Destruction of morals and the commodification of romantic love

In the Destruction of morals and the idolization of romantic love, I talked a bit about the commodification of sex.

If sex is created for romance, then it can be increasingly commodified and used as a weapon because it is viable in a more extensive market (outside of marriage). Commodification of sex becomes tied to the capitalism. An increase in prostitution, pornography, attention whoring, sex appeal in the media, and the like only fuels this.

Sex is created for romance. Thus, if a woman feels romance she will have sex. The morality of sex goes out the window.

This is exceptionally bad because one of the major motivating factors that drive men toward marriage is sex. If a man can get sex outside of marriage, there is no reason to “buy the cow when you can get the milk for free.” The vast majority of women attempt to trade “sexual attraction” in return for sex which seems good for them in the short term. However, once these women start to age and see that they cannot get men to commit to them with sex they start to freak out and shame men manifesting by all sorts of projection.

The morality of sex places sex off the table as a bargaining chip which can be commodified or weaponized. Indeed, both men and women have to get married if they want to have sex, and sex in marriage is also tied with commitment and family. I think this is one of the most interesting facets about why God created sex the way He did: to be manifested solely within the confines of marriage.

Note that this parallels the post on Identity Part 6 — performance and desire. Performance is based on exchange: I perform for [God’s] love, or I perform for approval, or I perform to be desired. Performance is based on doing it for something in exchange whether from God, or from man, or for yourself. On the other hand, desire is based on excellence because you want to do it.

Sex outside of the confines of morality to romance is shifted from desire to a performance mindset. In the confines of romance, you always have to be doing something for sex. You need to be sexually attractive enough (alpha), or you have to give commitment (beta bucks), or you exchange it for money (prostitution), or you use it as a weapon to get what you want (manipulation), and other such things.

What you end up with the commodication of sex in general in society is what Rollo notes on his latest post that Wives hate sex. Women utilize sex in order to get men to commit to them for marriage. Once the expectation is set that sex can be commodified it can also be withdrawn once someone gets what they want: once women secure marriage with sex they don’t have to have sex anymore. This commodification places primary importance on looks. Women can only commodify sex to use to secure commitment if they are beautiful enough for men to want to buy what they are selling.

This often comes at the expense and detriment of the beauty and worth of the internal characteristics which is why the Scriptures warn against such:

1 Peter 3:1 In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, 2 as they observe your chaste and [a]respectful behavior. 3 Your adornment must not be merely external—braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses; 4 but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God. 5 For in this way in former times the holy women also, who hoped in God, used to adorn themselves, being submissive to their own husbands; 6 just as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, and you have become her children if you do what is right [b]without being frightened by any fear.

Thus, the commodificaiton of sex leads to a plethora of dysfunctions because it is outside of the confines of morality and thus the blessing of God.

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7 Responses to Destruction of morals and the commodification of romantic love

  1. Jonadab-the-Rechabite says:

    “I perform for [God’s] love, or I perform for approval, or I perform to be desired. Performance is based on doing it for something in exchange whether from God, or from man, or for yourself.”

    This is why covenant is so important. Does a son ask his father, “how many times must I take out the trash to stay your son” or the converse “how many times can I not take out the trash and still be your son”. Both forms of the question are ludicrous, yet this is exactly how many approach God and marriage. What must I do to remain in covenant is not a non-sequitor, but an internal contradiction.

    God is ever faithful to us and since He establishes a covenant with all He has adopted into the household of faith, He will never forsake His elect. One cannot earn their redemption, sinners are are both unable and for the elect it has already been accomplished.

    In similar fashion if a husband must earn sex as Al Mohler has written :”Consider the fact that a woman has every right to expect that her husband will earn access to the marriage bed.” then the covenant is not a covenant but an economic exchange. Sex for an economic exchange is just prostitution. Al Mohler’s blue-pill approach defiles the marriage bed contrary to Hebrews 13:4 (Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; ) and degrades marriage, women and sex.

  2. thedeti says:

    A man “earns access” to the marriage bed when he stands before God, his family, her family and a community, and promises to love, honor and cherish her until one of them is dead.

    THAT is what gives him access to the marriage bed.

    In the same manner, a wife “earns access” to his resources when she stands before God, her family, his family and a community, and promises to love, honor and obey him until one of them is dead.

    If we are going to say that a man must “continually earn access” to the marriage bed, then we must also say that a woman must “continually earn access” to his resources.

    If we are going to say that a man has no right to sex with his wife, then we must also say that a woman has no right to her husband’s resources– his money, time, labor, physical strength, or attention.

    If we are going to say that a wife has the right to withhold sex at any time for any reason, then we must also say that a man has the right to withdraw his resources at any time for any reason.

  3. Don Quixote says:

    The morality of sex places sex off the table as a bargaining chip which can be commodified or weaponized. Indeed, both men and women have to get married if they want to have sex, and sex in marriage is also tied with commitment and family.

    There was, for a long time when this point was well understood by all and sundry. Sadly we have left this so far behind now I often think the only way to return to the plan of God for marriage will be very painful.
    The [nanny] state is heavily invested in controlling the masses, and the destruction of traditional values serves this purpose. The churches offer little guidance on this as they have their own grandiose plans and are also beholden to the largesse of the state, what a mess we are in. Keep blogging.

  4. CHero says:

    This makes it more clear that God designed men and women the way he did to complement each other. When one or both become selfish, we take what was meant to be awesome outta context. :\

  5. Looking Glass says:

    “Pearls before whine” comes to mind. Which is, as always, a problem.

    Great post. So many things go badly wrong when you step outside of God’s Design. Adam & Eve found this out the hardest of all.

  6. Pingback: The chain of corruption | Reflections on Christianity and the manosphere

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