What did they expect?

Men are afraid to mentor women after #metoo

LeanIn.org and SurveyMonkey’s new #MentorHer poll reveals Friday that 60% of male managers report feeling “too nervous” about being accused of harassment to interact with women in “common workplace” activities such as mentoring, socializing and one-on-one meetings.

That’s a 32% spike from 2018, with an additional 36% of men saying they now actively avoid women in junior-level positions — effectively chopping down their shot at climbing the corporate ladder.

“The vast majority of managers and senior leaders are men,” says Sheryl Sandberg, Facebook COO and founder of LeanIn.org, in a statement. “If they are reluctant even to meet one-on-one with women, there’s no way women can get an equal shot at proving themselves.”

Widening the gender gap is actually an abuse of power, she says.

“We’re in a bad place — no one’s ever gotten promoted without a one-on-one meeting, I feel confident in saying that,” Sandberg tells “CBS This Morning” host Gayle King Friday. “Senior men right now are nine times more hesitant to travel with a woman and six times more likely to hesitate to have a work dinner.”

Women — and especially women of color — don’t get the same amount of mentoring as men, “which means we’re not getting an equal seat at the table,” Sandberg says. “It’s not enough to not harass us, you need to not ignore us, either.”

Just so we get it straight:

  1. Women accusing men are to be regarded as truth (guilty until proven innocent)
  2. Less men want to mentor women because they don’t want to be accused of anything
  3. This obvious and logical response to accusation flinging is a male “abuse of power”

You can’t make this stuff up.

I’ve said before that feminism is the cause of its own problems and made that clear in the book, but I didn’t expect to be handed such an obvious example.

Now Sandberg says it’s time for men to “step up” and “redefine what it means to be a good guy at work” — before it costs us all a whole lot of cold hard cash.

“There’s not a company in the world that can afford to leave talent on the sidelines because it’s female,” she says. “But that’s what will keep happening unless all of us — especially men — commit to doing better.”

Always come down to the old “man up.”

Or maybe perhaps stop inciting women to vilify men?

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9 Responses to What did they expect?

  1. fuzziewuzziebear says:

    This is a good thing. The pigeons are coming home to roost over bogus sexual harassment claims. While Sheryl Sandberg may ask for women to have it both ways, it is not going to happen.

  2. Joe2 says:

    What Sheryl Sandberg, Facebook COO may have overlooked (or is reluctant to admit) is that bogus accusations of sexual harassment no longer just involve the accuser and the accused. The corporation gets involved when such accusations involve workplace activities. It’s all too easy for the woman to point the finger at the corporation by claiming it didn’t adequately protect her, it didn’t adequately screen the mentors, it’s policies (or lack of policies) regarding work dinners were deficient, etc. The bogus accusations can result in a big payday for the woman (e.g. Facebook has deep pockets) while the reputation of a male manager is ruined.

  3. Jacob says:

    Sandberg is proving once again that her advice is worthless to women. She’s not helping anyone. Ironically, the snake-oil she and her sycophants (males included) have been peddling does have some beneficial use: it makes the upward slope to positions of authority and responsibility more slippery for women foolish enough to use it. They prove by their gullibility their unsuitability to hold such positions.

    When I was an emphloyer, I was always wary of hiring Lean-In type women. They always, ALWAYS, pursued positions over and above their level of competence, then blamed others for their mistakes. The business costs of hiring women were always 30-50% higher than men, not to mention the constant harrassment and discrimination threatpoints which women leverage without compunction.

    It’s a fundamental law of economics that productivity peaks when workers are working at their level of incompetence. You can’t fiddle with the laws of economics and expect the economy to remain stable. No amount of #MentorHer can change this, even without the dangers of #MeToo.

    Sandberg has made a name for herself by driving women beyond their level of incompetence and then blaming competent men for not being stupid enough to comply. With #MentorHer and #MeToo side by side, men are faced with a choice between stupidity and foolishness. It’s no surprise that they’d cancel each other out.

    The house of cards Sandberg has been peddling for women was never stable. The workforce is NOT a house of representatives, it’s necessarily competitive and selective. The laws of productivity and supply and demand can’t be manipulated for long. The house of cards will tumble aooner ot later. I doubt Sandberg cares one iota about the impressionable fools who have bought into her Ponzi scheme. I wouldn’t be surprised if there’s a class-action lawsuit at some point.

  4. Sharkly says:

    Women — and especially women of color — don’t get the same amount of mentoring…

    Duh! Then with just a single accusation you’d be assumed guilty of being both Rapist & Racist.

  5. Novaseeker says:

    1. Mentoring is overrated. Seriously. It is. Many, many people get ahead in corporate America without intensive one on one mentoring. And honestly all of the women (professionals all) whom I have discussed this with over the years have expressed strong preferences for being mentored, if by anyone at all, by senior *women*, because senior *women* understand women better (d’oh). This is therefore from my perspective a mostly made up issue being used to needle men.

    2. One-on-one meetings aren’t that common, and they aren’t in my experience drivers of career advancement when they do happen. The key to career advancement is visibility (i.e., people who are making promotion decisions know who you are because they have seen your work) and networking (ie, getting other people on your side, by working for them or with them). It actually isn’t about one-on-one meetings for the most part — this is a fallacy. If you focus on the quality of your work and you make sure that people who matter are aware of it through networking, you will advance. And especially if you’re female because every company is looking to promote females to avoid being sued. I personally keep the door open during one on ones unless the other person closes it, and I have never had a female do that (other than a peer colleague who wanted to vent about the boss once … not a mentoring conversation to say the least).

    3. Business travel and one on one meals — I mean I don’t think it’s a good idea, but it has only very rarely come up, with either sex, in 25 years of corporate life for me, some of which involved a good bit of travel. Yes, there were some dinners with work colleagues when we were traveling together and some of those were one on one (with men) but none of them had any significant effect on my career trajectory because, again, the person involved didn’t have that power.

    The concerns here are overblown. They paint corporate America as a clubby boys club where all advancement decisions are made on the basis of one on one tete-a-tete type conversations behind closed doors. This just isn’t the reality of the matter. If it were, then women wouldn’t be dominating the middle management ranks of many companies, and utterly dominating entire disciplines (HR, accounting) of almost all of them. The issue with women not reaching the C-Suite level and being capped in middle management has to do with choices women make about commitment to their jobs (work/life stuff, not wanting a SAHD type husband) and not with one on one meetings and business meals. The whole thing is being blown out of proportion because Sandberg’s background is in the DC political schmoozing area, where it actually *IS* all about closed door meetings. That isn’t the case in corporate America for any sizeable operation, and there is no lack of women throughout these companies — there is at the top but the reasons for that are mostly driven by women’s preferences and choices, and not the Pence rule.

  6. Jacob says:

    It looks like this mentoring of women by men, in conjunction with a decline in marriage rates, is a grasp at a core benefit of marriage but without the marriage. It sounds like a secularized version of Eph 5:26, i.e. that all men as are responsible for presenting all women to a higher authority (not husbands presenting wives holy and blameless to God through washing by His Word in this case, but mentoring women so that they can command and control the world). It’s Eve and the serpent all over again.

    Another way to look at this is Gynocentrism, or Mother Goddess worship. This is basically the assertion that the Y-chromosome (men) exists primarily to adaptively protect and preseve the mitochodrial DNA which is passed down largely unchanged from
    mother to daughter (X-linked). I reckon this is at the root of the Feminism problem, which mimicks the Jewish problem that has always been an obsession with breeding and bloodlines. Social media may be another Jewish temple, led and controlled by priests male and female serving the feminine imperative. It could be mtDNA asserting itself again as the Western world abandons faith in Father God.

    If so, it’s the same spiritual battle in the eternal plane that we know has been played out many, many times since Creation. The battle wages on in the world even though the war has already been won by Christ. But it has been won, so there’s always hope.

  7. feeriker says:

    Yet another example of men being expected to “train their replacements.”

    F*ck that sh*t.

  8. purge187 says:

    “We’re in a bad place — no one’s ever gotten promoted without a one-on-one meeting[.]”

    No one? Not a single person?

    And why do we need to mentor women? I thought they could do it all on their own.

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