So this is from an older article in the NY post (h/t deti) although the data is from an iVillage 2000 woman survey in 2012. 60/40 married with children versus no children.
This goes against the premise of every single romance novel, but you’re not going to marry the best sex of your life. At least, not if you’re like most women.
According to a recent study by iVillage, less than half of wedded women married the person who was the best sex of their lives (52 percent say that was an ex.) In fact, 66 percent would rather read a book, watch a movie or take a nap than sleep with a spouse.
Amanda Chatel, a 33-year-old writer from the East Village, says, “With the men I’ve loved, the sex has been good, sometimes great, but never ‘best.’ It’s resulted in many orgasms and was fun but, comparatively speaking, it didn’t have that intensity that comes with the ‘best’ sex.
“I knew [my best sex partner] was temporary, and so the great sex was the best because the sex was the relationship,” she adds. “We didn’t have to invest in anything else.”
Obviously, taking into account my post on Understanding population models and using them to vet correctly we can assume that there are definitely confounding factors. However, since this is an online anonymous survey it’s unlikely that women would lie about this. They do not have an incentive like say decrease their partner count, and it’s widespread mainstream knowledge that “sex tapers off in marriage anyway.” Hence, there is likely to be a lot of truthful answers.
The scariest part is not just that women did not marry the best sex of their lives, it’s also that 2/3 of women would rather read a book, watch a movie, or sleep than have sex with their spouse. Obviously, the scary part about that is that attraction is generally the motivator for sex, so that means that 2/3 of women are not attracted enough to their spouses to want to have sex with them over books, movies, and sleep. That’s disturbing to say the least.
This also means that the majority of the population of women are likely “settling” when they marry rather than marrying someone they are actually attracted to. Now, you could argue that a woman was attracted when she married and then she nagged him or he got lazy. Those would definitely be factors that could influence this, but it also shows the state of the marriage population as it exists in time now. I wouldn’t be surprised if in those 3 years from 2012 to 2015 it has gotten worse.
This also lends credence to the numbers that divorces are 70% initiated by women with maybe more because sometimes women pressure men to file so they come out looking better (“he filed the divorce not me”). Also, as always be aware of marrying non-virgins.