10 women Christian men should not marry

I saw this post on facebook, and clicked on it expecting the usual trope. It actually turned out to be pretty good given what we know about about the nature of women:


Corollary: http://nycpastor.com/2014/10/23/ten-men-christian-women-should-not-marry/

The comments are particularly enlightening if you want to see a variety of typical emotional responses.

His main mistake is attempting to engage the “Christian” feminists and the like in logical debate regarding the Scriptures. I’ve made this mistake before, even on this blog. They don’t care about what the Scriptures say. Rather instead they say the Scriptures support their opinions without referencing any, and the typical ‘don’t judge’ passage. What they “feel” is right is their truth and not what the Bible says.

However, he does seem to understand that this reaction is normal because of Scriptural quotes from all throughout the NT in defending his points. Likewise, he doesn’t give in to any of it. Kudos.

If I lived in NYC I’d check out the church.

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34 Responses to 10 women Christian men should not marry

  1. mrsktc says:

    Wow, he actually gives some good advice.

  2. donalgraeme says:

    You are right DS, that is a good list. No glaring flares, which puts well above the competition. And the comments are a gold mine of Churchian heresy. I mean, wow.

  3. donalgraeme says:

    *Should have been flaws, not flares.

  4. Don Quixote says:

    I left a comment congratulating his post, it is awaiting moderation. Makes me wonder how did he get such traction with his simple message? Did he post it on reddit or something?

  5. @ Don Quixote

    Most likely posted it on facebook as most people post their blogs on there now. Then it blew up from there.

  6. Feminine But Not Feminist says:

    It’s interesting that so many people are angry about the post about women for men, and so few are angry about the post about men for women. I left a comment that’s yet to pass moderation as well.

  7. ar10308 says:

    Reblogged this on ar10308 and commented:
    This is an excellent collection of Scripture.
    Observe the comments. The Truth of the Lord is an anathema to the modern Churchian woman. And such a whore will be banished.

  8. ar10308 says:

    This is incredible. It is solid, sound advice for the single Christian male (and the article for women as well). Yet the women commenting are utterly apoplectic with rage.

  9. Looking Glass says:

    Ah, comment sections occasionally remind you why we need a Savior: for we damned ourselves with our actions.

  10. donalgraeme says:

    Most of the dissent seems to be directed against point #2, the divorcee. This makes perfect sense, of course. Given how most women, including Churchian women, view divorce as perfectly acceptable, advice not to marry a divorcee strikes right at them.

    And the post about men has not gotten plenty of negative comments as well.

  11. The old “The Bible is the Word of God and we should follow it…. except when I disagree with something it says in which case we should instead look to ‘progress and enlightened society’ for answers.”

  12. Looking Glass says:

    Those comments are a classic “rebuilding the mound” moment, if we’ve ever seen one.

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  14. Bee says:

    Good list.

    Dr. Kim is the first pastor or priest I have heard or read that has the courage to explain that I Corinthians 11 teaches that women were made for men and not the other way around.

    I have met Christian married couples that believe that they should not try to have children because of misguided ideas about over-population. I have also met Christian couples that believe they should adopt instead of trying to have their own children.

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  16. Feminine But Not Feminist says:

    @ Bee

    Christian couples should try to have their own biological children AND adopt. All the talk in scripture about how we are to care for orphans shows that we as Christians shouldn’t ever think that adoption isn’t for us or that it’s not important.

  17. knowethnaught says:

    I cringe reading the comments starting “as a Christian” followed by nonsense…

  18. @ knowethnaught

    Yep, it was mostly “as a Christian… I spew hateful comments that show I’m not a Christian and don’t have any understanding of the Scriptures.”

  19. That is a Wow…just wow! post if I’ve ever seen one. I thought there were no more pastors left who would faithfully preach God’s truth on these matters. Now I know there is one. How blessed are those whom he pastors to have such a leader guiding them and what a shame that there aren’t more like him.

  20. Patrick Pedat Ebediyah Golston says:

    I believe my comments passed moderation, but it’s clear that there are apostates, babes and unconverted folks responding to his post…

  21. Boxer says:

    A great many people (of many religions, and none) agree with you. Please keep writing and thinking.

    Regards, Boxer

  22. Sadly, his other articles are far from right… E.g. http://nycpastor.com/2015/01/04/where-do-dead-babies-go/ – here he deleted about half comments (including mine, where I gave him biblical rebuttal against God punishing people solely for original sin) and then closed comments, so nobody could call him on that…

  23. paulb says:

    Wow… rather than listing 10 women Christian men should not marry, he should just link to the responses. I’m up to 647 women Christian men should not marry based on what I read there. The folks replying are about as Un-Christian as I’ve ever seen.

  24. Johnny Doe says:

    Absolutely, Paul. Funny how these posts come out about God being about unconditional love, but Gen Chs 6-8 shows otherwise.

    I just find it laughable that so many women thumping their bags of cat litter over equality still found it necessary to step right over into a thread targeting men just to impose their sloppy lack of standards on men.

  25. Johnny Doe says:

    Dr. Kim is the first pastor or priest I have heard or read that has the courage to explain that I Corinthians 11 teaches that women were made for men and not the other way around.

    I have met Christian married couples that believe that they should not try to have children because of misguided ideas about over-population.

    1. Exactly. If this was NOT the case, then women would pursue the vast majority of instances in relationships. Even these “equal” women revert back to primal instinct and defer to men over mundane tasks such as the check at dinner.

    2. That’s just silly. The world isn’t overpopulated by ANY stretch of anyone’s imagination. Yes, there are issues with infrastructure and whatnot, but people would be wallowing in filth in a city like Lagos, Nigeria, whether the city had two million residents or 12 million residents…

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  27. Feminist Housewife says:

    From a married woman’s perspective, this list seemed very controlling. Now, I didn’t appreciate the ignorant replies left in the comment section, but I understand where many people were coming from. Pastor Kim makes it appear that marriage leaves no way out for the Christian woman. She must stay in the house at all times, raising multitudes of children and never divorce at the risk of never remarrying.

    This makes an environment where a woman is kept silent, subservient, and east to victimize. It also makes an environment that is impossible to leave. If the man starts harming his wife and children, is she supposed to take all 16 of them outside of the house and find some place to live? Is she supposed to find work to support all of these children? With what job skills?

    I’ve been married for almost twenty years now, and can tell you that both my husband and myself go out all of the time. No, neither of us had been married when we met. I am probably not how you would picture a “Feminist” to be. I am very domestic and proud of it. I love my husband to death and love nothing better than to show my appreciation for him with home-cooked meals.

    However, this is my choice. My husband has not made our home into a prison cell. I can choose to stay in or choose to go out and spend time with the ladies. He understands that I am a responsible adult who sees play as a reward for hard work. He trusts that I am not cheating on him, but playing a few rounds of Bunko and sipping cocktails with friends. Sometimes, he even joins me.

  28. Robin Munn says:

    @Feminist Housewife –

    “This list seemed very controlling …”

    “Pastor Kim makes it appear …”

    You’re citing your own feelings, not anything that Pastor Kim actually said. Please provide specific examples of when he said that Christian women “must stay in the house at all times, raising multitudes of children …”

    I’ll give you a hint: it isn’t his point #9 about career women. What Pastor Kim actually said is, “There is nothing wrong with a woman who works (Acts 16:14), what’s wrong is a woman who puts her career ahead of her family.” That’s far, very far, from your assertion that he said she “must stay in the house at all times.” He’s talking about priorities, and you’re twisting his statements into “she must never leave the house,” which is categorically false.

    So please cite what he actually said, not what you incorrectly feel that he said. Then you can argue against it. As it is now, you’re arguing against a strawman of your own invention.

  29. JK says:

    @Robin Munn
    I will agree with feminist housewife that his list did seem very controlling but it only SEEMED controlling because the bible preaches a very controlling gospel.

    You don’t have to be a bible expert to read, “I do not permit a woman to teach or to exercise authority over a man; rather, she is to remain quiet. For Adam was formed first, then Eve,” (1 Timothy 2:12-13) to understand how controlling that mind set is. To me his list stated that a woman who does something as simple as ask her husband to put the toilet seat down would be a “feminist” action and sinful.

    Another snippet showing the controlling and dominating mentality of his preaching: “Any woman who tries to usurp her husband’s authority or even claims to be a co-leader with her man is gravely dishonoring the God who created her to be subject and obedient to her husband (Eph 5:22, Col 3:18, 1 Pet 3:1).” HE LITERALLY USES THE TERM OBEDIENT. C’mon…

  30. Looking Glass says:


    Ah, projection. Here’s a hint. Obedience is a choice to follow authority. If you’re not a Christian, you have no expectation of Obedience to the Lord. If you are a Christian, you do. And fear for your Soul if you don’t understand that.

  31. Robin Munn says:

    @JK –

    Yes, he literally uses the term obedient. So did the apostle Peter — “For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord.” (1 Peter 3:5-6)

    Now, that’s a very unpopular sentiment these days, as you have shown us by your own reaction to it. Most Western women these days are choosing to say “No, I refuse to play second fiddle,” and ignoring what the Bible says on the subject. But that’s the choice that Lucifer made, and look what it got him.

    I’ll just note in passing that the husbands are told to love their wives “as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her” (Ephesians 5:25), so the “controlling and dominating” mentality you are objecting to is not at all what the Bible is teaching. But many people would rather pretend that the Bible’s teaching is controlling, because it gives them an excuse for rebellion. I can’t stop them from rebelling, nor should I — everyone should be free to follow, or reject, God for themselves. But don’t you be like that. Don’t reject God based on a false understanding of what the Bible really teaches. Look for a while at what Ephesians 5 says to husbands in verses 25 to 31, and see if that fits the “controlling and dominating” mentality you think the Bible is teaching.

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  33. Wizard Prang says:


    And that’s all I have to say about that…

  34. @ Wizard Prang

    The 10 men Christian women shouldn’t marry was the first one posted. If you look at the dates of the responses, there were only about 10-20 comments before the other article went viral.

    No one cared if you had “requirements” for men. But once you have “requirements” for women…

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