I think one of the interesting scenarios that may come up fairly often in marriage is one of the situations that I recently experienced. Not the first time I experienced it, but it is particularly common especially when a husband and wife want to do things differently.
Here’s the scenario, to which you can also think of many different types of scenarios like this.
- There’s something to carry somewhere. The car is parked in the parking lot.
- I want to pull the car around to get it. The wife wants to carry it to the car.
- I start walking without carrying anything saying I’ll pull the car around. The wife in a huff picks up the thing to carry to the car.
- On the way to the car and/or in the car, the wife gets mad because the husband generally is supposed to carry the heavy objects.
This is where you have to understand making a decision and standing on it. I made the decision to bring the car around. If the wife doesn’t want to abide by it, she can, of course, carry said objects herself. However, her complaining about it doesn’t make it right. Her hassling me about carrying it does not force me to carry it either. She is the one who voluntarily wanted to go against my decision; therefore, she bears the consequences of said decision.
A husband should not offer to help his wife in that circumstance where she is not abiding by his decision.
The story ends with me telling my wife that I made the decision to pull the car around. If she wanted to carry it instead of wait for the car, that’s her responsibility and not mine because I already made the decision. I’m not going to go back on what I said and cave to carry it to the car because she didn’t want to abide by my decision.
Fortunately, my wife is less on the crazy side 2-3/10 and was able to see the logical merits of my decision. And yes, she reads this blog and we’ve talked about where she is on the crazy scale before. This among other things was why I made the decision to marry her.
For the husbands that haven’t been firm on this type of decision making from the start, it is a much, much harder to make a decision like that and stand on it without a wife going crazy about it. However, you have to start somewhere. This is where I diverge from a lot of the so-called secular manosphere thinking that women are like children.
If you don’t treat your wife like an adult who bears responsibility for her decisions, she’s going to keep acting like a child.