Dating and courtship discussion

There is currently a discussion going over at Courtship pledge about what women can do to signal to men they are interested in. Dalrock has also linked over to there. Go participate.

In general, as a single man my experience with leveraging social networks is that it unequivocably works best if a women is going it. I have personally talked to at least 20+ different men, women, and couples about introducing me to single Christian women. Mostly couples as I have found the singles tend to be somewhat more resistant to it give that they have not found someone else yet either. None but two have offered suggestions and followed up on it.

Simply put, I think that men are expected to figure it out for themselves without help much to the detriment of everyone involved. This is in general what is expected with masculinity. The problem with this is that the teaching of masculinity has gone by the wayside and thus many men are left off in the wilderness without any training. Women tend to have more developed social networks with which to leverage plus the fact that women tend to like helping other women find a man. Thus, if anything important in this current atmosphere is to occur, it will probably come through women engaging social networks to match make.

The other main problem I foresee is the general unwillingness of women to engage men they [potentially] like. This is from experience and observation. I’ve seen and met tons of outgoing girls who have no problem to talk to anyone. However, when engaging with a man they may potentially like (not necessarily me) it seems like they have some “shy” switch that gets turned on and they won’t have anything to do with him unless he approaches first. And this may be with only giving extremely subtle indicators of interest, which the average man will have no clue what to distinguish.

I can somewhat pick up most of them now, but that’s with being about 2 years in the manosphere and looking for such things everywhere. In fact, I know I miss tons of them because women have told me after the fact, or if I’m friends with a woman I’m not interested in I will give them advice and they share what they are doing that doesn’t work. Women have this urge to be covert about their intentions, but it is really only harming the chaste ones who wish to get married. The only men who can read such intentions now are mostly those who want to get in their pants on the a first date.

Comments are disabled here. I’m going to post these two over there if you want to comment on them, and join the discussion over there. Check it out as there’s already 100+ posts.

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One Response to Dating and courtship discussion

  1. Pingback: Performance and desire and courtship and dating post script | Reflections on Christianity and the manosphere

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