Opting in to the Biblical framework for marriage

One of the biggest and most overlooked concepts that the arranged marriage, courtship models, or dating models do not cover is that one must opt in to the Biblical framework for marriage.

As we have noted before, the Biblical commands to the husband and wife are unconditional. The husband is to be the head, protect, provide, love, cherish and nourish his wife. The wife is to respect, submit and obey, and be affectionate toward her husband. These commands are irrespective of any bad behavior or sins committed by the opposite spouse.

The problem with attraction (or romantic love) being the major component of a dating/courtship/marriage is that these things are conditional. Attraction may wax and wane depending on how fleeting the feelings of the husband or the wife or if certain mistakes or incidences happen such as becoming lazy, overweight, bad behavior, or sin. Feelings tend to be emphasized at the cost of duty and fidelity.

Arranged marriage is a bit more nebulous because there are varying ways that works. In some cultures, the husband and wife don’t meet each other until they’re getting married. In some others, like Jewish culture, they met at least a few times and the potential husband/wife had some type of veto power if they really didn’t like the other potential spouse.

Although arranged marriage probably results in a somewhat closer mimicry of Biblical marriage, a couple must still opt into the Biblical framework for the husband to love and cherish unconditionally and the wife to respect and submit unconditionally regardless of it the spouse goes on a bad behavior streak or even off of the reservation.

Getting husbands and wives to do that is hard, but that’s because humans like to weasel out of responsibilities.

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5 Responses to Opting in to the Biblical framework for marriage

  1. SnapperTrx says:

    Somewhat relevant, but its like anything else related to being a Christian: You choose to be obedient or not. You choose to adhere to Gods word or not. If you call yourself a Christian it SHOULD be a no brainer, but people are people and thus we have the modern day church and their scriptural shenanigans.


  2. Lexet Blog says:


    Sigma Frame and my blog have been discussing this issue as of late. Feel free to interact with us

  3. Wayne says:

    Deep Strength,

    I totally agree with you. The problem is that it is not enough to tell people the conclusion of the matter, because society is too far gone. I don’t believe that the average person has enough faith to take God at his Word.

    In my posts, I am attempting to lay out all the options in order that people may see for themselves that God’s way is best. It may not seem like that in some of my presentation, but I am sure that the conclusion will come to that. I also expect to find further details about the implementation of the various courtship models. Even for those people who do not come to the conclusion that God’s way is best, then at least they will know why Christians believe so, and being better informed, they will be better able to take responsibility for their own choices.

    I know you have done a lot of studies to this end, so I think you can contribute a lot to this topic. Your blog is the most extensive Biblical source of the manosphere concerning male-female relations.

  4. @ Wayne

    That’s a good line of thought.

    I’m not particularly convinced any one way is the “best” or “optimal” either. I think God uses marriages from any situation for those who are willing to trust and stand on His Word and believe in Him.

    It’s just that there are so few now.

  5. Wayne says:

    Yes, there are hardly any good role models at all. The ones I knew were of the Great generation, and they passed on a couple decades ago. The new (old) model(s) need to be redesigned and rediscovered afresh. The work lies ahead of us.

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