Attitudes and marriage

Lots of good responses and warnings in the marriage advice thread. Anyone getting married in this day and age needs to look at marriage in the context of God versus the culture/state.

The attitude of a person going into marriage will make or break it. If they think it’s a terrible idea, then it is a terrible idea because it will eventually manifest poorly.

A husband that is afraid that he may have everything taken away from him will not act rationally in his best interests in terms of the Biblical roles and responsibilities. What I mean by this is if a husband is in fear that his wife will divorce him, he will not be able to love her through sanctification. He will not be able to call her out and correct her when she is off course. He won’t be able to lead the marriage effectively due to being afraid of the potential consequences of her unhappiness. He won’t be able to stand firm during her moodiness and eventually capitulate. He’ll have a difficult time pushing back against a culture and and the churchians who suggest that “love” is “making his wife happy.”

This is not to say that those going into it with good attitudes will have godly and successful marriages. That certainly is not the case in every circumstance. Everyone has free will and even many people who were following or disciples of Jesus rejected him when the going got rough (e.g. John 6). However, it is true that it is likely that a bad attitude with corresponding responses will eventually lead to marital ruin.

In this context, we can say that a husband who does not fear his wife but only fears God stands a much better chance at having not only a godly marriage but a successful marriage as well.

Each man must count his own cost, and also evaluate whether he has the capacity to stand strong on the Biblical roles and responsibilities of marriage. He must also evaluate whether the woman he has chosen has the qualities and attributes necessary to do the same. He should read the Scripture about the nature of women, pray, fast, and consult wise counsel.

If any man has any any reservations or wavering convictions, it would be unwise to marry.

I do not have them. Therefore, I will get married.

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10 Responses to Attitudes and marriage

  1. Good post!
    In third paragraph, did you mean to say “will not *act* rationally”?

  2. @ seriouslyserving

    Thanks! Fixed.

  3. Paniym says:

    The 65 year old recent divorcee here again……..

    I had commented with a long comment in the last post. Don’t mean to be pessimistic but I do believe these issues need to be addressed. Until you see raw hypergamy up close and personal you can’t really imaging the destruction it can cause. And when your in the midst of the bliss of a heavy romance it’s very difficult to believe it won’t always be that way.

    I guess it’s hard for some to imagine what’s it’s like to be married for 40 years and then have it blow up on you. But when your wife demands a divorce after you’ve given your whole life to serving in abject betahood you’re devastated when it goes south. You’ve sacrificed everything……..your wealth, health, emotional and physical well being all for nothing. Having been betrayed by Church leadership who allow their congregations to be taken over Christian Feminists and yes every congregation is heavily populated by Christian Feminists. The leadership (and women congregants) will never admit to it but when you peel back the onion you find that most are totally corrupted by modern feminist dogma.

    So if you decide to get married in spite of the negatives. Let me give you a few suggestions:
    1. Always believe the Word. The Word is very Red Pill when openly examined.
    2. Always know that Red Pill truths as taught by the three R’s are more true than what (on the surface) appears to be true or are taught in the Church or pushed on you by culture.
    3. The FI (Feminine imperative) is masterful at hiding it’s ugly sins such as hypergamy and very very few men can see through it. So don’t be deceived in thinking that NAWALT. They are…….
    4. Always be masculine. Always be strong, be dominate and Alpha.
    5. Always be in the power position in the marriage as God instituted. This is not an ego trip. This is necessary for a healthy marriage. Generally when women get the power they become very unhappy and harpy…………
    6. Make sure you marry a feminine woman. The more feminine the better. In general feminine women make better mothers, lovers, homemakers and are deferential to your leadership.
    7. Always apply Red Pill principles and truths. Don’t ever believe the “Servant Leadership” BS the evangelical Church pushes.

    Best wishes…………….

  4. Don Quixote says:

    @ Paniym: I read your previous posts and I offer my condolences. I am 10 years your younger and my wife divorced me after only about 5 years of marriage. That was over 20 years ago, and I never remarried. I can sympathise with your predicament.

    At the time of my divorce the church I attended didn’t accept remarriage [for any reason], so facing a life alone I was devastated. After the divorce I got a new job a long way from where I lived and I began a new life in a different place. In my new locale all the churches accepted remarried couples and I considered what life would be like with a new wife… but I was haunted by the teaching of my previous church. So I kept to my self and didn’t socialise with women. This was during the 90s and there was no red pill movement.

    Fast forward to now, and I thank God every day for His mercies. What a blessing it is to be free from a woman!
    I have watched many marriages fail over the years and its usually the woman behind the destruction. I have retained the beliefs I received as a young man and documented them on my site [click my name if you’re interested]. If you hold to Jesus Christ you will always win. Every. Single. Time.

    I recently attended the marriage of my son, and I didn’t discourage him from getting married. I prepared him with red pill truths. He vetted his wife well, but there are no guarantees in life especially in marriage. God willing I’m hoping one day to be a grandfather. The church needs new blood, and examples like DS are the future of the church, God willing we will see another generation take up the fight. Life goes on in Jesus name.

  5. Jonadab-the-Rechabite says:

    “A husband that is afraid that he may have everything taken away from him will not act rationally in his best interests in terms of the Biblical roles and responsibilities. What I mean by this is if a husband is in fear that his wife will divorce him, he will not be able to love her through sanctification.”

    But he will be blamed for not leading and not loving as Christ loves the church. He will be shamed from the pulpit, blamed in counseling and pained attempting to keep his vows.

    Don’t ask me how I know, but I this know in spades.

  6. Swanny River says:

    Jonadab,
    You brought context by showing the cost of having the right attitude. So it’s more than just having the right attitude, but knowing that when you adopt it, the church’s encouragement will be ambivalent.

  7. @ Jonadab-the-Rechabite

    😦

  8. thedeti says:

    Paniym:

    “I guess it’s hard for some to imagine what’s it’s like to be married for 40 years and then have it blow up on you. But when your wife demands a divorce after you’ve given your whole life to serving in abject betahood you’re devastated when it goes south.”

    There aren’t any guarantees, but giving “your whole life to serving in abject betahood” certainly doesn’t help preserve a marriage, even one that lasts 40 years.

    A man should always preserve his one trump card, his one nuclear option: He gets what he wants and needs from his marriage, or he WALKS AWAY. Always be prepared to walk away. Always be prepared to leave the marriage if your spouse is obstinately and rebelliously refusing to give you what you want and need. No sex? No marriage. No respect? No marriage. Wife insists on being “head of household” and running things? Fine. She can run it herself, without me.

    If I divorced today, I’d spend a long time paying alimony. But it would be a small price to pay to not have to remain in a marriage which is all burden and no benefit to me.

  9. Attitudes & Assumptions at Origination: it doesn’t just affect Marriage. It actually effects all organizations of any type.

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