These are previous two posts that feed into this post.
If we don’t understand the commands that God gave us in the beginning, and that which was restored through Jesus and His sacrifice then we cannot be godly masculine men.
I had been struggling with how to write the follow up post because I couldn’t quite tie everything together. Let me explain. The goal of a Christian man is not about becoming attractive, but rather about the pursuit of God in such a way that attraction is a natural side effect. It takes a certain kind of boldness and confidence that we all should have as Christians to match the disciples preaching the gospel of the Lord Jesus Christ even unto their death as martyrs.
In reality, I had just been overthinking it. The teaching of Jesus is so simple with word-picture parables that any child could understand, but so laced with deeper meanings that most adults couldn’t get it unless they accepted grace and faith from God.
Sometimes it takes worldly things to remind you of that. A couple days ago, this was posted on the RP subreddit. The seven deadly sins of a BP beta. This intruiged me because I intentionally wrote about this in A Christian Understanding of Attraction:
What is very interesting is that a man’s lack of dominion results in sin. Think for a moment about the 7 deadly sins:
- Lust — When a man is uncontrolled (or lacks dominion) over his desire for money, food, fame, power, or sex then he falls into sin.
- Gluttony — When a man is uncontrolled (or lacks dominion) over his wants or needs then he overindulges or overconsumes.
- Greed — When a man is uncontrolled (or lacks dominion) over his desire for material possessions.
- Sloth — When a man is uncontrolled (or lacks dominion) over his own laziness.
- Wrath — When a man is uncontrolled (or lacks dominion) over his emotions especially anger.
- Envy — When a man is uncontrolled (or lacks dominion) over his desire for what his neighbor possesses.
- Pride — When a man is uncontrolled (or lacks dominion) over himself.
Pride, being the original and most serious sin, is what all of the other sins stem from. It is a lack of dominion over himself such that he loses control in any of the areas above such as lust, gluttony, greed, sloth, wrath, or envy.
If you read the comments of the thread you understand that the 7 deadly sins don’t really make sense in any context but a Christian one. For example, a non-Christian man who isn’t ruled by his lust is able to free himself from the neediness of women. But all of this is performed in order that he eventually fulfill his lust by having sex with many women.
It’s a series of never ending steps of denial and gratification. In other words, it’s ultimately about you. Become a better version of you, so you can indulge yourself in things you want. Pride goes through the roof as you engage in greater levels of sinful behavior. We have seen this before:
Genesis 6:5 Then the Lord saw that the wickedness of man was great on the earth, and that every intent of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually. 6 The Lord was sorry that He had made man on the earth, and He was grieved [e]in His heart. 7 The Lord said, “I will blot out man whom I have created from the face of the land, from man to animals to creeping things and to birds of the [f]sky; for I am sorry that I have made them.” 8 But Noah found favor in the eyes of the Lord.
Matthew 24:36 “But of that day and hour no one knows, not even the angels of heaven, nor the Son, but the Father alone. 37 For [y]the coming of the Son of Man will be just like the days of Noah. 38 For as in those days before the flood they were eating and drinking, marrying and giving in marriage, until the day that Noah entered the ark, 39 and they did not [z]understand until the flood came and took them all away; so will the coming of the Son of Man be. 40 Then there will be two men in the field; one [aa]will be taken and one [ab]will be left. 41 Two women will be grinding at the [ac]mill; one [ad]will be taken and one [ae]will be left.
In any case, I’m going to hash this out further in the next few sections.
Hierarchy of responsibility
God is no fool. I don’t believe it to be a coincidence that God made PSALMs — power/personality, status, athleticism, looks, and money — to be attractive to women. As has been stated before, all of these things signal that a man is able to move within a community to provide for her and her children.
It is also no coincidence that as the wealth of a society increases, the reliance of women for men as providers also decreases. Women are not reliant on a man’s money for a decent quality of life, and it becomes less of a factor in her wanting to marry. However, power/personality, status, athleticism, and looks all still very much apply.
The responsibility of a man of God only increases as more has been added to him:
- If a man cannot take dominion over himself is he going to be able to take dominion over himself and a wife?
- If a man can take dominion over himself how much more ready and prepared will he be for a wife.
You become a man by systematically taking dominion over your pride, your lust, your gluttony, your greed, your sloth, your wrath, and your envy. Doing this consistently eliminates neediness and dependence on others which changes you into a man that is attractive to women.
Likewise, if a man is able to take dominion over himself, and find a wife there is increase in responsibility within the family itself:
- One of the fruit of sex is intimacy. If you don’t have dominion over yourself, then intimacy is going to be hindered as deep rooted aspects of yourself come to the surface.
- Another fruit of sex is children: If you don’t have dominion over yourself and your wife, how are you going to be responsible for more life?
If I’m not comfortable taking control over myself and my actions, then I’m not going to be comfortable when interacting with others especially into an extremely intimate and revealing act as sex.
Matthew 25:29 “For to everyone who has, more shall be given, and he will have an abundance; but from the one who does not have, even what he does have shall be taken away. 30 Throw out the worthless slave into the outer darkness; in that place there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.
This is one of the primary principles in life that extends to every part. God made creation in such a way that as you become a better steward over yourself and the things you have been entrusted with then He often gives us more to be stewards over.
This isn’t to say that if I master everything about myself that I will have a wife. But I will be significantly more attractive to women that I should have no trouble finding a wife if I desire, and it is God’s will.
It’s important to understand that mastering yourself in terms of the Christian walk is to become more like Jesus. Showing that you have boundaries for your own life in terms of the Christian ideal will spill over into your interactions with others.
For example, in Donal’s most recent post on reality versus reason is a discussion of what expectations are reasonable and realistic for look for in a spouse. My view has naturally shifted towards a more reciprocal nature: