Engagement rings

Since I’m on the topic of finding a godly wife, I’m going to comment on this topic as well.

If you are going to get married… then go with a ruby engagement ring.

Proverbs 31 — Description of a Worthy Woman

10 [b]A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.
11 Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
12 She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.

Benefits:

  • It’s grounded to Scriptures.
  • Her friends will ask about it, and she can tell them it’s from the Scriptures.
  • This can be an effective witnessing tool to non-Christian women who ask about why she has a ruby engagement ring.
  • You come out looking like a godly man. Which you are and continue to strive to be.
  • Keeps both of your eyes on God and His Scriptures every time you look at it.
  • It affirms your wife’s character and reminds her of it.
  • It affirms your wife’s duty to bring you good and not harm all the days of your life.
  • It affirms that you will have full confidence in her as a godly woman.
  • Diamonds are a scam. See: 1930s marketing campaign that basically went viral into a massive business inflating prices.

This is the gemstone I will use.

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18 Responses to Engagement rings

  1. Pingback: A detailed timeline and how to guide on the process of finding a wife | Reflections on Christianity and the manosphere

  2. Pingback: Engagement rings | Manosphere.com

  3. donalgraeme says:

    I’ve been opposed to a diamond engagement ring set in gold for a long time. Always thought that silver was a better color choice for engagement. You can upgrade to gold when you marry. Hadn’t considered ruby though- like the Scriptural basis for it.

    Question though- is that word known for sure to be ruby, or presumed as much, in the OT? I know that there are some words whose meaning is guessed at. And I’ve seen other translations than ruby there.

  4. @ Donal

    Question though- is that word known for sure to be ruby, or presumed as much, in the OT? I know that there are some words whose meaning is guessed at. And I’ve seen other translations than ruby there.

    Yeah, I’ve seen “jewel” and other things there as well:

    H6443 — pânı̂yn pânı̂y — paw-neen’, paw-nee’

    From the same as H6434; probably a pearl (as round): – ruby. Total KJV occurrences: 6

    It’s probably a pearl or ruby. I’m going with ruby as it’s a more obscure gemstone, and a bunch of translations actually use it in Prov 31.

    While pearls are more common and probably cost less, the woman I marry will be a ‘worthy woman’ so to speak and that is indeed rare now. I want to emphasize that.

  5. Looking Glass says:

    Diamonds are something for bracelets or dog collars. This isn’t a joke. Something like only 25% of the current supply is ever on the market. The functional price of a diamond should be 80% or lower than it goes for now. So I’ve long been one for not going the diamond route.

    Ruby is a good choice. It serves it’s functional role (a nice big “she’s taken” sign) in a manner that doesn’t conform to the World (quite Godly, that), yet still also serves part of its function for why Women really want them (social standing). It hits a nice sweet spot.

    As for the translation, it’s not really just a translation issue. The type and quality of available precious gemstones has changed over the ages quite a lot. Deeper mining techniques do that. So the translation would come in parts: what the Greek & Latin translations of the Hebrew would view it as, placed within a similar gemstone in the culture. So it’s been “ruby” for 400 years in English, even if what was understand as a Ruby has changed slightly.

    It reminds me a bit about a discussion of “The Word of the Lord is like a double-edged Machete”. In tribal cultures without a history of metalwork, the concept of a “sword” is pretty much non-existent. But they get what a Machete is, so that’s how they’ve translated “sword” a lot in the last 50 years.

  6. ChildofRa says:

    What if the girl is not really one who likes jewels?

  7. jack says:

    might as a well buy a gemstone, since you’re getting a millstone out of the deal

  8. shadowofashade says:

    I was actually considering tanzanite if I got engaged (it is only mined in one place in the world) , but your suggestion and reasoning has a lot of merit, DS.

  9. feeriker says:

    What if the girl is not really one who likes jewels?

    Since interstellar travel is decades, if not centuries, in the future, human-alien intermarriage isn’t an issue. Thus your hypothetical question is irrelevant; NO human female does not like –and thus does not expect or demand– jewels as part of the engagement and wedding ritual.

  10. Wizard Prang says:

    Good thoughts, but it must be said that any girl who makes that much of a fuss over an engagement ring is not worth marrying.

    When we got engaged, the ring cost maybe two hundred pounds. She was just happy that she *had* a ring. It just wasn’t that big a deal to her.

    Three decades later she has a custom-made platinum ring that incorporates stones (yes, diamonds) from previous pieces of jewelry. None of her friends know that it is worth as much as a medium-sized family car. That’s just the kind of girl she is. It just isn’t that big a deal to her.

    My baby don’t care much for jewelry… my baby just cares for me..!

  11. Feminine But Not Feminist says:

    my baby just cares for me..!

    Yes, this. If a woman makes a fuss over having a shiny diamond, then she is more interested in the bling and status of getting one than she is in the man himself. But if she really wants the man himself and cares for him, she will be thrilled to just get to be married to *him*, regardless of the engagement ring, and regardless of whether she even gets one or not. Tell a woman that she won’t get a diamond engagement ring, and her reaction will tell you a lot about where her desire really is.

    Nevertheless, the idea of using rubies instead of diamonds because of the quoted Scripture verse is indeed a clever one. I would also recommend making a point of telling her about what it stands for when you give it to her (if not before, to guage her reaction like I mentioned above), that way she will have a clever answer to all the annoying naysayers that she will be dealing with (and believe me, she will be dealing with them), who think she should’ve gotten a diamond instead. A good and clever answer should be enough to shut at least some of them up.

  12. hearthie says:

    My engagement ring was my birthstone, with two itsy diamonds as accents. I was over the moon to be getting married and subjected many passing acquaintances to having it waved madly at them. My *wedding* ring has a diamond in it, pre-end-of-apartheid, and I was gobsmacked that DH got it for me. The engagement ring is rather delicate, so when we got to our 10th, I got an anniversary band, which is what I wear… and that and my wedding ring will be passed down to the children, but I’ve asked to be buried in my engagement ring. Have to agree – all us girls like to have something to show, but if she’s uptight about having *exactly the right show*, there is something wrong there.

    PS Pearls, classically, are not used as wedding/engagement jewelry both because they are more delicate than cut stones and because pearls represent the sea, and its inconstant nature. You don’t want to be plunging your pearls into soapy water and all the things that we plunge our hands into on the daily*. They make better earrings, necklaces, and cocktail rings.

    *Like most women, I take my rings off very seldom – for making hamburger, bread, swimming (I don’t want to lose them or damage the gold) and other serious messiness. Changing diapers, washing my hands, etc, etc, etc… they stay on. Waking and sleeping. This is something to consider when thinking about the materials and shape of your permanent jewelry.

  13. Elspeth says:

    My engagement ring was my birthstone

    Mine too, Hearth! A ruby, :). Actually it was a gift given to me a few months prior and I just slipped it from my right finger to left when we got engaged. So it really wasn’t an official engagement ring.

  14. Feminine But Not Feminist says:

    My engagement ring was my birthstone, with two itsy diamonds as accents.

    Mine too, Hearth! A ruby, 🙂

    Heh, my birthstone is a diamond! I guess the *birthstone rather than a diamond* idea would work for anyone except for those proposing to someone born in April… 😛 lol

  15. KMan says:

    For a while now I’ve been thinking of going with simply no engagement ring if that situation ever arises. I will simply ask her to marry me. No ring, no kneeling, etc. Engagement should be relatively short and I just don’t see the point of having a special ring for ~6 months before putting on a wedding ring which she will then I trust wear until death parts us.

    That said I do like your idea of putting something on the ring to remind you of Biblical principles and create a talking point. In my case, I have been thinking of getting a cross on both wedding rings either cut, embossed or inlaid with gemstone.

  16. @ Looking Glass

    That is very true. Certain cultures do not have the words to describe certain phenomena so translators go with the “best fit” rather than what may be be more “culturally accurate” because there is no direct equivalent.

  17. @ Wizard Prang

    Yep, it’s definitely a test to see where a woman’s priorities lie much like if she wants to be a bridezilla as well.

  18. @ KMan

    I considered going with no ring too. However, as many selection criteria that we all have (and it’s really required nowadays to find an actual godly wife), it makes it even less likely you’re actually going to find a woman who will forgo one even though it’s not necessarily Biblical or unBiblical to not do one. Hence, my eventual decision to tie it to the Bible, so that at the very least it’s cool, will remind my (future) wife of her commitment(s), and be a good witnessing tool too.

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