We’ve talked about this before, but I realized that I didn’t codify it into a simply post. There’s 3 different shades of rebellion which are overt, covert, and the twisted. While most of the egalitarian Christians favor overt rebellion, you will find that most of the complementarian Christians favor covert or twisted rebellion.
Overt: Overt rebellion brings out the “equal” card as a defense against husband and wife roles and responsibilities not understanding that they are two separate and distinct things. Human dignity or Biblical “honor” is imbued within all humans, although on earth there is no equality with regard to many things including beauty, talent, intelligence, and many other facets of human life. The fact that there is headship and submission, love and respect, and many other different forms of roles and responsibilities is different from honor.
Covert: Covert rebellion is shown in the wording used, and it is personified by those who don’t truly trust. For example, much of the advice on complementarian websites to wives is to “let their husbands lead.” Unfortunately, we don’t “let” anyone do anything. We either follow or we don’t. Christians don’t “let” Christ lead them… they follow him or they don’t. This type of covert rebellion signifies that the person is lukewarm. Typically, they may believe it in their head that it is true, but they do not fully believe with their heart. They may have good intentions — unlike the other forms of rebellion — but they still have not come to understand what it means to truly be a follower of Christ and/or their husbands.
edit: from the comments here are a couple of other examples from seriouslyserving: “The flipside of this is ‘why won’t my husband lead?’ or ‘how do I get my husband to lead?'” The vast majority of the time the husband is already leading, but it is simply not the way the wife wants. The question is a form of rebellion aimed at finding a way to get the husband to lead the way the wife wants instead of submitting to the husband’s way of leading. The answer is simply to follow the husband’s lead and root out the selfish desires.
Twisted: Twisted rebellion is what Dalrock has been covering with the example of the Kellers. This type of rebellion is where you call good evil and evil good. As it says in Isaiah 5 woe to those who do this. For example, the Kellers story is that his wife took out the fine China and destroyed it with a hammer, and that it was calculated. This caused her husband to listen to her and change. Obviously, this is against actual Scriptural advice from 1 Peter 3, but it is being taught in many churches that there is such thing as a “godly tantrum” that should be employed against husbands to get them to realized (see: cave into) their wives feelings.
In general, Twisted Rebellion is the most dangerous because it masquerades good as evil and evil as good. Covert rebellion is the rebellion that most women struggle with who actually want to obey God and the Scriptures. Overt rebellion of the egalitarian “Christians” is simply giving into cultural mores (see: the spirit of Jezebel) at the expense of following what God speaks in the Scriptures.
Most evil to the least evil in terms of intentions of the heart: Twisted then Overt then Covert
Note that all of these different forms of rebellion also apply to the relationship between Christians and Christ and other authority structures not just wives and husbands.