Let me know when the gorgeous Christian women want to marry the church janitor

In writing plans, a woman attempts to refute Donal’s PSALMs attraction model. For newer readers, PSALM is basically a pneunomic that describes what women are attracted to — power/personality, status, athleticism/talent, looks, money.

This refutation was:

I have not seem PSALM in operation. I’ve seen gorgeous Christian women married to nerdy preachers.

To which I reply:

This proves the point. Preachers are leaders of the congregation; they have high status and authority. Let me know when gorgeous Christian women are marrying the janitors in the Church.

What is the Biblical case for this?

8 Now to the unmarried[a] and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do. 9 But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

2 Corinthians 6:14 Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?

What causes us to long or to burn is an attractive man or woman. This is God’s design and He made marriage as the righteous outlet for sex.

Now, why would Paul have to urge the Corinthian believers not to be unequally yoked?

If it was the case that being Christian is enough to be married, then Christian would only naturally marry other Christians. However, we see that this is not the case, and believers still struggle with this today. Why is this?

Logically, Paul is making the inference that Christians also find non-Christians attractive, even attractive enough to be married to them if they’re not believers. This is quite obvious. Christian men find non-Christians women attractive. There are tons of celebrities that are certainly attractive. Likewise, Christian women find many non-Christian men attractive as well. However, these attractive non-believers are ungodly and do not exhibit sound faith and the fruits of the spirit for obvious reasons.

It should be abundantly clear that both Christian and non-Christian men and women do not marry those they do not find attractive in most cases. There are some cases, and from what we’ve seen at least anecdotally these marriages have large issues to work through.

Therefore, it should be clear that attractiveness is an important factor if one wants to get married. I’ve also written about the role that attractiveness signals in marriage. Obviously, it is not the most important factor: adherence to Biblical roles and responsibilities, sound faith, character, and morals are all more important. However, it is an important factor. They are not mutually exclusive; you can be both godly and attractive.

It’s quite disingenuous to ignore attraction when this has so readily been exemplified throughout the Bible and in real life. Abraham’s wife Sarah was so attractive that Abimelech and Pharaoh wanted her for their own. Isaac married a beautiful Rebekah. Jacob favored Rachel. David and Bathsheba (for a sinful example). Song of Songs where Solomon describes his bride, the Shulamite woman, as beautiful all throughout.  Even Bathsheba wasn’t immune to David’s position and power. Uriah was one of David’s mighty men, so he had already high status. Yet she chose to be an adulteress because she desired to be David’s wife.

I’m still waiting for those who believe attraction is not important in marriage and that it should not be an important factor to work on for Christian singles who desire to be married to answer this simple statement:

Let me know when the gorgeous Christian women want to marry the church janitor.

I’ll be waiting and so will the other Christian singles who want to be married.

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25 Responses to Let me know when the gorgeous Christian women want to marry the church janitor

  1. SapphireYagami says:

    I was having a conversation with Wintery Knight about attraction. He said it wasn’t important and I stated that it was just as important as adherence to Biblical roles and responsibilities, sound faith, character, and morals

  2. @ SapphireYagami

    I don’t think it’s as important as the things I listed, but I do think it’s #2 over a whole host of other things like personal preferences.

  3. SapphireYagami says:


  4. Dan Horton says:

    Great post, no objections. My main takeaway from the comment thread was ignore women’s words, pay attention to their actions. That woman wrote lengthy comments which at the best were explaining/arguing but quickly became more of a condescending rebuke (“I would expect a better response from men who profess Jesus.”) and yet at the same time said the words most christian men would love to hear from prospective wives (“A meek (submissive) and a quiet spirit is of great price in the sight of God.”)

  5. SnapperTrx says:

    “Feminism was established to allow unattractive women easier access to the mainstream.”

    – Unattractive women exist even in the church.
    – The ‘everybody is beautiful inside’ trope is part of feminism.
    – Feminism has been seeping into the church for years.
    – Ergo, it is not surprising that the “everyone is beautiful inside” mentality, or “outer beauty shouldn’t matter” mentality is just as prevalent in the church as it is outside of it.
    – Tagging along with that are the white knights in the church who give the mentality a stable platform to stand on by chiding men for wanting someone who they find attractive to marry.

    This last line is a test to see if my list item shows up.

  6. Robyn says:

    This was great! YES, looks do matter. The maxim goes: Looks aren’t everything. We know they aren’t … but they sure do get the ball rolling.

    That attraction to “power/personality, status, athleticism/talent, looks, money” can continue too, even after many years of marriage. Nothing to be ashamed of ladies 😉

  7. Dan Horton says:

    (hit button early) … I have seen this time and again in the church, and these women are the ones that are especially dangerous for men, especially men with no knowledge of these parts. I would much prefer a woman who, when pressed, talks about the benefits of feminism and great progress for woman and equality in relationships or other such nonsense, but primarily acts as the bible instructs … meek, submissive, quiet, respects her man, not constantly correcting, not constantly sighing…

    so, anyways, great object lesson she presented for all spectating.

  8. earlthomas786 says:

    I won’t lie about it…I certainly want a woman who submits to God and practices the faith, but I also want her to be physically attractive too.

  9. earlthomas786 says:

    Perhaps someone else remembers the story…but wasn’t there an article a few months back about all the educated women having to freeze their eggs due to their perceived lack of men. Sounds like they’d put their precious fertility on hold rather than having to ‘tortue’ themselves by marrying a blue colar man.

  10. Vasilli says:

    I had to smile at this. I love shoes and I love nice clothes and peacocking it a little. When I started doing it more in my Church recently (I’m in a leadership role) I noticed a response from the ‘aware’ ladies – married and unmarried – as they lifted their own dress code game. Same at work. Attraction works. Superficial but interesting…

  11. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Has anyone given a thought to the janitor being relieved of the attentions of the gorgeous Christian women? Think of all the money he won’t have to spend on gloves, handbags, dresses and shoes?
    There is a story about St. Francis showing up to meet the Pope. The Pope takes one look at him and tells him if he dresses as a pig, he should go live with them. St. Francis takes him at his word and goes and lives with pigs. Six months later, he returns to the Pope. “Holy Father, I have lived with the pigs as you ordered and have learned all they have to teach.” The Pope got down on his hands and knees and kissed St. Francis’ feet, realizing who he was dealing with. That was not just any Pope. That was a Medici Pope.
    I wonder how the Pope would receive our janitor, knowing he had to deal with gorgeous American Christian women? If you bring them food, pigs are always happy to see you. When they’re really happy, their tails don’t go back and forth like a dog, they go in circles, like a propeller.

  12. Vasilli says:

    Has anyone given a thought to the janitor getting himself a nice haircut and taking a bit more care with his oral hygiene?
    Fuzziewuzziebear I must be on the wrong Continent – The women I know (want to) buy their own gear and accessories. And as Rollo says – there is a groupie for every (male) activity (except WoW – and my gaming son laughs…) and our excellent janitor, though on a skewed playing field, will find his own level. On a playing field one must play, points and goals don’t just come to you.

  13. earlthomas786 says:

    Has anyone given a thought to the janitor being relieved of the attentions of the gorgeous Christian women? Think of all the money he won’t have to spend on gloves, handbags, dresses and shoes?

    Well we do live in a very superficial, materalistic society. Just because she’s pretty and has a lot of stuff doesn’t mean she has the best heart.

  14. Stephanie says:

    “Abraham’s wife Sarah was so attractive that Abimelech and Pharaoh wanted her for their own.”

    I always hated those stories… it’s nice Sarah was so attractive, but it made things a lot harder for her and her husband. And wasn’t it more than them just wanting her for their wives? Didn’t they almost (or did?) have sex with her?? Just insane.

  15. earlthomas786 says:

    Perhaps what made her so attractive was that she submitted to her husband. Peter alludes to that in 1 Peter 3. She could have also been physically attractive…but perhaps her demeanor and heart really sealed the deal for some of those other men to want her to be their wife.

  16. @ earlthomas786

    Well, Abraham kept referring to her as his ‘sister.’ So it probably wasn’t her wifely demeanor toward him at least; it was probably her physical beauty.

  17. Chris says:

    “I won’t lie about it…I certainly want a woman who submits to God and practices the faith, but I also want her to be physically attractive too.”

    Nothing wrong with that. If God intends marriage to be a lifelong thing, then it stands to reason that you should have more checkmarks in the “Pro” column. Physical attraction isn’t everything, but it’s something.

  18. Women don’t care how men look They enjoy Tom Cruise for his amazing acting chops and his looks and money has only something to do with it. Women aren’t that shallow. They want a man who treats them right. Takes them to dinner, pays off their student loans and has a McMansion. A man of substance for a material girl in a material world They are not whores, gold-diggers maybe. But how can you support children if you cannot support her, pay for therapy and have the money to set her up if she dumps you in six months? This is not a perfect world. Let not the perfect be the enemy of the good. A good woman is hard to find. Very hard.

  19. SapphireYagami says:

    women do care how men look, women dont want to marry a guy thats obese or has terrible hygiene.

  20. pamelaparizo says:

    First of all, I was referring to an EVANGELIST, which is hardly a position that women would see as status since it involves a lifestyle that is like army on steroids, going from place to place, having to rear children in a motorhome, never knowing where you will be from one moment to the next. I am not sure whether your church is evangelical. The evangelist’s money stream is also dependent on the preaching jobs he has, so they are dependent on the Lord for their income. So, it wasn’t money, status, looks, athleticism, or power that she married him for. Rather, it was because of his powerful spiritual walk with God. I know the evangelist, and he has power in the Spirit.

    Second, LOL, there are NO janitors in the churches I’ve been in within my faith. Our churches are cleaned by single women for the most part. Maybe you are not familiar with a church where God is no respecter of persons, but honors everyone who fears God.

  21. @ pamelaparizo

    Yep, I’m sure the fact that:

    1. He’s a leader
    2. He’s a charismatic speaker
    3. Great people person (all evangelists are)
    4. Travels a lot (some women like that)

    Have nothing to do with the those traits I mentioned at all. As has been mentioned before, the fact that a man may not have some of the traits doesn’t matter if he has others in spades. Every evangelist I’ve met has power/personality in spades. Very charismatic individuals.

    It’s clear you don’t understand what sexually attracts women to men and don’t care to learn so I think I’m finished explaining.

  22. pamelaparizo says:

    We are not charismatic. We believe in sound doctrine. From my reading of your blog and others, I see very little little mentio of the Spirit or its role in your works, which goes hand in hand with what I’m seeing o your blogs. And I do have a longer response as to why LAMPS is not a fitting model for Christians. The Bible concentrates on internals not externals. You focus on the material, whereas we concentrate on things of the Spirit. I took a poll of ladies in the singles group I belong to (yes, even older ladies can marry despite the SMV factor which isn’t even Christian) and only 2 out of about 25 said they cared about looks. The others agreed with me that it was whether the man could fulfill the roles of a husband.

  23. Lost Patrol says:

    and don’t care to learn so I think I’m finished explaining.

    Pamela is not here to learn anything. She is here to explain how weak men are screwing up Christian feminism (apologies to Dalrock). All her posts are along that line.

  24. @ Lost Patrol

    She has been warned. Next infraction will get a ban.

  25. John Boy says:

    Sarah was attractive, Rebecca was beautiful and so was most of the women David had. The most important men in the Bible had the most beautiful women. Beauty is VERY important. I as a christian man cannot settle for anything less than one of God’s perfect creatures. This is the way he made me. To saddle me up with a overweight hag will be torture. The epitome of God’s creation is man, and most certainly a beautiful women. It is the ultimate prize for any christian man to find and love the most gorgeous wife on earth. I cannot imagine the son of God (if it was to happen) ever finding anything but perfection for a lover. Ugly people are usually less talented, less likable and less successful. And was it not our Christian destiny to fulfill the promise of Abrahams blessing, the man who had the most beautiful wife on earth? Think about it!

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