“You did this to him”

Funnily, enough, I agreed with much of this article over the break up of Mac Miller and Ariana Grande.

Mac Miller and Ariana Grande‘s relationship fell unusually under the tabloid radar for the majority of their two-year run. It was their breakup in May that finally captured public attention, especially since it was followed eight days later by Miller crashing his car while intoxicated and, just weeks after that, Grande getting engaged to SNL star Pete Davidson.

“It’s the most heartbreaking thing happening in Hollywood,” wrote Twitter user Elijah Flint back in May. Flint, like many presumed fans of Miller (as well as casual tabloid followers), didn’t find the heartbreak in Miller’s continuous battle with substance abuse — a battle he explored in his music and spoke openly about for years — but rather in the fact that a woman like Grande could, according to Flint, callously transform from being one man’s muse to finding love with someone else.

Grande eventually posted a long comment on twitter:

how absurd that you minimize female self-respect and self-worth by saying someone should stay in a toxic relationship because he wrote an album about them, which btw isn’t the case (just Cinderella is ab me). I am not a babysitter or a mother and no woman should feel that they need to be. I have cared for him ad tried to support his sobriety & prayed for his balance for years (and always will of course) but shaming/blaming women for a man’s inability to keep his shit together is a very major problem. let’s please stop doing that. of course I didn’t share about how hard or scary it was.

Miller eventually killed himself over a suspect drug overdose, and apparently people went crazy against Grande on twitter and Instagram.

The most Grande could be accused of is being very ignorant about entering another relationship right away after breaking up with a previous one. This is similar to shades of Asia Argento and Anthony Bourdain, where Asia was spotted with another man and Anthony committed suicide a few days later IIRC.

It’s pretty clear that both Miller and Bourdain literally thought of the women they were with as their “angel” and put them up on such a high pedestal that they couldn’t live with them once they left them. This is the exact wrong way to be in a relationship with a woman. The majority of the blame should go to these men for doing that.

Grande is right that she is not his babysitter or his mother. Nor should she be. In fact, it’s very unwise in the first place to enter relationships with anyone who has red flags like this.

The real question, though, is what if the roles had been reversed? The woman was struggling with drugs and addiction issues, and the man left the woman to be engaged. We’d probably see riots from all sides against the man.

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6 Responses to “You did this to him”

  1. earl says:

    It’s pretty clear that both Miller and Bourdain literally thought of the women they were with as their “angel” and put them up on such a high pedestal that they couldn’t live with them once they left them. This is the exact wrong way to be in a relationship with a woman. The majority of the blame should go to these men for doing that.

    Yes this ‘goddess’ mindset is just as bad for men as it is for women (albeit in different ways).

    The real question, though, is what if the roles had been reversed?

    Most likely riots…but you wouldn’t hear it from me especially if the woman he chose to get engaged to was the submissive God fearing type.

    Pete Davidson from what little I read about him lost his father young (firefighter in 9/11), smoked weed for a long time in his teens, and said he has BDP. So it’s not like she monkey branched to a guy who’s all there either.

  2. Grande’s response post strikes heavily against a bunch of strawmen, but, given the general characteristics of pop music fans, it’s hard to actually say that’s true. Those might really have been some talking points she was addressing.

    Still, she has a type (pasty white guys with drug problems) when she has the connections & looks to pull down far higher up the Alpha scale. That says a lot, and very little of it is a good reflection upon her. Given all of the places she’s worked/operated over the years, along with events around her, I’d suggest most Men to stay very far away. If, for no other reason, than the demons that clearly circle around her.

    I hope Mr. Davidson the best, but “run away” is probably the best advice.

  3. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    Perhaps this is a good sign, in an overall cultural sense. It means that someone is placing value on men’s affections. Usually, we hear crickets when men get dumped.

  4. purge187 says:

    A good rule of thumb: don’t get romantically involved with a woman who encourages her mostly young female audience to chant, “Wrist icicle, ride d*ck bicycle.”

  5. @ Looking Glass

    Definitely. She should not have put herself in that situation in the first place.

    Her choices in men to be with, like most rich and famous women, aren’t the greatest.

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