Half of women marry the best sex of their lives

So this is from an older article in the NY post (h/t deti) although the data is from an iVillage 2000 woman survey in 2012. 60/40 married with children versus no children.

This goes against the premise of every single romance novel, but you’re not going to marry the best sex of your life. At least, not if you’re like most women.

According to a recent study by iVillage, less than half of wedded women married the person who was the best sex of their lives (52 percent say that was an ex.) In fact, 66 percent would rather read a book, watch a movie or take a nap than sleep with a spouse.

Amanda Chatel, a 33-year-old writer from the East Village, says, “With the men I’ve loved, the sex has been good, sometimes great, but never ‘best.’ It’s resulted in many orgasms and was fun but, comparatively speaking, it didn’t have that intensity that comes with the ‘best’ sex.

“I knew [my best sex partner] was temporary, and so the great sex was the best because the sex was the relationship,” she adds. “We didn’t have to invest in anything else.”

Obviously, taking into account my post on Understanding population models and using them to vet correctly we can assume that there are definitely confounding factors. However, since this is an online anonymous survey it’s unlikely that women would lie about this. They do not have an incentive like say decrease their partner count, and it’s widespread mainstream knowledge that “sex tapers off in marriage anyway.” Hence, there is likely to be a lot of truthful answers.

The scariest part is not just that women did not marry the best sex of their lives, it’s also that 2/3 of women would rather read a book, watch a movie, or sleep than have sex with their spouse. Obviously, the scary part about that is that attraction is generally the motivator for sex, so that means that 2/3 of women are not attracted enough to their spouses to want to have sex with them over books, movies, and sleep. That’s disturbing to say the least.

This also means that the majority of the population of women are likely “settling” when they marry rather than marrying someone they are actually attracted to. Now, you could argue that a woman was attracted when she married and then she nagged him or he got lazy. Those would definitely be factors that could influence this, but it also shows the state of the marriage population as it exists in time now. I wouldn’t be surprised if in those 3 years from 2012 to 2015 it has gotten worse.

This also lends credence to the numbers that divorces are 70% initiated by women with maybe more because sometimes women pressure men to file so they come out looking better (“he filed the divorce not me”). Also, as always be aware of marrying non-virgins.

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8 Responses to Half of women marry the best sex of their lives

  1. Pingback: Half of women marry the best sex of their lives | Manosphere.com

  2. Two-thirds of wives are not attracted to their spouses, yet when was the last time that you heard a sermon on women cultivating desire for their husbands? I have heard many times the sentiment of Al Mohler, that a husband must “earn the access to the bed”, that most odious teaching makes a wife a prostitute who is constantly haggling over her price. This desire problem is a cancer that is destroying marriage. Yet in spite of this, women are emboldened to withhold sex from their “undeserving” husbands; in essence they are taught to control their husband’s sexual desire rather than foster their own desire for their husband.

    Men cannot be intoxicated with their wife’s love (pr 5:19) when she offers him none. Men being protective of their wives, do not desire to force sex on a wife who does not desire his love, so not wanting to be a rapist he suffers from her frigid desire and rejection. Many will find an outlet for their sexual drive and an escape from the pain of rejection in fantasy and porn. But the same pastors who are strengthening the wife’s defrauding are shaming his sexuality. They constantly preach “porn is of the devil”, but also are quick to instruct wives that they don’t have to have sex with their husbands if he has not demonstrated himself loving enough by making the wife feel like having sex. These feelings are the approved currency to traded according to the teachings of the evangelical prostitute-wife model. They teach both “men bad, woman good” and if she is sinning by defrauding it is his fault for not offering enough of the currency of feelings; he is culpable for his sins and he is culpable for her sins.

    The solution to his lust problem according to 1 Cor 7 is to have a robust sex life with one’s spouse, but so often in modern Christianity, the wife has broken the covenant by defrauding her husband of the one thing he can only legally get from her. Every other need can be obtained from other means, but he is dependent on his wife alone for sexual companionship. Meanwhile the church just stands back and and emboldens wives to castrate her man and seize his authority. Even if she had better tingles before marriage, it must be taught that she is responsible to cultivate and foster passion for her husband. The church should be teaching that is sin if a wife fails to actively and intentionally stir up sexual desire for her husband.

    “Proverbs 5:19 Let her breasts satisfy you at all times; And always be enraptured with her love.”

    Song of Solomon 8:13-14 THE SHULAMITE :Make haste, my beloved, And be like a gazelle Or a young stag On the mountains of spices.

    1 Corinthians 7:3-5 Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife. Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency. (Incontinency is not shamed like so many do today, but channeled as a force for oneness)

    1 Corinthians 7:9-10 for it is better to marry than to burn. And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband: (including to not sexually depart IMHO).

  3. Coastal says:

    I’ve always found it strange how Christian culture (in general) tends to look down on folks that use sexual history as a dealbreaker for a potential spouse, when there’s so much practical and biblical evidence pointing to the consequences of sex outside of marriage. Comparisons, lessened pair bonding, etc.; more and more I can see why God clearly intended sex to be for one man and one woman. Anything else and it starts to spiral out of control…

  4. Spike says:

    Deep Strength:
    Thanks for bringing up this topic for discussion.
    The tragedy of this is that we as a whole are immersed in the post-Sex Revolution culture. To us all, the practice of sex before marriage is normal, while the Christian view is quaint at best, harmful and weird at worst.
    What is tragic is that two sets of books operate. In one, Men are told to work hard, improve themselves physically, intellectually, educationally and to prepare for marriage.
    Women are told to get an education and a career, and to actively put off marriage. Meanwhile it is heavily implied that they can have safe sex with exciting men, known crudely as the “cock carousel” (apologies). This will go on for a decade, from mid-teens to at least mid twenties if not more. By that time, her ability to bond is ruined. The husband who has entered into marriage far less sexually experienced than her (remember – he has spent his life working to improve himself diligently and isn’t one of the exciting men – exciting men are not marriage material). He will find himself shackled to a wife who is sexually frigid toward him. Marriage laws will entrap him as the State will allow the wife to hold his children to ransom by giving them to her in divorce.
    What can be done about this horrible situation? Noting in the secular word, as there seems little or no stomach to roll back no-fault divorce. In the Christian world however, Christian Pastors can insist on Biblical standards, those Jesus outlined, those reiterated by the Apostle Paul. He will need to aim his talks at women, who need to treat Jesus as Lord, not “boyfriend”.
    Anthropologist Daniel Amneus in his book “The Case For Father Custody” noted that the husband/father bond in the family is the weakest bond because it is social (man-made) not biological. It should therefore be strengthened by law because it is the bond that causes civilization to happen and to be inherited. The Western World is crying out desperatey for Pastors to articulate this.

  5. Psalm1Wife says:

    When I read the title, I was hoping that it was because half of women marry the ONLY sex partner of their lives…but I was in the wrong century, sorry.

    I don’t remember if Ive ever commented here but I have been reading for 1-2 years and enjoy all posts.

  6. Pingback: A wife’s plea to Christian men about their sexual sinning | Christianity and the manosphere

  7. Pingback: FOREVER NEEDING A NEW MAN | Spawny's Space

  8. Pingback: A man’s take on potentially dating or marrying a woman with a past | Christianity and masculinity

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