Wedding indicators galore

Usually if you look at pictures of the groom and bride, you can tell who wears the pants in the relationship/marriage. Who is leaning into who is a decent indicator, but also how happy the groom and bride are respectively can also be one.

Obviously, if the wedding turns into a BrideZilla fest, this is a pretty obvious indicator that it’s not about marriage but about attention to the bride.

One I’ve been thinking about recently is the naming convention. The bride taking the last name of the groom is not always the case that the groom wears the pants. However, hyphenating or keeping her own name is a pretty good sign that the Bride is a independent woman who don’t need no man type of wife though (unless it’s a culture where it’s normal for the bride to keep her own last name).

Something I’ve been paying more attention to recently is who comes first in the wedding invitations. Is it “Groom and Bride’s wedding” or “Bride’s and Groom’s wedding.” The latter from what I’ve seen tends to mean the Bride tends to wear the pants more, especially when you consider that traditionally the bride and groom in western wedding become Mr and Mrs Groom’s name.

I’m sure there are more indicators that I’m missing too. Have any readers noticed any others?

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5 Responses to Wedding indicators galore

  1. Reblogged this on Free Matt Podcasts and commented:
    Although off of my usual train of thought, this is something to ponder. You may or may not share these ideas but I challenge you to process the ideas.

  2. Michael says:

    I’ve noticed these things too. I will say that the traditional wedding invitation format is a sign that the marriage will be healthy. Even though the bride’s name comes before the groom’s, her parents come before both and are the ones extending the invitation, meaning that she is under her parents’ authority until the wedding is complete. Plus, it’s just a good indicator when people prefer older ways of doing things.

    Not getting married at the groom’s church is a big warning sign, let alone if he gives up his religion to marry her.

  3. Robin Munn says:

    Michael –

    Depending on why they got married elsewhere, yes, that can be a warning sign. But sometimes it can happen for perfectly fine reasons. For example, when my wife and I (who come from different home towns) got married, we looked at where our relatives and friends lived. Mine were scattered all over the place, while hers were clustered close to her home town. So we chose her home church to get married because that would allow the most people to attend the wedding easily. In our case it wasn’t an actual indication of trouble (she’s very Biblically minded with regard to spousal roles and is happy to submit to my leadership, and we used traditional vows including her vowing to obey me), but you’re right that in other couples it definitely could be a warning sign of un-Biblical attitudes in the bride.

    Come to think of it, this applies to pretty much any warning sign: it’s something to look at and investigate, but very few of them are 100% guaranteed indicators of trouble. Discernment is always needed.

  4. Michael says:

    Robin, you’re completely right, and I hope I wouldn’t misjudge if observing a situation like yours.

  5. Jonadab-the-Rechabite says:

    A couple of leading indicators: Are the wedding vows sappy or traditional? Sappy makes for an unstable foundation. If the vows are traditional, does the wife vow to obey her husband? Does the bride’s wedding dress reflect modesty and propriety as if her innocence and purity is reserved for her husband or does the costume display her back, shoulders and skin like a frame around the picture of her hotness on display for all to adore?

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