You have shown more courage than most and you deserve credit for that. I do not desire that you leave, but that you stay and be a Berean, to see if these things be true. As a shepherd you are held accountable for you teaching. If you are in error, I would think you would desire to repent. That takes humility and the illumination of the Holy Spirit. I pray that the Holy Spirit will work in you with many of the comments here including the following. I want to give you something to meditate on, it is in response to your statement:
“It is, as you rightly point out, my desire to show how patriarchy is not the pattern of the New Covenant Scriptures.”
I submit that patriarchy is not a polity, character or pattern that is of the created order, rather it is intrinsic to God and so transcends the created order. Much like truth is not a characteristic that is created or can rightly be used to judge God as if it is extrinsic to Him, God is truth and truth is a quality intrinsic to Him. We would not know what truth is, if God was not truth. In a similar way God is patriarchy. The economic trinity, (the relationships between the persons), is revealed as a patriarchy. Christ is the son of the Father, who does His Fathers will. The Father sends the Son to redeem the elect and blesses Him; “This is my Son with whom I am well pleased”. Christ is for all eternity past and future the Son of the Father. This is the rule of the Father which is literally patriarchy.
Beyond the economic Trinity is a patriarchy, redemption is also fashioned in scripture as a patriarchy. Christ the husband, elects, redeems and rules His bride the church. She is to worship, obey, fear, submit, serve, be subject to her husband, Christ. The rule of the husband as the head of the wife and the household is patriarchy.
Holiness is a quality that is intrinsic to God. We say that something is holy because it resembles godliness. Patriarchy is also holy. Christ is making His bride holy and a Christian husband sanctifies his wife (makes holy) with the washing and watering of the Word. Thus patriarchy is not a pattern of the New Testament covenant, nor dispensation nor administration et al. Patriarchy transcends human history and nature, it is the very nature of God. When Christians live in patriarchal families they reflect the very holiness of God and bear witness to His sovereign rule.
Indeed, Moose expressed similar sentiments in his post when discussing Patriarchy with the neoreaction.
This is the lie of feminism and modernity. The backdrop of our culture is that there is an undercurrent of rebellion against any male led endeavor. The evil acts of a few are touted as evidence that the structure is rotten. However, we know this to be false.
This leads to the conclusion that if the first thing you think of when you think of authority and/or headship is concern over how it can be abused rather how it can be used for good you’re already on the wrong track altogether.
Obfuscating questions such as “what if my [insert authority here] tells me to sin” are simply the result of a rotten mindset. This rottenness of the culture within each of us needs to be purged in order to operate with heart, mind, soul, and strength in alignment with God and the commands he gives to us regarding authority in the Scriptures.
Authority is always implicitly tied to the responsibility to love.
We see this reflected in the Father’s nature — ‘For God so loved the world that He sent His only son that whosoever shall believe in him will not perish but have eternal life’ — and as a command given to those in authority toward those subordinate. For examples, husbands to wives: ‘husbands love your wives as Christ loved the Church…’
If you want to address the point when discussing authority or Patriarchy with others, you need to find out why a person implicitly believes that authority is bad when it is good.
Case in point. Discussing the topic when they have a fundamentally different value system than you — authority = bad versus authority = good — will get you nowhere.