I wrote this over in response to FNBF’s asking what women can do to signal interest to a man [for marriage]. I figured I’d post it here because I have written a bit on this before along the lines of a brief commentary to Christian women who desire a husband and 3 methods Christian women can implement to become attracted to Christian men.
In this case, I wanted to delve into some specifics that single women can use in conversation to signal interest. The majority of what I wrote on before has been specifically about improving attraction and desirability outside of conversation. Initiating and maintaining good conversation is where a man is really going to get the feeling that he really wants to ask a woman out, especially if it’s really engaging and you’re really clicking with each other.
So let’s get to it.
1. Make sure you isolate yourself from other men and women and are simultaneously are in close proximity to the man you are interested in. Very few men are going to want to ask out a women with lots of friends around. I would even go so far as to isolate and then start up a conversation with him yourself. A semi-private location like the corner of the room, or grabbing a couple seats off to the side is solid.
2. Make sure you have a decent amount of privacy. If you’re the type of woman who is almost always conversing with other women much of the time, give the other women a heads up that you want to have a private conversation with said man. Private conversation may imply that you’re interested in him which you may or may not tell your girlfriends so you can reword it to be as innocuous as you want.
1. Ask about his interests, goals, and especially dreams. The goals and dreams of a man are going to be what he is actually passionate and willing to talk about, and you also get a glimpse of his life and what he is working toward and if you as a potential wife may fit into it.
2. Dance around the issues (e.g. flirt with them). For example, you can bring up something about reading an article about dating versus courtship and how you’re a bit puzzled what to think about it and simply *NEED* a male perspective to help clarify it. The majority of men actually do indeed like helping women out, so most men would be exceptionally willing to give his perspective on such matters especially if he likes you. This can work with any topic in regard to dating/marriage/etc.
3. Deep eye contact. Light physical touch on the arms, back, and other safe zones. Don’t let any distractions: read cell phones, friends, and the like take away from your conversations. Men see women are fickle. Even if she is interested in you but gets sucked into something else easily well apparently she wasn’t interested enough.
4. Try to move things along. Always express how you enjoyed your time with him at the beginning, end, and whatnot. Basically. it preempts anything he has to do about guessing about whether she/you is enjoying spending time with him.
5. Employ the old compliment bait and switched with a statement after he makes you laugh or other moment that brings some form of intimacy. For instance, “wow you’re really funny… just the type of man I like.” You can be more bold with this in semi-escalating ways such as: “wow you’re really funny… just the type of man I like [to get to know better]” or “wow you’re really funny… you know, I wouldn’t say no if a man like you asked me out.” If you do it in a coy manner especially with a big smile that lights up your face most of the time it’s not taken as forward.
6. If all else fails and you’re too shy to employ 5 you can employ the faithful middle school tell a friend to tell the man that she might be interested in you.
If you have anything to add to this, feel free to post it here and/or on FNBF’s site as well.