Barking up the wrong tree

Yesterday I commented on wolves in sheep’s clothing. This led into some very unamusing commentary which eventually devolved into this unmasking feminism post supposedly claiming how nutty the manosphere has gotten.

“Child of Ra” mentioned just a one sentence comment about a friend who kept herself in good shape, was pleasing in the bedroom, but still her husband cheated. Even with such little detail, it sounds like she did everything the red pill women would advise, but still he cheated. Deep Strength said ultimately it is the friend’s fault because she didn’t vet her husband well enough and suss out that he was a “player”. She made a poor commitment choice and now has to take responsibility for it. Basically, suck it up!

If there was anymore information we could go on there may have been more direct advice. But in the absence of that…

Yep, suck it up. Like I said, men and women need to both suck it up that they make poor decisions. I said the same thing about men who marry post-wall single mothers. They’re cruising for a bruising. Both women and men can and do marry attractive people who have crap for character. Like I said, this is the strong importance of vetting which I’ve written on at least 5 different times. Some men and women have crappy character. Vet for it. If you don’t know how read the blog posts and ask again.

Ah, yes, but it’s much too juicy to ignore I said those things too.

This is a question I have wondered too as I have seen various comment threads, but I knew if I asked it I would get treated in the same manner as Ra.  When we date, we market ourselves, we do put on our best front. Once commitment is secured both men and women let themselves go or are so incredibly comfortable knowing this person “vowed” to stay with them forever, they then become their true selves. In this case maybe its the “player” self. Maybe he thinks, “hey she promised she would never leave me, what do I have to lose”. As romantic as vows are, they can also breed complacency of ones responsibilities to maintain a solid, thriving marriage. I no doubt imagine a lot of women think they can just get fat and he won’t leave. She thinks, “after all he did make a vow and if tries to leave me because of my weight well then I’ll just take him for all he is worth”!  The manosphere should know this well. How women will put on that mask, cause she is getting to 30, wants babies and her time is running out. She puts on a good show for a man, then once she has her babies, the nagging, bitch comes out. How is a man suppose to know with all the vetting in the world that this would happen?

I recommend a timeline of about 6-12 months for dating and 3-6 months for engagement. Most Churches you will go to recommend longer. Unless you aren’t looking there’s no way you go 9-18+ months with someone with them faking the entire time.

Let me recommend that you don’t put on a front for who you are. Putting on a front is false. It’s a lie. This is the importance of identity in Christ. You don’t have to put on a front for people. Of course, that’s just common sense to me, but maybe it’s not to other people.

And yet, we are not yet to the juiciest part of all. Who doesn’t like juicy?

Ra then asks this:

What if the wife is the one begging for sex?

And this is where the men lose it. Again, another innocent question, but the manosphere is so convinced this can NEVER happen, she gets a response like this:


What if the wife is the one begging for sex?

You know, I started typing up an answer to this but then realized that ChildofRa’s responses are just distractions, not real questions. She hasn’t addressed the position that DS put out there, just more hamstering.

Sorry, not going to waste my time.

To ask such a question is just so silly, in that it can never happen, clearly its just a distraction and not even worth a response. No doubt any woman who claims to be going through that will be called a liar. Men want sex ALL the time!!! That is the message drilled into everyone, even the enlightened red pillers who are suppose to be awoken to truth.

Then this:


That ChildofRa would seek to divert the argument on this point is telling. That 66% of women would rather read a book thatn have sex is not generally accepted by men. I guess if I were a woman, I wouldn’t want it out that two thirds of them are sexually numb. It does make the product a tough sell.

So, by Ra bringing up the question “what if the wife is the one begging for sex”, they think this is all some grand scheme to distract men from the real issue at hand–frigid wives–because of course frigid men never, ever exist.

To date, the thread ends with Ra saying:

Its not a distraction, i am asking a serious question. What if the female is the one begging for sex?

I’m sorry if you think that I am trying to distract you but everything that I ask or say about marriage and sex in marriage comes from watching documentaries or from what my friends who are married tell me. I am not married nor have I engaged in any sexual activity so I am sooo freaking sorry that I am asking questions which you refused to want to answer for whatever reason or assume because I am female that I am trying to distract you poor men from the real teuth and sinful behavior of women. I am soo fucking sorry

Ra Ra! Chid of Ra! Good for You!  In key with this post, where I mention men really don’t want the submissive, young virgin woman eager to learn, this is a perfect example. Think of it–Ra–24 year old virgin, a beautiful rarity in this culture, and something the men online all pine for and this is how she gets treated.


This is the part that makes me laugh the most. Women have very poor reading comprehension when they’re emotional. I specifically said in the top part of my post which apparently was glossed over entirely:

“ChildofRa writes on a wife’s plea to Christian men about their sexual sinning.

I’m going to address this separately as it’s non-sequitur. Women always like to write “what about men” or “men did this” when women are criticized. Really, this is the last time I’m going to say it but stay on topic. If you have a separate issue that you want me to address send it to my e-mail on the about page or post the topic in the comments section there.


  • This topic is about wolves in sheep’s clothing. What it looks like. How to identify them. How to vet against it.
  • This topic is NOT about what if a wife (or man for that matter) is begging for sex. Read what I wrote and post it where I said to if you want me to bring it up for discussion.

How hard is it to stay on topic? The men did. The women went berserk.

I’m not sure who wrote that unmasking feminism post, but this non-sequitur “criticism” is just another giant steaming pile of emotional crap derailed by a failure to read what was actually written. It’s embarrassing. It will be interesting to see if my male commenters and I get an apology for that post.

However, as I did tell ChildofRa in another post it would be best if she has am older Christian woman as a mentor who she can discuss various of these topics with if she wants to know more. Additionally, if any are willing to answer the question over there then go for it as that is a topic post for it. Just ignore the awful post content.

Edit: my apology for the impatient and unkindness in this post: My apologies

This entry was posted in Advice to Christian women, Godly mindset & lifestyle and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

12 Responses to Barking up the wrong tree

  1. Pingback: Barking up the wrong tree |

  2. feeriker says:

    However, as I did tell ChildofRa in another post it would be best if she has am older Christian woman as a mentor

    A Titus 2 wife? She’ll need a time machine that can take her back at least 40 years, if not farther.

  3. ChildofRa says:

    I apologize to you all your male commenters for being a pathetic female with my emotional crap. I am sorry I lack reading comprehension and that I went berzerk & strayed from the topic at hand. Again I am sorry

  4. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    I have to apologize too, if I provoked the controversey.

  5. Pedat Ebediyah says:

    “I apologize to you all your male commenters for being a pathetic female with my emotional crap. I am sorry I lack reading comprehension and that I went berzerk & strayed from the topic at hand. Again I am sorry”

    Congratulations. For now you can add childish, petty, and manipulative to your sarcastic and condescending apology as well.

  6. ChildofRa says:

    Fine, since my first apologize is worthless……

    I am truly sorry

  7. Dragonfly says:

    You didn’t say anything wrong… just (as you just spelled out) wrote about the importance of picking wisely, because we all have to live with our choices ultimately.

    I had to tell a woman this last week who was complaining about her sister’s soon to be ex-husband, and trying to lay all the blame on him in their marriage. Ultimately, I stated that I was sorry that she chose so badly a husband and future father of their children. She didn’t like that. :/

  8. Dragonfly says:

    I’ll have to look back fuzzie… how on earth would you provoke controversey??? You’re always respectful.

  9. Pedat Ebediyah says:

    “Fine, since my first apologize is worthless……”

    You are ALL in your feelings. Just stop talking.

    It not about whether the apology was worthless or not worthless, but about whether it was even necessary.

    So just stop talking. We already forgive you and love you, so just be quiet. None of this will matter next week.

  10. Pingback: My apologies | Christianity and the manosphere

  11. hearthie says:

    I’m just going to leave this here and you can do what you want with it.

    Married people are going to need to give one another grace on any number of issues, and sex is a big one. Good idea to vet, good idea to start out life with equalish appetites. But stuff happens – and then you need to be able to 1) communicate 2) get into the other person’s head 3) act with agape love 4) accept grace from your partner.

    It happens reasonably often that mothers to very young children experience a drop in libido. There are reasons for that – real reasons. So, what do you do? First, address the real reasons. Then, accept that the husband has a *valid* need and appetite that should be filled *by the wife* – and work to make filling that appetite happen. That might well mean that the wife makes a lovely “meal” for her husband that she’s not particularly hungry for – she just wants to see him happy. This is where #4 comes in.

    I’ll do my part as an older woman and remind any younger wives of my acquaintance that taking care of their husband’s appetites (all of them) is their responsibility. As for the rest – well, God made us different, and our roles mean those differences are exacerbated sometimes. The mutual giving/receiving of grace to the crazy person of the opposite sex is part of marriage, part of merging with the “other”. It’s a good thing – makes us grow as Christians, learning to agape love outside our comfort zones.

  12. @ hearthie

    Thanks for relating that experience. Definitely a lot of good stuff there.

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