One of the observations I’ve made before is that “bad boys” tend to go against the system and in doing so exude confidence. On the other hand, nice guys go with the system and so to many women don’t stand up for themselves and are boring.
Perhaps ironically I didn’t really connect the dots earlier.
Since Dalrock’s genius discernment that chivalry is indeed anti-Christian, it makes a lot of sense for Christian “nice guys” to start fighting against the chase-the-woman system that is prevalent in the western world. Focus on pleasing God and focus on bucking the system, and you start to build the confidence and values that women are attracted to as a side effect of the process.
The parallel here is that you’re fighting against the world’s value systems for God’s. Once you’ve ingrained this into habits and know how to uphold it in both words and actions then you’re already most of the way there in terms of a strong, godly masculine attitude.
Or in terms of Adam and Eve, we’re fighting against temptation. Adam did not stand up to the temptation of the serpent and his wife coming to him with the fruit and obeyed them rather than God.
I think I’ve told this story before, but I am very anti-vegan. I always wondered why vegan girls were interested in me while growing up. Well, it turns out that when you have a backbone over your own preferences and will stand up and tease a woman (often in a fun and mercilessly though not harshly) for her choices. While this is simply a personal view, having values that will never change and making a stand and knowing how to communicate them well goes far. Even if they make you or others unhappy, you at least have your character and values at the end of the day especially if they are in alignment with God.
In terms of the married, many in our ‘sphere tend to always bring up that the system is rigged against us. Churchianity, the courts, families, friends, the media, and so on. Personally, I don’t care. So what if it’s rigged, and I ultimately get embroiled in the system and have to fight against it with my life? Isn’t obeying God more important?
I think when you can come to a place of peace about this, it’s much easier to operate as a the head/leader in your marriage and make the unpopular choices that obey God. Indeed, men who have the backbone to stand up will become more enriched as they grow stronger in the faith, while men who consistently cave to it will be reinforcing their own cowardice. This can be a hard cycle to break, but it must start somewhere. It does get easier over time. But you have to make the conscious choice to be ready to put God above the system.
Perhaps this additional view can help the single, in-relationships, and married men start to examine where they can stand firm against the system better.