Donal has an interesting thought that there is misery in too much comfort for women.
One consequence (among many) of Original Sin is that women will experience greater pain/suffering as a result of bearing and rearing children. I would argue that an expectation of this is “baked into” their genetics.
This leads us to the modern day, and the theory behind this post. The problem is that in the present age women are more coddled than they have ever been. They are, especially in the West and in families not at the bottom of the SES ladder, further removed from suffering than ever before. The level of comfort in the civilized world has never been higher. True suffering, true sacrifice, is alien to most women growing up. Most parents take care to keep their children from having to suffer, often by ensuring as much comfort as possible.
While I certainly understand this behavior on the part of parents, it is at the same time utter folly. Suffering can never really be escaped. It will always be present, and I will use a future post to go into that in further detail. What matters for this post is that this coddling approach is a disaster. Why?
Simple: Women expect suffering in their life- it is the natural thing. [Think about the vast majority of human history- filled with suffering for pretty much everyone.] When women are too comfortable, when suffering is absent from their life, then it sends a message to their unconscious mind that something is wrong, that what they are living is an unnatural life. That message of unnaturalness will only be repeated over the years as they grow up. They will know, somewhere deep down inside, that something is wrong. Unfortunately, because this is unconscious, they won’t know what it is, exactly, that is wrong.
This will, naturally enough, lead them to feel miserable. The misery is only made worse because they won’t understand it. It will gnaw on their mind incessantly, like an itch you can’t quite reach.
In my opinion, this is not so much a women thing but a human thing. A lack of punishment for wrong behavior leads to the entitlement mentality.
Proverbs 13:24 He who withholds his rod hates his son, But he who loves him disciplines him diligently.
Now, the reason why women tend to have a greater propensity for entitlement mentality is because they are coddled more by parents, friends, and society. A struggling man will have to “take his lumps” while women in general have tons of support networks. For example, a woman in today’s society can do many terrible things and then attempt suicide and get sympathy because she was ‘troubled’ and it wasn’t her fault.
Entitlement mentality is typically seen most commonly at the outliers of society. Those on perpetual welfare or social services become entitled to what they receive. The children of rich parents who are coddled and not exposed to consequences for their actions also become entitled. Likewise, women, as a whole, in our society have become an entitled class in schools, job and promotions, laws, and general societal well being and concern.
Thus, I don’t think it’s necessarily ‘suffering’ in the case of women but entitlements and lack of proper teaching of actions and consequences.
Personally, I’m reminded a bit of what I was talking to a guy the other day. He claimed the serenity prayer was in the Bible and obviously having read through the Bible multiple times I knew it was not.
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can,And wisdom to know the difference.
Although the serenity prayer was written by a Christian theologian about 70-80 years ago, it’s been elevated to a certain status among ‘pseudo-believers’ to Biblical status because in reality it is pretty good wisdom overall. However, as many of us know, “Good Wisdom” does not necessarily bear the effective power of the transforming nature of Scripture.
Similarly, there are many heresies peddled by American churchianity like prosperity gospel that are simply incorrect but people believe them because they do not have the proper knowledge of Scripture and/or who God is. In this respect, their knowledge of action and consequences are off.
For example, I know a lot of people who believed that if they become a Christian their life will become good… and then they are surprised when it didn’t. I would classify myself into that category even as little a bit more than 5 years ago. Then, when you actually read through the Bible you encounter verses like these:
Luke 9:23 Then he said to them all: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me.
2 Timothy 3:12 Indeed, all who desire to live godly in Christ Jesus will be persecuted.
The nature of the cross is that it offends. Christians are conditioned to see the cross as a symbol of hope, and that is certainly true. However, the cross is also a beacon of pain and suffering. This is the dual nature of divinity and humanity. Hope and suffering.
The disciples and those that listened to Jesus’ teaching knew of it first hand. They would all have seen numerous crucifixions during their lives under Roman rule. However, modern churchianity likes to gloss over that fact because pain and suffering is not attractive and won’t bring people to the seats.
Proverbs 27:17 As iron sharpens iron so one man sharpens another.