Do your job

One of the posts I’ve been thinking about recently is understanding godly value.

So too all extrinsic value is measured solely through stewardship of what we have been given. A wife’s stewardship is measured through her role and responsibility as a wife. A husband’s stewardship is measured through his role and responsibilities as a husband. Each of these are different in the Scriptures.

A wife gains nothing through usurping her husband’s roles and responsibility. Indeed, it can be said that by usurping her husband’s roles and responsibilities she neglects her own. Thus, she is being irresponsible with what she has been given in addition to being rebellious.

This is why it is extremely important for husbands and wives to know their own roles and responsibilities within a marriage.

  1. A wife gains nothing for loving her husband. However, she will gain much from respecting her husband.
  2. A husband gains nothing by respecting his wife. Rather, he gains much by loving his wife.
  3. A wife gains nothing by allowing her husband to lead. However, she gains much from following his lead and submitting to him.
  4. A husband gains nothing by letting his wife by the head or being passive. Yet, he gains much by being the head of his wife and his family.

P.S. Titus 2 commands women to ‘philandros’ their husbands not ‘agape’ them.

The “Do your job” meme of Bill Belichick is an interesting one.

For those of you who don’t follow any football at all, Belichick is the coach of the Patriots and has won 5 superbowls with Tom Brady. He’s pretty much considered one of the best coaches of all time now if not the best given his consistency in getting to the playoffs, championship games, and getting to if not winning the superbowl. No other team has had as much sustained success. He’s famous for saying “Do your job” to his players because he gives them assignments to do when playing. If each individual does his assignment correctly, the team plays well together. If any one of them are slacking off, the team can look to be in disarray and dysfunctional.

This is a secular example, but I think it proves the point well.

Christians are followers of Christ. We are to follow what Jesus commanded us to do via the Scriptures. The roles and responsibilities of a husband and wife are part of this for some Christians. In effect, if you know what your roles and responsibilities are then you just need to “do your job.” Obey Jesus even if you don’t feel like it or your motivation is low. Obey Jesus even if it’s hard or you get criticized or whatever thing tries to get in your way from doing it.

Learning obedience is really like a sheep and a shepherd. It’s easy to wander off and do whatever we want to do. There’s temptations all around for us to get distracted and fall away. Our focus needs to be laser sharp on our shepherd so we don’t miss anything. Discipline. Consistency. Do your job.

This is one of the things that drives me to be a better husband, and to see my wife and hopefully future family serve the Lord. Talking is great, but walking is hard.

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15 Responses to Do your job

  1. Greed. In a world where gender roles are so mixed up, I think it’s important to remember that as Christians, the key to a successful marriage is in following God’s truths. Even the ones that completely oppose the world’s way of thinking. Maybe especially those. It seems we have a hard time accepting that God created us equal in value, but with very different strengths and weaknesses. Thanks for a great post, kudos for being bravely truthful.

  2. Pingback: Do your job | Diary of a Humble Believer

  3. I very much enjoyed this post – and have wanted to blog on this topic but I wasn’t sure how to go about it – how to put it into words where someone wouldn’t be offended, I hope you don’t mind, but I shared this, I just Hought it was so awesome

  4. Jonadab-the-Rechabite says:

    Here is the rub, when a wife is not doing her job, it is the husband’s job to teach, admonish, rebuke and correct her. (Some would call a husband doing his job an abuser) But when the husband is not doing his job, the wife is to keep silent on the matter and let her exemplary behavior of submission be an example to him. Not too many want to swallow the Biblical prescription in a world that thinks it knows it’s job better than God.

  5. @Jonadab-the-Rechabite:

    Because it’s hard, and you’ll be hated. Because Hippie Jesus isn’t asking it of you. Because it won’t put butts in the pew. Because it requires to reject the World and no one wants to do it.

    @DS:

    In my continuing effort to break down most of the stupid we tell ourselves, allowing the light of the Lord into the crevasses of that space, I find Christians never look at the Lord’s Commands as a combination of active, passive & directed.

    Active: Do this
    Passive: Do not do this
    Directed: Spirit Tells You

    It’s actually mentioned quite a lot, especially in the New Testament, and there’s obviously groups of Christians that are big on the Spirit. However, almost everyone misses the point because they lack Wisdom. We want to argue about the first two, but the third requires active participation of the Follower, but on the Lord’s schedule.

    If you don’t have Wisdom, you cannot Listen.
    If you cannot Listen, you will not Hear.
    If you cannot Hear, you will not Know.
    If you do not Know, you will never Do.
    If you do not Do, you have waste the gifts the Lord gave you.

    “The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom, and the knowledge of the Holy One is insight.” Proverbs 9:10 ESV

    I use that passage, a lot, because either I’m blessed with insight beyond nearly all other Christians or 6-year old me could figure out the chain that Solomon went through. Solomon was already King, but he sacrificed greatly and asked the Lord for “Wisdom”.

    “Give your servant therefore an understanding mind to govern your people, that I may discern between good and evil, for who is able to govern this your great people?” ” 1 Kings 3:9 ESV

    Solomon new his “job”. Or his Role. He asked the Lord to make him better at it, while he was already King. How did the Lord reply?

    “It pleased the Lord that Solomon had asked this. And God said to him, “Because you have asked this, and have not asked for yourself long life or riches or the life of your enemies, but have asked for yourself understanding to discern what is right, behold, I now do according to your word. Behold, I give you a wise and discerning mind, so that none like you has been before you and none like you shall arise after you. I give you also what you have not asked, both riches and honor, so that no other king shall compare with you, all your days. And if you will walk in my ways, keeping my statutes and my commandments, as your father David walked, then I will lengthen your days.” 1 Kings 3:10-14 ESV

    “Know your role” and “do your job”. When you try to do someone else’s assigned role, you fail at your own given one and make the job of the other person even harder.

  6. @ Jonadab

    Here is the rub, when a wife is not doing her job, it is the husband’s job to teach, admonish, rebuke and correct her. (Some would call a husband doing his job an abuser)

    Yup, that is part of the sanctification process as put in Ephesians 5.

    But when the husband is not doing his job, the wife is to keep silent on the matter and let her exemplary behavior of submission be an example to him.

    Yup again per 1 Peter 3.

    Not too many want to swallow the Biblical prescription in a world that thinks it knows it’s job better than God.

    The plain and simple Truth. Heck, let alone most people can’t swallow it… most pastors who are supposed to be shepherding the flock can’t swallow it.

  7. pamelaparizo says:

    Your first comment is that a woman gains nothing from loving her husband as if that is not part of her role. I would direct your to Titus 2:3-4 which says, “The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children,”.

    You say a husband should not respect his wife, but love her. Yet children are COMMANDED to love and respect their mothers and their fathers. How can children respect their mother if the husband does not? Children emulate what they see in their parents, and if the children do not see their father honoring their mother, they will not do so. It’s not the same respect, but it’s still respect. The husband should hold the wife in HIGH ESTEEM (part of the meaning of agape love).

    Lastly, what duty, what job can be done, if we do not do it with love and with devotion? The job will suffer if we do not. The overarching principle of Ephesians 5 is agape love, and if Christians do not have agape love for each other (is your wife not also your Christian sister?), then they are not Christians. Jesus said by your love for one another they will know you are my follower.

  8. @ pamelaparizo

    1. Titus 2 is philandros (affectionate) not agape (charity). I will clarify in the post above.

    2. Husbands are to honor their wives (1 Pet 3). Respect/reverence in the Scripture is “phobos” which is only reserved for authority. No, husbands are not to respect their wives but honor them.

    3. Context. For each different type of relationship there are different requirements. Christians are indeed to agape each other.

    Within the context of the marriage relationship the specific roles and responsibilities are HOW to express that agape. A wife expresses agape as she respects her husband and is affectionate toward him.

  9. pamelaparizo says:

    So, you get to decided how agape is shown? I think not. Agape means commitment, affection and high esteem. Affection is not an unmasculine trait.

  10. Jonadab-the-Rechabite says:

    The overarching principle of Ephesians 5 is agape love, and if Christians do not have agape love for each other (is your wife not also your Christian sister?), then they are not Christians. Jesus said by your love for one another they will know you are my follower.

    The overarching principle is to love God by keeping His commands from a pure heart, inspired from the world with a clean conscience. Paul tells us that elders must “rule” their household well. Rulling in no way eclises loving. To say differently is to imply that Christ cannot love us and rule us at the same time. This is the point of Eph 5, wives are to submitt to their own husbands and fear them as their Lord as the church is to do the same toward Christ and husbands are to rule and love their wives as Christ does His church.

    It was Satan’s scheme to provoke discontent in the woman for her station in life and test the man to heed God or heed his wife. Which one did he fear losing communion with more? The same test is given to husbands almost continually. Do you rule your wife according to the Word or for the sake of peace in the home and a piece in the bed allow her to blasphemer the Word? Nearly every accusation against the male and patriarchy is Satan’s trying to shame men into fearing others more than God. It pains me to experience the church executing Satan’s strategy for him.

  11. pamelaparizo says:

    A piece in the bed? A very godly response. A woman is more than a piece in the bed. That is the reason I question the Christianity of the men I see on these blogs. To you, that is the value of a woman. I think you should read Proverbs 31 to find the value of a woman. That is why your men have so much trouble finding one. A woman wants affection and value in the eyes of her husband. When you discount her to nothing more than a sex object you dishonor her.

  12. pamelaparizo says:

    The woman in Song of Solomon says the one whom my soul loves repeatedly. The Septuagint interpreted this with agape. Women should love (agape) their husbands and part of that love is affection. Men certainly did show affection in the Bible, and the Bible commands them to be affectionate toward one another. That means everybody, not just women. Jesus wept. Paul wept. Men of the Bible do show emotion. It’s not unmanly and for all these centuries no one has thought less of them for it. Affection just means fondness or liking for.

  13. @ pamelaparizo

    So, you get to decided how agape is shown? I think not. Agape means commitment, affection and high esteem. Affection is not an unmasculine trait.

    The hypocrisy in this statement is amusing.

    The agape that Christians show each other in marriage *is* their role and responsibility to each other.

    Thus, husbands are to love and honor their wives, treat them as they would treat themselves, and nourish and cherish them. Wives are to respect, submit to, and be affectionate for their husbands. Commitment and sex are also important facets. And so on.

    I’m not going to go through and list out every trait that is a role or responsibility in marriage because that is obviously implied and I’ve already done it multiple times on this blog.

    The same test is given to husbands almost continually. Do you rule your wife according to the Word or for the sake of peace in the home and a piece in the bed allow her to blasphemer the Word?

    Your responses to Jonadab and myself is clear you’re not actually reading what he and I are writing. He’s talking about ruling well VERSUS compromise your leadership for ‘peace’ and ‘sex’ which is a bad thing. Hence, the disparaging term to if a husband chooses to sin. He’s not disparaging wives.

    This is your first and only warning. Any other responses like this will get a ban.

  14. Pingback: Roles of Husbands and Wives: Perspective is Everything. – BlendingAme

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