’t really matter in the large scheme of things. To be faithful in the small things means that a man will start to trust a woman in large things.
Matthew 25:23 “His master said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful slave. You were faithful with a few things, I will put you in charge of many things; enter into the joy of your master.'”
Luke 16:10 “He who is faithful in a very little thing is faithful also in much; and he who is unrighteous in a very little thing is unrighteous also in much.”
That way when a man has to make a large decision to make his faith in his wife or girlfriend has already been boosted by her trust in the small things. That way her input, even her feelings in a large decision, will have more weight in his decision making. He will not feel that the his wife or girlfriend is trying to manipulate him because the trust is there, and his decision making has not been prematurely tied to her feelings as in the small things.
Obviously, this is very subtle behavior that appears innocuous but has the ability to head down the path of the destructive unhappy wife. Both Christian men and women should take heed of a woman tying her emotions to a man’s decision making.