alpha beta misunderstandings

In understanding the world and the mission I provided a chart that conveys the nature of how masculinity and femininity interact with good and evil.


I did make a slight mistake on this chart which I want to point out which is that Jezebel and feminism go up where “satan” is because they tend to hypermasculinize women by power grabbing, encouraging rebellion, and making women “strong and independent.” However, that is besides the point of this post.

What makes a man attractive to women (or as we call “alpha”) is raw masculinity which is typically shown through confidence, boldness, leadership, outcome independence, not making a woman the center of his world, and a whole host of various traits. Vice versa for women and femininity. Obviously, a “righteous alpha” is a man who acts with righteously and masculine. That would put him up closer to the examples such as Jesus and David.

On the other hand, “beta” traits are typically touted as provider, comforter, being nice, putting a woman on a pedestal, and the like. However, it is more accurate to say that some of these are decidedly unmasculine or righteous — which means they can fit anywhere up or down — which is why they are not attractive.

The issue to where the alpha/beta supposed dichotomy runs into trouble is that in Christianity we assume that the “righteous actions” are “beta” when they are not. For example, there is a vast difference between a husband deciding that his whole family go help with a food drive versus a wife that drags her unwilling husband with her. One is showing leadership, and the other is caving to his wife’s demands.

A Christian nice guy may act righteously, but he is not unattractive because of his righteous actions. Rather, he is unattractive because he is not masculine.

It is very easy to get this confused and say the fruits of the spirit, being a provider, and whatnot are “beta” traits. However, that ignores the fact that a masculine man can personify the fruits of the Spirit — the so-called righteous alpha — while being attractive to women.

Understanding this subtle distinction is extremely important when trying to educate Christian men about the importance of masculinity. It’s not that you’re trying to push them away from doing good and loving others. It’s that you are trying to change the nature of how they act to agree with the nature that God has created in them. As I have stated before we are the only species on this planet that can actually act against our nature. All male animals behave male animals. All female animals behave like female animals. Yet, we have free will. Men can choose to act effeminate, and women can choose to act masculine. That’s what we see.

As I discussed in the 3 big elephants in the room and thoughts on authentic manhood, it is important to see that the vast majority of men are feminized. A lot of this has to do with the feminization of the church, but it is also the prevailing attitude in society and our education system. We tend to get a polarization of men because of today’s society:

  • The only masculinity we see are “bad boys” because they are willing to boldly and confidently buck the feminized system.
  • Hence, most of the Christian men tend to be educated away from masculinity — because masculinity is “toxic” and patriarchy is “bad.” Thus, they may end up seeking and pursuing righteous but effeminate in how they approach their life.

Because this polarization exists, some Christians in the ‘sphere inaccurately believe that that we must act “bad” in order to attract women when that simply is not the case.

In conclusion,

  • Alpha = masculine
  • Beta = unmasculine/effeminate
  • Righteousness or evil is neither masculine or unmasculine but depends on what the attitude and actions are.

Act righteous and focus on becoming more manly as a a Christian man. Especially if you’re looking for a wife. Embrace the role of the head.

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13 Responses to alpha beta misunderstandings

  1. Pingback: alpha beta misunderstandings |

  2. Tom Arrow says:

    Great article, I like the concept.

    But “All female animals behave like female animals. Yet, we have free will. Men can choose to act effeminate, and women can choose to act masculine. That’s what we see.” is bullshit. I once saw a very shy dog, for instance. This was due to abuse; in the end, abuse is also what makes men ‘effeminate’. Although I rather reject the idea that a man can really be feminine; he can, rather, attempt to imitate female nature. Without ever fully succeeding. As some have observed, even gay men lack some typical feminine characteristics like caring and nurturing.

    Oh and: Satan rocks!

  3. @ Tom Arrow

    Interesting point. You can consider education of men out of their masculine nature to be abuse.

  4. Tom Arrow says:

    @ Deep Strength

    I like to imagine a very masculine and confident man and wonder what you would have to do to him to make him into a shy mangina that is willing to please a woman.

    How much pain would you need to inflict, emotionally or physically?

    I doubt you can call that education. No boy will willingly and without at least emotional coercion (‘you make mommy sad’, ‘be a good boy and make me proud’, ‘earn my love’) accept that kind of education.

  5. Pilgrim of the East says:

    I understand that point of chart was just to illustrate concept that right/evil and masculinity/femininity are two different axes, but what is so masculine about Satan? And should be Sarah really all the way to the right?
    Also, by saying that feminists and Jezebel are in fact masculine, you’re kind of pointing (I know you don’t really think that) that real women = good (because bad women are actually masculine).

    Anyway, I think that masculinity/femininity is more about duties and way in which they are fulfilled than about attributes or values ( as in your thoughts on authentic manhood), it’s just that traditional masculine attributes are needed and shown much more in fulfilling man’s duties and vice versa… Because by making masculinity/femininity into axis you’re kind of saying e.g. “Rahab showed great boldness by hiding the spies, that makes her less feminine and more masculine”.

  6. @ Pilgrim of the East

    Well, I suppose you could argue that Satan was supposed submissive to God and rebelled.

    My point is that what is “good” is playing out the roles that have been given to you. Sarah followed Abraham’s lead. This is the dichotomy of the masculine/feminine in a relationship. Masculinity and femininity essentially embody the roles and responsibilities that are within a relationship. I don’t think you can separate them.

    For example, although “boldness” is a “traditionally” masculine trait I wouldn’t say it’s a “Scripturally” masculine trait. There is a difference between traditional and Scriptural… a big one in many cases.

  7. Feminine But Not Feminist says:

    For example, although “boldness” is a “traditionally” masculine trait I wouldn’t say it’s a “Scripturally” masculine trait.

    I would say that boldness is a Scripturally universal trait, but how that plays out will vary from masculine men and feminine women.

  8. Mychael says:

    I don’t have much to add except that the more “alpha” Scott chooses to be (and it really seems like a choice he makes sometimes to more so) the more attractive those other things are.

    In other words, if he is already being super masculine/confident (and therefore attractive) even the provider/beta/spiritual boldness works.

    The other day, he came in sweaty and dirty from working with the horse and in the next moment, I overheard him in the other room praying with our daughter in front of our altar. He was explaining some part of the prayer to her and hearing it was a turn on.

    Normally, a praying man is not “attractive” in that way.

  9. Robyn says:

    “We tend to get a polarization of men because of today’s society:”


  10. Pingback: Does the “beta” stuff really have to be attraction-neutral? | Morally Contextualized Romance

  11. @ Mychael

    Correct. It’s not so much that “beta” stuff is attraction neutral. Rather, it’s colored by the attractiveness or unattractiveness of the spouse.

    For example,

    1. Kindness by an attractive man/husband is appealing by a wife or other women.

    2. Kindness by an unattractive man/husband is seen as weakness or pandering by the wife or other women..

    Trump is a pretty good example right now compared to the other candidates even though most of his policies are terrible.

  12. bob says:

    MY understanding involves a symbolic understanding
    where woman is as the habit subconscious mind in both genders
    where indeed woman tend to be more given to be a kind of emotionality
    that is resistant to spiritual discipline required for maturing and a renewed mind

    on the other hand men’s nature tends to lack emotional sensitivity
    thus why women should not talk in church
    symbolically ..when in church…in meditation to receive divine guidance
    one should still interruptive old nature emotions
    when god in meditations is showing the soul how to free itself from remaining indwelling sins

    the point tho is that on the symbolic level
    despite it being harder perhaps for women
    to discipline mind and emotions
    nevertheless when accomplished

    they can exercise positions of authority in the cnurch

    then too the question if women can surpass men
    in terms of spiritual maturity
    and if indeed a matured renewed mind with men
    is much more rare than perhaps many christians think

  13. Pingback: Masculine immaturity is placing responsibilities before roles | Christianity and the manosphere

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