In general, what is spoken about most in Christianity today is that promiscuity before marriage is sinful. However, as Ballista’s series has been explaining, there is much legalism that has pervaded the “courtship” phenomena including purity culture.
As it bears repeating in the comments of the above thread, we know this for a fact:
- Before marriage: Promiscuity is sinful (1 Cor 6, 1 Cor 7, 1Thess 4, Eph 5, Heb 13, etc.)
- After marriage: Frigidity is sinful (1 Cor 7, Exodus 21)
Both sins wreak destructive effects in their various spheres. However, promiscuity has more overly damaging effects.
In Biblical Jewish culture sex was a woman’s right because of pleasure and of the ability to bear children. You can tell the general heart state of a woman in if she wants or doesn’t want children. Probably also why Paul also states women are saved in childbearing in 1 Tim 2.
Now, very little in general has been written about how to make a successful transition from singleness to marriage in terms of sex. Most people assume that since people have a sex drive and they want to get married that it automatically occurs. However, given the amount of frigid marriages and lack of basic knowledge about sex drives (including the male sex drive), there is a lot of dysfunction where there should not be. A large part of this is due to lack of knowledge and the timidity of the Church and parents to discuss sexuality with their children.
We know the male and female sex drives are not sinful. I’ve written about discussing sexuality and virginity with a potential spouse prior to marriage and also ways of bringing it up in the detailed timeline and how-to guide to finding a wife. However, this is not all there is.
Thus, my question to my readers is:
How can the Church, family, friends, and the two potential spouses interact in communication and beyond in order to ensure a successful transition from chastity in singleness to a healthy expectation sex life in marriage?
This is an important question that the Church has shied away from too long. Hence, we should engage it.