The issue with Leadership is Trust

Dalrock and Cane have had quite a few good posts recently about the nature of leadership.

I wrote a couple of posts a while back on this namely,

In general, our submission to God is a test of faith — do we trust God’s promises or not? Are we willing to trust God and follow Him? This is true with any type of authority, and basically a picture of the marriage relationship as well.

Unfortunately, what we now see in the church is that marriage — Biblical marriage — has been so poisoned by feminism and broader culture. This is seen through multiple means like portraying husbands as fools, clowns, and the butt of jokes. It’s also seen in the push to “egalitarianism” and “complementarism” instead of patriarchy. It’s seen in the distrust of any leadership and decision making that the husband does. It’s seen in how a wife’s opinions are the bottom line.

  • Churches and pastors do not trust husbands to make good decisions because they are so ingrained with the world. They try to neuter headship to just be the husband doing everything the wife doesn’t want to do. Decision making is to “break the tie.”
  • Wives dwell on the “what if” and “exceptions” instead of submitting, respecting, and following their husbands leadership.
  • Discussions of submission are either diverted to “mutual submission” or the majority of time is spent on “what if my husband tells me to sin.”

When the topic of “submission” comes up, most of the time should be spent on how to submit — how to stay humble, how to follow God or husband’s leadership, how to respectfully address any conflicts that may happen, and how to have a respectful attitude and actions when you disagree with a decision.

These things are not what happens when leadership and submission are discussed, which further poisons the minds of even Church congregations and sows discord in marriage relationships.

The core issue that needs to be addressed is trust. If there is no way to operate in good faith with each other — everyone is so poisoned by the culture to think the other is out to do evil — then you fall into Satan’s trap.

What is Satan’s trap? Living in fear.

1 John 4:15 Whoever confesses that Jesus is the Son of God, God abides in him, and he in God. 16 We have come to know and have believed the love which God has [d]for us. God is love, and the one who abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him. 17 By this, love is perfected with us, so that we may have confidence in the day of judgment; because as He is, so also are we in this world. 18 There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear [e]involves punishment, and the one who fears is not perfected in love. 19 We love, because He first loved us. 20 If someone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for the one who does not love his brother whom he has seen, cannot love God whom he has not seen. 21 And this commandment we have from Him, that the one who loves God should love his brother also.

If you live in fear, you do not know love. You don’t know God, nor do you have faith or trust in Him. The same is true of a husband and a wife.

My wife follows what I say because we have built up a bond of trust. My wife knows my character and my heart because I consistently choose godly actions. Thus, she can feel safe putting her trust in me.

When wives are poisoned by feminism and culture and unfortunately some pastors in the Church, they tell her that her husband is unworthy of her trust. She does not have to respect him. She should not follow him. He cannot be trusted to do anything right. This is the antithesis of the Scriptures.

Most wives do not have faith in their husbands. They lack trust. Many Church pastors do nothing to dispel that notion, contrary to the Scriptures.

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13 Responses to The issue with Leadership is Trust

  1. donalgraeme says:

    This lack of trust extends, I think, to all parts of our walk. I suspect most Christians, self-avowed ones anyways, don’t trust God. And part of me doesn’t blame them.

    Trust is hard. Putting all your trust in God is indeed a leap of Faith.

    Honestly, I have struggled with it many times, and struggle with it still. And yet, when we do trust in God, things become so much simpler. So much easier.

  2. [i]”When wives are poisoned by feminism and culture and unfortunately some pastors in the Church, they tell her that her husband is unworthy of her trust. She does not have to respect him. She should not follow him. He cannot be trusted to do anything right.” [/i]
    And even further, that it is dangerous to trust her husband.

  3. Sorry, I messed up the formatting!

  4. Destroying “Trust” is always a focus. One of the many ways they’ve done it is making it stupid. It’s been turned into an either/or situation.

    Trust comes in levels. You Trust a person to X amount in Y areas. But they’ve worked hard to make that approach seem evil. (Note: they’ve moved from a Masculine to Feminine approach to Order in this, another intentional move.)

    There is pages & pages to be written on the subject, but it’s an area that’s always intentionally attacked. “Trust” puts obligations & duties upon those in groups. They play it as being against “Freedom”.

    @donalgraeme:

    Most don’t trust more than what is in their own hands, which is part of the way they undermine Faith. “Did God really mean that?”. From the Beginning to the End, Evil is as Evil does.

    Also, they actively conflate basic Trust with deep, years-built Trust. Another language-based attack on Christianity, Reality and Truth.

  5. earlthomas786 says:

    When wives are poisoned by feminism and culture and unfortunately some pastors in the Church, they tell her that her husband is unworthy of her trust. She does not have to respect him. She should not follow him. He cannot be trusted to do anything right. This is the antithesis of the Scriptures.

    Planting seeds of doubt in the wife is serpent talk.

  6. I’ll get back to it probably tomorrow, but there’s some interesting avenues when you start actually laying out the functional aspects of Trust.

    For as much as we say things like, “I trust them” or “I don’t trust her”, we actually don’t valuate “Trust” as a linear function, even when you split it up into categories. We actually operate around “Trust” as a revealed information function. This is why in the case of deep personal interaction with someone, we view it as having a better appreciation for when to Trust a person.

    We can break out each situation as, at least, two functions:
    1) Understanding of Trust Nature
    2) Positive or Negative Trust in the Trust Parameter

    You actually have a high degree of “Trust” in your enemies. You know they’re your enemies (high Trust), but you know they mean you harm (massive Negative Trust Value/Effect/Parameter).

    What we tend to mean by “Trustworthy” is concepts of Reliability and Consistency. Those are the higher marks within the 2nd function.

    The classic “Did God really mean that?” is designed to attack #2 by undermining your assumptions and trust in your own analysis of #1. Undermining #1 changes previous valuations of #2.

    Some mechanical aspects to think about.

  7. Stephanie says:

    I have a post set to publish tomorrow morning to that delves into this topic of submission (obedience) being based upon trust and faith in one’s husband and ultimately even in God. It looks at Sarah’s obedience to Abraham as the example for us to model.

  8. feeriker says:

    …unfortunately some pastors in the Church … tell her that her husband is unworthy of her trust. She does not have to respect him. She should not follow him. He cannot be trusted to do anything right. And even further, that it is dangerous to trust her husband.

    Replace the “some” with MANY.

    Tragic, sickening, shameful, and grief-inducing to see so many pastors and their churches so eagerly doing Satan’s work for him.

  9. Jonadab-the-Rechabite says:

    Most wives do not have faith in their husbands. They lack trust. Many Church pastors do nothing to dispel that notion, contrary to the Scriptures.

    Wives do not have faith in God, for if they did they would trust Him enough to obey His command to submit. Pastors and church inc. also do not trust God. If they did they would not worry about bring unpopular or having a small congregation. They would preach the Word in the fear of the Lord and let the chip fall where they will. Neither pastor nor wife have faith that God’s way of husband headship is the path to blessings.

  10. feeriker says:

    Pastors and church inc. also do not trust God. If they did they would not worry about bring unpopular or having a small congregation.

    This is an economic issue. Pastors fear smaller congregations = smaller collection plate contents = less income for them and their families. This is yet another example of a lack of trust in God to provide for His servants who speak His truth.

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  12. Paul says:

    This lack of trust is actually a lack of trust in God. God instructs wives to submit to their husbands. Can He not be trusted to be obeyed? It’s interesting that 1 Pet 3 seems to address a similar concern:

    “They submitted themselves to their husbands, just as Sarah obeyed Abraham and called him lord. You have become her daughters by doing good and by not letting anything terrify you.”

    doing good AND not letting anything terrify you

    Notice the character trait it is related to:
    “Your beauty should not be an external one, [..] it should be the inner disposition of the heart, consisting in the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which God values greatly.”

    A gentle and quiet spirit is a very beautiful thing, greatly valued by God.

    Compare that to the shrieking hateful behavior of your typical SJW feminist.

  13. Stephanie says:

    @Paul you basically stated my entire post – but MUCH more concise LOL!

    “A gentle and quiet spirit is a very beautiful thing, greatly valued by God. Compare that to the shrieking hateful behavior of your typical SJW feminist.”

    It’s interesting to me though that Sarah was pretty brutal to Hagar. In my opinion, Hagar reaped what she had sowed into the heart of Sarah, and God told her to go back and submit to being punished basically due to her pride. She had learn to live with Sarah despising her. And then God never really ever was angry at Sarah or punished her for treating Hagar with contempt. I mean even in 1 Peter 3 it totally ignores that she acted that way.

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