Women hate sacrifice when it involves suffering

edit: Donal threw up a response post on women avoiding sacrifice. Sacrifice fits better as the main idea, so I changed the wording from here on where it was applicable.

I was trying to think of ways to make the this post into something elaborate, but the title really just explains itself. Women hate sacrifice when it involves suffering, and by extension women don’t handle sacrifice well.


  • Divorce rate is 70% women initiated. Because women are unhappy.
  • Husbands persist through contentious and shrewish wives in marriage taking on more responsibilities (e.g. choreplay, childcare), while women can’t handle being unhappy.
  • Pastors and wives with unbelieving husbands will go out of their way to make up stuff like “intelligent submission” so they don’t have to submit. Then the sad part is when “intelligent submission” is defended instead of admitting it is being used to rebel against husbands and against the Scriptures.
  • Christian men and husbands would rather cave to women when they are unhappy rather than to tell them it is a normal part of the Christian walk. “All who desire to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted” 2:Timothy 3:12. Suffering and sacrifice is normal for Christians. We do a lot of things in this life that we don’t want to because they should be done.
  • Women are coddled by society, praised and pushed for college and credentialism. Men are put down and no on cares about them. When women fail they are helped as much as possible, especially by white knights. When men fail no one really cares that they are suffering except perhaps their parents.

I find it interesting that when women step out from under authority — their father’s or their husband’s — they expose themselves to more sin and suffering. However, in our culture this is lauded. Likewise, fathers and husbands are also encouraged to allow their wives and daughters to step out from under authority under the guise of “freedom” and “not being controlling.”

However, when asked to sacrifice themselves to bear responsibility, they vehemently shy away from it and victimize themselves. All of this sin, suffering, and woe that women experience is blamed on the fathers and husbands. Either for not protecting them (when they went off on their own volition) or as their fault because everything bad a woman does is under the bad leadership of a man. Sadly, this is more prevalent in the Church than secular culture.

I had always wondered why Christian wives can ignore the plain-reading Scripture of 1 Peter 3, especially if their husband is an unbeliever or a “back-sliding” Christian. There have been numerous examples of this, including recent posts.

1 Peter 3:1 In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, 2 as they observe your chaste and [a]respectful behavior. 3 Your adornment must not be merely external—braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses; 4 but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God. 5 For in this way in former times the holy women also, who hoped in God, used to adorn themselves, being submissive to their own husbands; 6 just as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, and you have become her children if you do what is right [b]without being frightened by any fear.

Now I see the light.

Christian wives in response to suffering absolutely hate sacrificing — denying their own will — to display Christ-like behavior. They would rather manipulate the situation around them to be better by their own volition than try it God’s way. They would rather be self-righteous in rebellion and false humble about not being a doormat.

The irony is that they are only heaping more sin and suffering on themselves in the long run by not sucking it up now and sacrificing like Christ did for them. The light you shine when you suffer and sacrifice for Christ can change hearts. Self righteousness and false humility can’t.

This entry was posted in Advice to Christian women, Godly mindset & lifestyle and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

15 Responses to Women hate sacrifice when it involves suffering

  1. ar10308 says:

    That also explains how so many of them have flocked with excitement to birth control that keeps them from suffering the pains of childbirth.

  2. @ ar10308

    Can’t believe I forgot about that one.

  3. donalgraeme says:

    And abortion too. Can’t forget that one.

  4. feeriker says:

    It would perhaps have been more generally accurate to have titled this post “Women Hate to be Inconvenienced, which includes suffering and accountability. Otherwise, you’re spot on, as usual.

  5. @ feeriker

    Suffering is the more striking word, which is why I used it.

    Accountability is also unjust suffering, under a woman’s definition: womens’ sin is much of the time blamed on men.

  6. donalgraeme says:

    Got a response to this I am working on.

  7. Pingback: Avoiding Sacrifice | Donal Graeme

  8. Jacob says:

    women would rather be self-righteous in rebellion and false[ly] humble about not being a doormat.

    I wouldn’t go so far as to claim wimen would rather be self-righteous or falsely humble, it may be that it’s simply easier for them to do this because society coddles them so much.

    Modern Christian women in the West seem to have a great deal of trouble taking on the role of the suffering servant. It’s as though they perceive suffering as a sin, particularly suffering in the service of their husbands. It’s almost as if lack of self-esteem is perceived as a sin!

    While men must eschew comfort for its scarcity, women in the West are able to bathe in its relative abundance. In this coddling environment, a woman who suffers even a little can, if she wants, like the barely-bruised child after a fall who looks instinctively to parents’ reaction before deciding on the degree of her ‘suffering’. The cultural and social bloodstream has become super-saturated with ideas like “the personal is political” to the point that all suffering is seen as sexism. In the feminist age, women are encouraged to amplify and leverage even the smallest suffering into a comforting embrace, thinking it’s a win for Team Woman. This is another clear example of how feminism is incompatible with Scripture.

    Jesus is the perfect picture of the suffering servant, who took our sins on Himself and made full atonement for them. While we were still sinners, He died for us, that we might become righteous before God. Following Him is a promise of long-suffering love, not of a comfortable and carefree life.

    The question must begin to be put to women in churches: are you feminist, or are you Christian? You can’t be both.

  9. @ Jacob

    The question must begin to be put to women in churches: are you feminist, or are you Christian? You can’t be both.

    Yep, I’ve said that before.

    It’s funny because a lot of the antagonist blogs, of commenters who have been banned for trolling, tried to defend against that idea. Not surprising at all. Hits a nerve, too.

  10. feeriker says:

    The question must begin to be put to women in churches: are you feminist, or are you Christian? You can’t be both.

    The reaction will simply be to try to hamsterbate a new definition of feminism so as to make it comport with Christianity. Never will churchians admit even the possibility of feminism corrupting Christianity, oh no, No, NO …

  11. Ame says:

    Years ago a friend gave me the book, Calm My Anxious Heart, by Linda Dillow. I don’t think I ever finished the book, but I keep it close because of the following found on pages 79-80:

    “I paced back and forth as I waited. Eva-with-No-Home was coming to my home. Our home was far from palatial, but compared to homes in Poland, it was a mansion. Many times I wanted a larger house, but today I felt guilty that God had given me so much.

    “Finally Eva and little Monika arrived. They would stay with us for two days and then travel to Innsbruck to visit the family Eva had lived with as a college student. As we toured our house, Eva smiled and said, “How beautiful, Linda. Everything is lovely.” No greed or envy clouded her face.

    “I had a knot in my stomach as I mentally reviewed her housing dilemma. Because there were no apartments available for young couples in Communist Poland, Eva and her husband, Mirek, and little Monika had lived like gypsies during the three years I’d known them. First they lived with Mirek’s parents, then Eva’s. Back and forth from one tiny apartment to the other. Now Eva was pregnant with their second child, and the family still didn’t have a home. If our situations were reversed, I’m sure my face would have been marred by envy.

    “After dinner Eva said she was going upstairs to wash out Monika’s diapers. “Eva,” I said. “You don’t need to wash your daughter’s diapers by hand! I have a washer and dryer. use those.” Eva replied that she was used to hand washing and it wasn’t a problem.

    “After Monika was asleep, Eva and I sat and talked. I asked her the question that had been roaming around in my heart all day. “When you see all the modern conveniences here for mothers of small children – washing machines, disposable diapers, baby food in jars – how do you feel? Life for you in Poland is so much more difficult!”

    “Her response pierced my heart. “Linda, when I lived here in the West, I observed Western women. They have so many things that they don’t need God.”

  12. Pingback: Men try to out work their suffering | Christianity and masculinity

  13. Jonadab-the-Rechabite says:

    “Her response pierced my heart. “Linda, when I lived here in the West, I observed Western women. They have so many things that they don’t need God.”

    Western women have so much they no longer think they need a man. The quote “a woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle” was taken from an atheist who said he “…needed God like a fish needs a bicycle”. Cast off patriarchy and you cast off the patriarch, the ultimate patriarch is one we pray to with the words “Our Father who art in heaven…”

  14. Pingback: Selected Sunday Scriptures- #116 | Donal Graeme

  15. Isabelle says:

    “Western women have so much that they no longer think they need a man”

    They have so much because of men who made life here easier with all their inventions and technology .
    They have so much because of men that they think they no longer need a man”

    How contradictory .

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