ChildofRa writes on a wife’s plea to Christian men about their sexual sinning.
I’m going to address this separately as it’s non-sequitur. Women always like to write “what about men” or “men did this” when women are criticized. Really, this is the last time I’m going to say it but stay on topic. If you have a separate issue that you want me to address send it to my e-mail on the about page or post the topic in the comments section there.
I had a friend, she kept herself physically fit and attractive and had no issues in the bedroom but that didnt stop her christian husband from cheating on her.
First, let me note the framing of the question in the context of the other post.
- The post was about a certain topic namely that wife’s issue with men’s sexual sinning.
- Throughout that post I debunk the fact that they’re asking the wrong question, and advising the wrong thing Biblically the entire time. Scripture tells wives and husbands to have sex in order to minimize sexual temptation.
- When women disagree or find an exception they inevitably attempt to paint women in a flawless light. They are the victim of the situation.
- Hence, “[my friend did what you said — stayed physically attractive and didn’t deny sex — but her husband cheated on her!]”
- This is almost invariably the narrative that women use. Women can’t admit fault or be faulted for anything. They need to preserve their image and status.
- Men need to be exposed to this to see this fallacy of man blaming and women self victimization.
- This leads to another interesting conclusion: Modern women — even Christian women — seem to have bigger pride issues than men because they can’t admit fault.
No one should try to paint themselves as blameless. The only blameless ones are when horrible things happen to children who are abused or if you’re living in a worn torn country and get raped or murdered. These people had NO CHOICE.
If you have some semblance of choice then you almost invariably are responsible for a situation in some manner or another. Take responsibility for your choices.
Wolves in sheep’s clothing
Moving away from that, the big issue that attractive Christian women have to look for is players. There are players disguised as Christian husbands. Players know how women work, and know how to push buttons to make themselves look attractive to women.
Although most Christian men are generally unattractive nowadays, the “Christian attractive men” are split between wolf in sheeps clothing players and actual Christian men. Indeed, some Christian women don’t even go that far: they actually missionary date and marry instead of marrying a Christian man.
This is not unlike attractive women that come to the Church that don’t disclose their past that rode the “cock carousel.” A Christian man wifes her up thinking it’s great he got married to an attractive Christian woman and then she divorces him down the road because she was unhappy. Or maybe even worse yet he gets stuck in a sexless marriage which feels like hell.
This is the importance of vetting your spouse thoroughly. Ask them questions about their past and their choices. Look at their body language to see if they are uncomfortable and shift in answering questions. People do lie so it’s important to look at things in the context of their words versus what their actions are and what they portray in an online profile such as facebook. Ask the hard questions about sexuality and virginity.
John 14:15 “If you love me, you will keep my commandments.”
John 15:10 “If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commandments and abide in his love.”
Claiming you are a Christian does not make you a Christian. Christians are defined by their obedience to Christ.
In general, there are all sorts of yellow and red flags that you can pick up. When I vet Christian women I look for signs of feminist infiltration into their thinking. Blaming men for things. Presenting themselves as the victim. Looking for respect rather than love. Preference for education and careerism over marriage and family. A strong independent attitude. And many other things. Although such a Christian woman may be attractive, she has not excised things of the world from her attitude and thus I can avoid her as a risky encounter when pursuing marriage.
As a man who has come into his own by being masculine and bold there has been much more interest from women. I am extremely selective and vet thorough not solely because I have the opportunity to do so, but because it is important to look at the character of the women who are interested.
Unattractive people tend to have more problems getting married than attractive people. However, the fact that attractive people get married doesn’t make it successful. They may have gotten married to ill advised attractive people.
ChildofRa’s friend in all likelihood married someone ill advised likely because she didn’t vet him thoroughly for being a player. Likewise, we would say that a man who married a reformed cock carousel rider or single mother made an ill advised judgment to marry. You made a poor choice, and the person didn’t change their ways and then played you for a fool.
No one blames the Nigerian prince because they know the prince is a scammer by nature. They blame you for giving your money to the so-called Nigerian prince. Then they laugh at your stupidity for not asking or listening to wise counsel and checking more thoroughly.
Sometimes the fault is up front. You made a commitment to a poor choice. Now you are reaping the consequences of that poor decision. Take responsibility for it.