This is a throwback for men who are interested in women, have girlfriends, or are married. I was reminded of this recently by someone who had a disagreement with his 18-month girlfriend, and she responded by literally giving him the silent treatment.
Basically, “Christian Brad Pitt” is a way to evaluate and gauge a potential girlfriend or wife and their interest in you.
What would happen if Christian Brad Pitt had a disagreement and his girlfriend was angry?
She definitely would NOT give him the silent treatment. She would be angry for sure, but she would also likely give him grace in the particular situation as she would still want to be with him. Perhaps she would approach the situation kindly and forgive the mistake. She would definitely make time to try to talk and figuring things out instead of run away and clam up. She knows she could be dumped and many other women would be willing to take her place.
To look at this further, if a Christian woman is going to blow up at small things, imagine how much worse it would be if you’re married and disagree on big decisions or likes to be contentious about every little decision. This is a very yellow if not red flag for the relationship. Avoiding/cutting someone off like that is exactly the wrong thing to do in a relationship that is headed toward marriage.
If this was me, I’d be very upfront and tell her that I’m not going to marry anyone who is going to treat me that way. If she’s going to pull stunts like this, it’s best to part ways. I would expect my future wife to be a mature adult and handle any disagreements with maturity, grace, and class. Someone who is serious about the Christian walk and unity over being disrespectful and petty with middle school girl behavior: the silent treatment.
Of course, you can apply the “Christian Brad Pitt” standard to multiple other situations too:
- Is she interested in me? If she’s going out of her way to meet up with you or text you at every opportunity you betcha. If she’s really slow or days late responding or keeps putting off meeting up, probably not.
- Is she wife material? Does she enthusiastically want to marry you for you… or is it because you are giving her things or she is settling for you? The enthusiasm is there for Christian Brad Pitt but might not be there for you if she’s half-hearted in the relationship.
- Does she blow up or be contentious at the small things? She wouldn’t do that if she was married to Christian Brad Pitt now would she? She would be afraid he would get tired of her and dump her or be mad at her for good reason.
One of those things you should keep in the back of your mind and analyze if you are considering marriage. How would she react if she was with someone who is regarded as universally attracted and famous versus you?
If she’s not crazy for you, then that could be a possibly ticking time bomb underneath the surface. In some cases, it is better to stay single than to marry. You can devote more time to God, and you won’t be taken advantage of by a woman who may not fully take her vows seriously.
Edit: to add some more commentary…
Is this Biblical?
Good question. Sure is.
Luke 14:25 Now large crowds were going along with Him (Jesus); and He turned and said to them, 26 “If anyone comes to Me, and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be My disciple.
27 Whoever does not carry his own cross and come after Me cannot be My disciple.
Jesus, for Christians, is our “Brad Pitt” so to speak (though in reality, Brad Pitt can’t hold a candle to Jesus). We should be willing to give up everything, even our family, lives, and walking through significant hardship to the point of death to want to follow after Him.
Simply look at the example of the martyrdom of Jesus’ disciples:
Peter and Paul – Both martyred in Rome about 66 AD, during the persecution under Emperor Nero. Paul was beheaded. Peter was crucified, upside down at his request, since he did not feel he was worthy to die in the same manner as his Lord.
Andrew – went to the “land of the man-eaters,” in what is now the Soviet Union. Christians there claim him as the first to bring the gospel to their land. He also preached in Asia Minor, modern-day Turkey, and in Greece, where he is said to have been crucified.
Thomas – was probably most active in the area east of Syria. Tradition has him preaching as far east as India, where the ancient Marthoma Christians revere him as their founder. They claim that he died there when pierced through with the spears of four soldiers.
Philip – possibly had a powerful ministry in Carthage in North Africa and then in Asia Minor, where he converted the wife of a Roman proconsul. In retaliation the proconsul had Philip arrested and cruelly put to death.
Matthew – the tax collector and writer of a Gospel, ministered in Persia and Ethiopia. Some of the oldest reports say he was not martyred, while others say he was stabbed to death in Ethiopia.
Bartholomew – had widespread missionary travels attributed to him by tradition: to India with Thomas, back to Armenia, and also to Ethiopia and Southern Arabia. There are various accounts of how he met his death as a martyr for the gospel.
James – the son of Alpheus, is one of at least three James referred to in the New Testament. There is some confusion as to which is which, but this James is reckoned to have ministered in Syria. The Jewish historian Josephus reported that he was stoned and then clubbed to death.
Simon the Zealot – so the story goes, ministered in Persia and was killed after refusing to sacrifice to the sun god.
Matthais – was the apostle chosen to replace Judas. Tradition sends him to Syria with Andrew and to death by burning.
John – is the only one of the company generally thought to have died a natural death from old age. He was the leader of the church in the Ephesus area and is said to have taken care of Mary the mother of Jesus in his home. During Domitian’s persecution in the middle 90’s, he was exiled to the island of Patmos. There he is credited with writing the last book of the New Testament–the Revelation. An early Latin tradition has him escaping unhurt after being cast into boiling oil at Rome.
As Jesus said, if anyone does not hate his own life or is not willing to take up his cross to follow Him, then He cannot be His disciple. The interesting fact of why John was spared martyrdom is likely because he was the only disciple who did not run away and stayed with Jesus at the cross.
These are the similar roles of the Christ-Church analogy in Ephesians 5:
Ephesians 5:22 Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. 24 But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything.
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, 26 so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless.
- Jesus sacrificially gave himself up for the sanctification of the Church, and the (future) bride of Christ is to follow Him and do everything they can to respect and obey Him: John 14:15 “If you love Me, you will keep My commandments.
- Husbands are to emulate Christ in his sacrificial love to help to sanctify his wife, and their wives are to emulate the bride of Christ to respect, submit, and obey.
To conclude, use this thought experiment to help gauge the interest level of a woman. If she’s only somewhat or lukewarm interested, singleness may be a better option than mar