Dalrock and Cane have had quite a few good posts recently about the nature of leadership.
- Dalrock’s Leading is serving
- Cane’s post on Temptations to husbands and wives from Genesis
- Dalrock’s Self inflicted reframe about foot washing
I wrote a couple of posts a while back on this namely,
- The Scriptures and temptations of husbands and wives, which goes through the various temptations of the husbands and wives according to the NT Scripture.
- Submission is a test of faith
In general, our submission to God is a test of faith — do we trust God’s promises or not? Are we willing to trust God and follow Him? This is true with any type of authority, and basically a picture of the marriage relationship as well.
Unfortunately, what we now see in the church is that marriage — Biblical marriage — has been so poisoned by feminism and broader culture. This is seen through multiple means like portraying husbands as fools, clowns, and the butt of jokes. It’s also seen in the push to “egalitarianism” and “complementarism” instead of patriarchy. It’s seen in the distrust of any leadership and decision making that the husband does. It’s seen in how a wife’s opinions are the bottom line.
- Churches and pastors do not trust husbands to make good decisions because they are so ingrained with the world. They try to neuter headship to just be the husband doing everything the wife doesn’t want to do. Decision making is to “break the tie.”
- Wives dwell on the “what if” and “exceptions” instead of submitting, respecting, and following their husbands leadership.
- Discussions of submission are either diverted to “mutual submission” or the majority of time is spent on “what if my husband tells me to sin.”
When the topic of “submission” comes up, most of the time should be spent on how to submit — how to stay humble, how to follow God or husband’s leadership, how to respectfully address any conflicts that may happen, and how to have a respectful attitude and actions when you disagree with a decision.
These things are not what happens when leadership and submission are discussed, which further poisons the minds of even Church congregations and sows discord in marriage relationships.
The core issue that needs to be addressed is trust. If there is no way to operate in good faith with each other — everyone is so poisoned by the culture to think the other is out to do evil — then you fall into Satan’s trap.
What is Satan’s trap? Living in fear.
1 John 4:15 Whoever confesses that Jesus is the Son of God, God abides in him, and he in God. 16 We have come to know and have believed the love which God has [d]for us. God is love, and the one who abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him. 17 By this, love is perfected with us, so that we may have confidence in the day of judgment; because as He is, so also are we in this world. 18 There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear [e]involves punishment, and the one who fears is not perfected in love. 19 We love, because He first loved us. 20 If someone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for the one who does not love his brother whom he has seen, cannot love God whom he has not seen. 21 And this commandment we have from Him, that the one who loves God should love his brother also.
If you live in fear, you do not know love. You don’t know God, nor do you have faith or trust in Him. The same is true of a husband and a wife.
My wife follows what I say because we have built up a bond of trust. My wife knows my character and my heart because I consistently choose godly actions. Thus, she can feel safe putting her trust in me.
When wives are poisoned by feminism and culture and unfortunately some pastors in the Church, they tell her that her husband is unworthy of her trust. She does not have to respect him. She should not follow him. He cannot be trusted to do anything right. This is the antithesis of the Scriptures.
Most wives do not have faith in their husbands. They lack trust. Many Church pastors do nothing to dispel that notion, contrary to the Scriptures.