The sexes have dramatically different mate preferences

Genders Differ Dramatically in Evolved Mate Preferences (h/t TRP)

AUSTIN, Texas — Men’s and women’s ideas of the perfect mate differ significantly due to evolutionary pressures, according to a cross-cultural study on multiple mate preferences by psychologists at The University of Texas at Austin.

The study of 4,764 men and 5,389 women in 33 countries and 37 cultures showed that sex differences in mate preferences are much larger than previously appreciated and stable across cultures.

“Many want to believe that women and men are identical in their underlying psychology, but the genders differ strikingly in their evolved mate preferences in some domains,” said co-author of the study and psychology professor David Buss. “The same holds true in highly sexually egalitarian cultures such as Sweden and Norway as in less egalitarian cultures such as Iran.”

Surprise surprise. The sexes were created/evolved differently.

Researchers found that they could predict a person’s sex with 92.2 percent accuracy if they knew his or her mate preferences.

Pretty good.

Of the 19 mate preferences that researchers considered, five varied significantly based on gender: good financial prospects, physical attractiveness, chastity, ambition and age. Four other preferences — pleasing disposition, sociability and shared religious and political views — were not sex-differentiated.

Let me guess.

  • Men’s preferences — physical attractiveness, chastity, age
  • Women’s preferences — good financial prospects and ambition
  • Combined — pleasing disposition, sociability, shared religious and political views.

Men like young and hot virgin women, and women like ambitious, rich men. I’m just amused how this is demonized as politically incorrect information. Aside from examining the supposed ideological motivations of each sex: what do men typically go after and what do women typically go after? The answer is obvious.

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12 Responses to The sexes have dramatically different mate preferences

  1. Pingback: The sexes have dramatically different mate preferences |

  2. Looking Glass says:

    In other, breaking news:

    Room temperature Water is wet.
    The Sun rises in the East.
    Gravity still works.
    And fire still burns.


  3. KingProphetPriest says:

    Awhile back, my wife and I were out of state and we visited a church in the town where we were staying. The pastor and his wife had a large difference in their ages and my wife later commented on it when we continued our trip. She said it was gross.

    Well, I stepped right into that one. Should have given her an amused smile and said, “Every man wants an attractive wife,” and left the age issue alone. Instead, I made some comment about a 70 year old Hollywood star who married a 26 year old. Then when she said that was disgusting and I tried to logically address why it wasn’t and it ended up with her going nuclear, calling me juvenile and brooding for the next day or so.

    So what triggers something like this?
    – A “dirty old man” vibe from guys who like younger women?
    – Insecurity that her own 50+ year old body ain’t ever going to be what it once was?
    – Concern that her husband still views younger women as attractive, making them a threat?
    – A revelation that my wife thinks old men are gross (which should concern me, as I age)?
    – A disdain for gold-digging young women who wouldn’t want these men for other than their money or power?

    I can honestly say that I don’t know. The issue of younger women marrying older men has come up as we prepare to look for a husband for my daughter (yes, she – and we – consider this a family activity). My wife has baited me a bit, but I’ve refused to bite to the extent of letting an argument start.

    These issues surrounding attraction are indeed politically incorrect, even among Christians. I’ve talked to my teens about sexual market value, though my wife would object to framing it that way. SMV for Christians is basically, “Be attractive, don’t be unattractive.” combined with a little “Use what you’ve got to best effect.” and “Know what you bring to the table, and have something worth bringing.” Of course, we’re directing this towards finding suitable marriage partners, not hookups, so what you bring to the table isn’t solely how good you look and the strength of your personality.

    As far as that study goes – I wonder what the grant proposal looked like? “We want to determine what people find attractive in the opposite sex. No one has ever done this before. It will be groundbreaking!” Years later, the results come out to a thundering, “Yeah, everybody knows that.”

  4. Looking Glass says:


    If you have a daughter approaching Marriage Age, then your Wife is both feeling the rise of jealousy and fear for her own place. She was projecting her own insecurities upon the Pastor & his wife.

    Remember, Women respond to their environment constantly. If you’re in an environment looking for a Husband, she’s going to shift into that environment and the temptation rises. It’s no different than if there was another Woman in your social circle starting a Divorce. If there was, she’d suddenly start focusing on all of your negative points.

    Your response, firstly, didn’t catch that she would only bring up the topic if it was on her “Emotional Radar”. (Granted, Women can switch between “normal” and “emotional” conversations between words.) So you simply approached it as a normal issue, which it wasn’t. In a situation like that, maybe the best approach is “We should praise the Lord that I have no desire for a new Wife. I quite love the one he gave me.” Or something to that effect. It really cuts right to the heart of the matter.

    She might have still erupted, but then you shut that down immediately. Many things are simply unacceptable.

  5. @ KingProphetPriest

    Remember that women almost always react in a way where it relates to them. Hence, solipsism. What she is actually saying is:

    She said it was gross [if it was her in that situation].

    I’m sure we’ve all met plenty of women who are fine with a big age difference and some who only want to marry someone their age…. until they are attracted to a man much older than them then that goes out the window. Or she doesn’t like a certain type of man who is not her type… until she meets one that is like that but is attracted to him. Basically, since she probably has never really experienced attraction in that way she doesn’t understand it. Thus, she goes back to her original bias of not liking it.

    I suppose the closest analogy you might have is if she went to college and had a crush on an older professor. If you wanted to explain it like that they she MIGHT get it.

    However it’s not worth arguing about if she doesn’t. Women tend to have a hard time conceptualizing situations they’ve never been in. Ask any women if they have thought about what to do if a robber attacks their home and they’ll give you a blank stare. Almost every man would’ve thought about this type of scenario before.

  6. Looking Glass says:


    I have multiple weapons, stored in multiple places in the house. It’s just prudent. 🙂

  7. Feminine But Not Feminist says:

    I think DS’s most recent comment pretty well explains it. Apart from perhaps this part:

    Ask any women if they have thought about what to do if a robber attacks their home and they’ll give you a blank stare.

    Heh… 🙂

    If married and hubby is home: run to him (or wake him up if it’s in the middle of the night) and do whatever he says.

    If single or hubby isn’t home at the time: If possible, get outside without being noticed and call 911. If that’s not possible to do without being noticed, grab cell phone and make sure it’s on “silent”, slip under the bed and get against the wall, don’t make a sound and try very hard to control breathing so it’s not too loud, and text like crazy for help for someone to call 911 on your behalf (since it couldn’t be done yourself without the robber hearing and then finding you).

    If there are kids in the house and hubby isn’t home: Again, if it’s possible to get all of you out of the house unnoticed, do so. If not, hide the kids in the deepest room in the house and order them to stay put and keep quiet, no matter what. If one of them is old enough to be able to use a cell phone, have him/her text for help like mentioned above. If they’re all too little, attempt to do so yourself after getting into position. If there’s a gun or another weapon handy, get it, and make sure you’re between where the robbers are and where the kids are hiding. Lock the door to the room you’re all hiding in, just in case the robbers get that far. If they break into that room, don’t hesitate to use the gun if they aren’t scared off by the mere sight of you pointing it right at them.

  8. KingProphetPriest says:

    Deep Strength said: “Remember that women almost always react in a way where it relates to them. Hence, solipsism. What she is actually saying is: She said it was gross [if it was her in that situation].”

    Ah, great reminder. I may need to make it into something like that fortune cookie game where you add “in bed” to the end of every fortune cookie fortune. Just add [if it was her in that situation] to opinions or commentary. I will do my utmost not to say it out loud.

    Believe me, I have learned quite a bit over the last few years. We had the exact same issues and arguments for 20+ years. I begged, I pleaded, I bought marriage books and DVDs, I threatened, we had multiple rounds of marriage counseling. I tried the silent treatment (“If she just wants a roommate, I’ll give her one,”) I tried everything I could think of and then some.

    Then I found out that I’d been lied to. By my culture, by my schools, by my parents, by the church. Maybe not maliciously in every case, but a lie is a lie. That feeling that you wasted 20+ years of your life trying to make a wife happy using methods that will never make a woman happy? I was a little bit bitter, y’know?

    Thankfully, I’m a “might as well get on with it” kind of guy and after going through a grieving process of sorts, I started changing things. Found places like this. Blah, blah, blah; I know my story is far from unique.

    While I’m still not always sure of the mechanics of things, my position is much stronger as a man, a husband, and a father. I can reel my wife back in. I don’t fall into the traps much anymore and most of all, I don’t sabotage myself. My wife turns to me for guidance, she shows me respect, I handle the things that are rightfully mine to handle (which I had let her handle before). She’s even begun to see her friends in the same light that I do and distancing herself from the poor ones (not taking the credit here, this is clearly a God’s guidance issue for here).

    Still much to do, but this woman I married is slowly being remade. I will not take the credit for it, but I will be thankful for the changes in myself that are making the path to transformation possible. She is happier (which is really something!) and getting to this place was far easier than I expected.

  9. donalgraeme says:

    @ KPP

    Glad to hear that things are getting better in your marriage. Always nice to hear stories like that.

  10. donalgraeme says:

    As for the OP… fancy that….

  11. @ KingProphetPriest

    I would imagine that it’s much harder to change when you are older, especially if you have tons of the issues just bombarded into you from the overt or inadvertent lies from church, family, and the like.

    For me the process was much less painful mostly because I already had an inkling of understanding that something was wrong but I couldn’t pinpoint it. If it just blindsides you when you figure it out then it’s quite bitter.

    Yep, it’s definitely a journey. Mistakes are made. The problem really isn’t that mistakes are made but finding a woman that knows that mistakes are part of the process and won’t get bent out of shape when they happen.

    Glad to hear things are better.

  12. Pingback: You may marry someone you’re not initially attracted to | Christianity and masculinity

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