I was oddly surprised by the list as it’s decent, even if still white knighty. Still, the commentary was decent on each point, with solid disclaimers against rule-y legalism that most Christians seem to have toward ‘dating’ or whatever.
1.) Stop looking for “the one.”
2.) Date with a trajectory toward marriage.
3.) Don’t date non-Christians.
4.) Have a list of values and don’t compromise them.
5.) Don’t “shotgun” date.
6.) It’s OK to WANT to get married.
7.) It’s OK NOT to get married.
8.) Have a community of Christians around you … and LISTEN to them.
9.) Pursue a pure mind.
10.) Don’t date if you are dependent on someone for things only God can provide.
Unfortunately, there wasn’t very much Scripture involved in writing this post. And by Scripture I mean a husband and wife knowing what their roles and responsibilities are in marriage and the qualities they should be looking for in the opposite sex, including running a household, sex, and family. Of course, this type of discussion would rapidly devolve into arguing about love, respect, submission, sex, contraception, and other “divisive” issues.
There’s only really the ‘generic’ Christian stuff like don’t date a non-Christian and have a pure mind. I’m not against generally ‘wise’ principles and Christian concepts, but it seems like most self-called Christians like to invent their own stuff at the expensive of overtly heeding the vast wisdom that is already laid out for us in Scripture.
The same is true of “book culture” which is prevalent in Evangelical Christianity (and I’m sure it’s not just limited to that). “Book culture” is the tendency for people to read books about the Bible and interpretations about the Bible and spiritual things instead of reading the Bible itself. There is a reason why I rarely read any ‘spiritual books’ aside from the Bible and classic commentaries on the Bible including the early Church fathers.
It’s easy to be deceived. Like all those books and movies about heaven. And let’s not get started on movies like Fireproof, Courageous, the War Room, and so on. Deception is a very real pitfall when you start devaluing the Word of God, even for other so-called ‘Christian materials.’