The Christian Brad Pitt thought experiment

This is a throwback for men who are interested in women, have girlfriends, or are married. I was reminded of this recently by someone who had a disagreement with his 18-month girlfriend, and she responded by literally giving him the silent treatment.

Basically, “Christian Brad Pitt” is a way to evaluate and gauge a potential girlfriend or wife and their interest in you.

What would happen if Christian Brad Pitt had a disagreement and his girlfriend was angry?

She definitely would NOT give him the silent treatment. She would be angry for sure, but she would also likely give him grace in the particular situation as she would still want to be with him. Perhaps she would approach the situation kindly and forgive the mistake. She would definitely make time to try to talk and figuring things out instead of run away and clam up. She knows she could be dumped and many other women would be willing to take her place.

To look at this further, if a Christian woman is going to blow up at small things, imagine how much worse it would be if you’re married and disagree on big decisions or likes to be contentious about every little decision. This is a very yellow if not red flag for the relationship. Avoiding/cutting someone off like that is exactly the wrong thing to do in a relationship that is headed toward marriage.

If this was me, I’d be very upfront and tell her that I’m not going to marry anyone who is going to treat me that way. If she’s going to pull stunts like this, it’s best to part ways. I would expect my future wife to be a mature adult and handle any disagreements with maturity, grace, and class. Someone who is serious about the Christian walk and unity over being disrespectful and petty with middle school girl behavior: the silent treatment.

Of course, you can apply the “Christian Brad Pitt” standard to multiple other situations too:

  • Is she interested in me? If she’s going out of her way to meet up with you or text you at every opportunity you betcha. If she’s really slow or days late responding or keeps putting off meeting up, probably not.
  • Is she wife material? Does she enthusiastically want to marry you for you… or is it because you are giving her things or she is settling for you? The enthusiasm is there for Christian Brad Pitt but might not be there for you if she’s half-hearted in the relationship.
  • Does she blow up or be contentious at the small things? She wouldn’t do that if she was married to Christian Brad Pitt now would she? She would be afraid he would get tired of her and dump her or be mad at her for good reason.

One of those things you should keep in the back of your mind and analyze if you are considering marriage. How would she react if she was with someone who is regarded as universally attracted and famous versus you?

If she’s not crazy for you, then that could be a possibly ticking time bomb underneath the surface. In some cases, it is better to stay single than to marry. You can devote more time to God, and you won’t be taken advantage of by a woman who may not fully take her vows seriously.

Edit: to add some more commentary…

Is this Biblical?

Good question. Sure is.

Luke 14:25 Now large crowds were going along with Him (Jesus); and He turned and said to them, 26 “If anyone comes to Me, and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be My disciple.

27 Whoever does not carry his own cross and come after Me cannot be My disciple.

Jesus, for Christians, is our “Brad Pitt” so to speak (though in reality, Brad Pitt can’t hold a candle to Jesus). We should be willing to give up everything, even our family, lives, and walking through significant hardship to the point of death to want to follow after Him.

Simply look at the example of the martyrdom of Jesus’ disciples:

  • Peter and Paul – Both martyred in Rome about 66 AD, during the persecution under Emperor Nero. Paul was beheaded. Peter was crucified, upside down at his request, since he did not feel he was worthy to die in the same manner as his Lord.

  • Andrew – went to the “land of the man-eaters,” in what is now the Soviet Union. Christians there claim him as the first to bring the gospel to their land. He also preached in Asia Minor, modern-day Turkey, and in Greece, where he is said to have been crucified.

  • Thomas – was probably most active in the area east of Syria. Tradition has him preaching as far east as India, where the ancient Marthoma Christians revere him as their founder. They claim that he died there when pierced through with the spears of four soldiers.

  • Philip – possibly had a powerful ministry in Carthage in North Africa and then in Asia Minor, where he converted the wife of a Roman proconsul. In retaliation the proconsul had Philip arrested and cruelly put to death.

  • Matthew – the tax collector and writer of a Gospel, ministered in Persia and Ethiopia. Some of the oldest reports say he was not martyred, while others say he was stabbed to death in Ethiopia.

  • Bartholomew – had widespread missionary travels attributed to him by tradition: to India with Thomas, back to Armenia, and also to Ethiopia and Southern Arabia. There are various accounts of how he met his death as a martyr for the gospel.

  • James – the son of Alpheus, is one of at least three James referred to in the New Testament. There is some confusion as to which is which, but this James is reckoned to have ministered in Syria. The Jewish historian Josephus reported that he was stoned and then clubbed to death.

  • Simon the Zealot – so the story goes, ministered in Persia and was killed after refusing to sacrifice to the sun god.

  • Matthais – was the apostle chosen to replace Judas. Tradition sends him to Syria with Andrew and to death by burning.

  • John – is the only one of the company generally thought to have died a natural death from old age. He was the leader of the church in the Ephesus area and is said to have taken care of Mary the mother of Jesus in his home. During Domitian’s persecution in the middle 90’s, he was exiled to the island of Patmos. There he is credited with writing the last book of the New Testament–the Revelation. An early Latin tradition has him escaping unhurt after being cast into boiling oil at Rome.

As Jesus said, if anyone does not hate his own life or is not willing to take up his cross to follow Him, then He cannot be His disciple. The interesting fact of why John was spared martyrdom is likely because he was the only disciple who did not run away and stayed with Jesus at the cross.

These are the similar roles of the Christ-Church analogy in Ephesians 5:

Ephesians 5:22 Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. 24 But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything.

25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, 26 so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless.

  • Jesus sacrificially gave himself up for the sanctification of the Church, and the (future) bride of Christ is to follow Him and do everything they can to respect and obey Him: John 14:15 “If you love Me, you will keep My commandments.
  • Husbands are to emulate Christ in his sacrificial love to help to sanctify his wife, and their wives are to emulate the bride of Christ to respect, submit, and obey.

To conclude, use this thought experiment to help gauge the interest level of a woman. If she’s only somewhat or lukewarm interested, singleness may be a better option than mar

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13 Responses to The Christian Brad Pitt thought experiment

  1. Jack says:

    This is great! 🙂
    The fault of this thought experiment is that it is just a thought experiment. If you were to put her in a room with the real Brad Pitt, the inner nature of her heart would inevitably show itself, for better or for worse, just as it does with you. If she lived with Brad Pitt day in and day out, she would grow to treat him just as well, or just as poorly, as she would treat you. Unfortunately, it only takes 5 minutes for her to defile herself with a Brad, and 5 years (or more) for her to grow up (to understand her own nature and take responsibility for it). So the point of this exercise is to see how well she understands her real nature and how mature she is.

  2. @ Jack

    Good points.

    One thing I’d slightly disagree with: If she lived with “Brad Pitt” day in and day out even if he was not acting as a leader, he still has the benefit of being a man that women desire. So it’s not exactly the same as a random husband whose wife treats him poorly.

    This thought experiment is a good assessment of a woman’s current interest and possibly a compare and contrast to past versus current relationship inertia.

  3. earl says:

    Did Angelina or Jennifer ever give Brad the silent treatment?

    Just because he’s a rich, famous cinema vet doesn’t mean that wimminz inner nature changes.

    In any case…I’d rather her emote anger or any emotion really than give silence because it shows she still cares. Silence or apathy is always the death knell.

  4. @ earl

    Jack made a similar comment which I clarified.

    1. This is a good ‘snapshot indicator’ of the state of the relationship if there is any attraction and respect.

    2. We can’t really tell if the actual Brad Pitt’s marriages were because he married crazy women (certainly possible) or if he acted like a spineless coward (also certainly possible). Hard to point to any particular blame without knowing more, but usually it’s some of both as we see in most relationships that fail.

  5. Jack says:

    If having a top quality man is the thing that would continually keep her passion aroused enough to motivate her to keep growing, then I would agree with you. But I believe most people are motivated by wants or perceived needs, such that once one need is fulfilled, they will turn their attention to the next thing.

  6. Lance Roberts says:

    Revelation was actually written much earlier, in the 60s. Some of it is prophesying the Fall of Jerusalem. “Paradise Restored” by David Chilton (one of the best books on Theology and Hermeneutics) talks about it a little. It’s hard to find currently since it’s out-of-print, I just ordered 2 copies used online, but I have an electronic copy if you’d like, just email me.

  7. earl says:

    But I believe most people are motivated by wants or perceived needs, such that once one need is fulfilled, they will turn their attention to the next thing.

    Especially in what we would certainly call an objectified system. Rather than care about the individual you married in good times and bad…you only care about your feelings. Once the feelings change then you justify changing your marriage situation.

    What we have now is that men are still generally vilified if they go after their desires or whims….however women are flat out encouraged to pursue every destructive and dangerous whim and desire they have and who cares about the consequences to everyone else.

  8. Thud says:

    If a woman can’t act like an adult in a petty argument and won’t reconcile, she’s unreliable in a crisis and not worth keeping around. Life is full of crises: illness, layoffs, accidents etc. I’ll put up with a lot but I will not tolerate personal unreliability in my life. Life’s to short to live with someone you can’t trust.

  9. Jack says:

    “What we have now is that men are still generally vilified if they go after their desires or whims…

    Rollo discussed this phenomenon in his latest post.
    I’d say he has it summed up from the evo-psyche perspective, but he’s not addressing the spiritual aspect. I mean, if it’s all about natural selection, then humans are no different from animals. I think Rollo’s argument, and the ideas brought up in this post, would be deserving of a study. There’s more to the story than just the battle between r&K selection.

  10. white says:

    “If she’s only somewhat or lukewarm interested, singleness may be a better option than mar”

    I agree, being with such a woman is like martyrdom

  11. ChristianCool says:

    Since you mentioned Brad Pitt…. Brad Pitt has a “wake-up call” when Angelina decided to falsely accuse him of a crime against the kids, of course, to gain advantage in child custody court dispute. Any divorce lawyer worth his salt will advise the woman to make a false criminal accusation, right before they file for the divroce, so she can steal the man’s primary residence from him in divorce and get the kids without him being able to present a proper case as to shared custody/joint custody.

    It is evil and happens all the time.

    The dude from Fast and Furious is here crying like a little kid because he learned how the feminist courts really work:

    Not to go off topic here…. but bringing up Brad Pitt reminded me of his false accusations and his shock at how easy it is for women to falsely accuse men and to steal from them… even the “alpha” Tyrese from Fast and Furious cannot take it anymore. The false accusations, endless legal bills, and divorce-raping him form his money AND child is too much.

  12. biggusriggus says:

    Good post and comments. That video is wow. Russell Crowe is another notable example – seems like a reasonably genuine guy as well.

  13. Pingback: How to evaluate sexuality compatibility as a Christian with no pre-marital sex and only chaste behavior | Christianity and masculinity

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