A reader writes in:
Was curious if there was any blogs regarding being ‘just friends’ with girls a guy’s interested in. I know in Rationale Male they say to decline the offer. was curious if its the same view point amongst the ‘Christian Manosphere’
The short story: chatted with a girl on an app for a couple weeks, went on a date. she wanted to meet up again, but changed her mind and instead sent me a very long text involving a list of reasons of why a relationship wouldn’t work. Now we chat once in awhile, through various social media accounts. Says she has a BF now and that were still friends on, says I’m welcome to visit her.
Am i best to ghost her? tell her where friends off cause its toxic for me (literally can’t talk to her without liking her more), Option C?? definitely don’t want to become a stalker or continue as an AFC.
I have a post on this a while ago on understanding the friend zone and escaping it.
Generally, a waste of time trying to leave the friend zone, unless something significantly changed about you.
Overall: you guys chatted. She classified you as a friend. If you want to be a friend, feel free. If not, just cease talking because it seems like she’s not interest and you’re better off spending your time elsewhere.
Most relationships of men and women devoid of romantic interest will peter out anyway, so it’s a waste of time putting effort into something that is not fruitful in the long run. I don’t really consider this ghosting unless there was mutual interest.
The girl above if she has a BF (which there is no reason to assume she doesn’t if her interest level is declining as you can see from the messages), she’s putting pretty much zero thought about you anymore. Most girls will say you can come chat with them to be nice, but they really don’t want to spend more time on unfruitful relationships either.
It takes 2 to tango, and if a girl is wavering in her interest for you it’s best to move on. You don’t want to be with a girl who is wishy-washy about wanting to be with you. It’s very easy for a woman’s feeling to change if she’s already feeling lukewarm about you from the start. You want someone who really wants to be with you and make time for you.
I think this type of thing is best done in person and to minimize texting initially if you are going that route. The more texting you do the easier it is to screw up burgeoning interest for your average man. There is also the issue of coming across differently than you are in person, which can be a big issue for both men and women.
The one exception is unless you are really good at generating interest from text which some men are good at doing (usually you need a good handle on how to tease her through text).