Teachable: one of the most critical traits in vetting a wife

Teachable is one of the least discussed traits that should be high up on the list.

The evidence for it is obvious:

Ephesians 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, 26 so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless.

The purpose of a husband’s love for his wife is for her sanctification. It’s not to placate her feelings or make her feel loved but so that she becomes more like Jesus. More often than not, this type of love will make her feel hurt or bad in the moment because it means correcting her if she’s gone off track.

This command via the Scripture is also a mirror of the failure of the first Adam with Jesus fulfilling the role of second Adam.

Genesis 2:15 Then the Lord God took the man and put him into the garden of Eden to cultivate it and keep it. 16 The Lord God commanded the man, saying, “From any tree of the garden you may eat freely; 17 but from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat from it you will surely die.”

Genesis 3:17 Then to Adam He said, “Because you have listened to the voice of your wife, and have eaten from the tree about which I commanded you, saying, ‘You shall not eat from it’;

Instead of reiterating God’s command to Eve that they shouldn’t eat from the fruit of the tree, he went along with his wife and disobeyed God instead.

Hence, the God-given responsibility is reiterated to us as husbands in the New Covenant in Jesus: you are still responsible for helping your wife obey God’s commands to help play a role in her sanctification.

This mirrors the Christian walk where we are made co-heirs and co-workers by Jesus to fulfill His command to spread the gospel and make disciples of all nations. The commands prior to the fall in Genesis are re-purposed for Jesus’ kingdom in both the Church and marriage.

It is very wise that you only marry a wife who is teachable. If you marry a wife that does not respond to correction or criticism that’s heaping trouble upon your own head. If they don’t respond to correction or criticism, it’s unlikely that they’re also going to want to obey God or the Bible to respect and submit either.

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7 Responses to Teachable: one of the most critical traits in vetting a wife

  1. SnapperTrx says:

    A huge problem stems from the fact that many churches teach christians that women are “more spiritual” or more “in tune with the spirit” than their husbands, leading both men and women to believe that women are somehow more right with God and more in tune with His will and teachings. This is the main reason why I left my last church, as the assistant pastor preached a sermon in which he said, “…men, if you are not willing to hear the word of God from a woman you are a pharisee – a white washed sepulcher filled with dead bones. And, husbands, don’t be surprised if, when your wife is more spiritual than you are, she stops being obedient”. Better to completely avoid all churches if this is what they are teaching, and it very much seems to fall in line with most mainstream church’s teachings that women being in sin is a mans fault because they lead women astray or don’t serve them enough.

    This is a good article, and wise, but men searching for a wife are going to have a hard time finding a woman who’s spiritual mind is not already conformed to the idea that she knows better than he could ever know.

  2. Bee says:

    Compliance testing is one way to assess if a woman is teachable to you.

    Also, do they ever ask you for advice or counsel? Do they ever act on your advice? (Not necessary for them to follow your advice every single time.)

  3. Ame says:

    being teachable is one of the most important things my late Mentor taught me. she was in her 70’s and still learning, still teachable, still mold-able.

  4. Wizard Prang says:


    Agreed. I have heard it said that “Women are the masters of the spiritual, men are masters of the sacred”. Or, to put it another way, Women are from Psalms, Men are from Proverbs.

    Women are generally attracted to a worship experience, while men are attracted to the challenge of battle, conflict and spiritual warfare. that distinction seems to be lost nowadays. Remember that when it comes to worship, children generally follow the life example of their fathers. Pastors ignore that at their peril.

    Look at your church during the “worship time”, as singing is called nowadays. Who has their hands raised? Who is enjoying the experience? Who is almost dancing with exuberant joy? Nothing wrong with that, but it is not the totality of worship, for it is written: “To obey is better than sacrifice”.

    Over the years, I have asked four different pastors to preach a sermon on Genesis 3:16 (“the other 3:16”, as I like to call it). So far, there have been no takers.

  5. SnapperTrx says:

    Here’s an idea. Replace that saying with this one:

    “But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.”

    But, I guess this doesn’t fly in the church anymore. Just sayin’.

  6. Pingback: Moon Day Review – Crack and the Red Pill | Σ Frame

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