Fighting against the system

One of the observations I’ve made before is that “bad boys” tend to go against the system and in doing so exude confidence. On the other hand, nice guys go with the system and so to many women don’t stand up for themselves and are boring.

Perhaps ironically I didn’t really connect the dots earlier.

Since Dalrock’s genius discernment that chivalry is indeed anti-Christian, it makes a lot of sense for Christian “nice guys” to start fighting against the chase-the-woman system that is prevalent in the western world. Focus on pleasing God and focus on bucking the system, and you start to build the confidence and values that women are attracted to as a side effect of the process.

The parallel here is that you’re fighting against the world’s value systems for God’s. Once you’ve ingrained this into habits and know how to uphold it in both words and actions then you’re already most of the way there in terms of a strong, godly masculine attitude.

Or in terms of Adam and Eve, we’re fighting against temptation. Adam did not stand up to the temptation of the serpent and his wife coming to him with the fruit and obeyed them rather than God.

I think I’ve told this story before, but I am very anti-vegan. I always wondered why vegan girls were interested in me while growing up. Well, it turns out that when you have a backbone over your own preferences and will stand up and tease a woman (often in a fun  and mercilessly though not harshly) for her choices. While this is simply a personal view, having values that will never change and making a stand and knowing how to communicate them well goes far. Even if they make you or others unhappy, you at least have your character and values at the end of the day especially if they are in alignment with God.

In terms of the married, many in our ‘sphere tend to always bring up that the system is rigged against us. Churchianity, the courts, families, friends, the media, and so on. Personally, I don’t care. So what if it’s rigged, and I ultimately get embroiled in the system and have to fight against it with my life? Isn’t obeying God more important?

I think when you can come to a place of peace about this, it’s much easier to operate as a the head/leader in your marriage and make the unpopular choices that obey God. Indeed, men who have the backbone to stand up will become more enriched as they grow stronger in the faith, while men who consistently cave to it will be reinforcing their own cowardice. This can be a hard cycle to break, but it must start somewhere. It does get easier over time. But you have to make the conscious choice to be ready to put God above the system.

Perhaps this additional view can help the single, in-relationships, and married men start to examine where they can stand firm against the system better.

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15 Responses to Fighting against the system

  1. Jack says:

    So the bad boys are actually more Godly men in some respects. But we can’t see it that way, because we’ve all fallen for the perverted concepts of masculinity and courtship in the world.

  2. Lexet Blog says:

    It’s not that women will see it- it’s that quality women will.

    As per the rest, See the tangential comments we have on sigma frames recent post (on mobile can’t link right now).

    The obedient christian is an outcast and bad boy in 99.9% of Churches these days.

    It’s uncomfortable to follow Christ. I’d say it’s more uncomfortable to part with fellow believers over doctrinal issues than it is to separate from the world sometimes.

  3. @ Jack

    So the bad boys are actually more Godly men in some respects. But we can’t see it that way, because we’ve all fallen for the perverted concepts of masculinity and courtship in the world.

    Well, they’re right to buck the system. I wouldn’t say that is godly by any means.

    They just do it for their own selfish gain which leads to the same path and end as the system.

  4. @ Lexet

    It’s uncomfortable to follow Christ. I’d say it’s more uncomfortable to part with fellow believers over doctrinal issues than it is to separate from the world sometimes.

    True, but many times part of it is finding out they’re cultural or social Christians… not actually true Christians.

    I think that’s a huge shock for Christians who are looking to do the right thing, but when you figure out that it’s pretty normal it’s not a big deal.

    And this will get better over time as Christianity becomes more and more unpopular.

    On the other post:

    I wouldn’t say that biblical marriage is illegal in our society. I would say that it’s untenable, unrealistic, and easily undone by our courts.
    It also mocks god’s model.

    The consequences don’t matter though. It’s much like the disciples preaching the gospel in Acts. They do it God’s way anyway. Maybe you could call it untenable, unrealistic, and easily undone, but you do it anyway.

    The interesting thing I’ve found is that when most people see it they actual think it’s beautiful and great as opposed to calling the cops or encouraging your wife to take you to court.

  5. Jack says:

    “The interesting thing I’ve found is that when most people see it they actual think it’s beautiful and great as opposed to calling the cops or encouraging your wife to take you to court.”

    This all depends on…
    1. The spiritual disposition of the wife.
    2. The wife’s willingness to be loyal, faithful, and submissive in times of trouble.
    3. God’s grace and mercy.
    Here, the importance of having a (Christian) social support group becomes apparent.

  6. Joe2 says:

    In terms of the married, many in our ‘sphere tend to always bring up that the system is rigged against us. Churchianity, the courts, families, friends, the media, and so on. Personally, I don’t care. So what if it’s rigged, and I ultimately get embroiled in the system and have to fight against it with my life? Isn’t obeying God more important?

    I just don’t see how you can fight against the courts. The courts and lawyers determine the outcome of a divorce such as property division, custody, support payments, etc. But you will have to hire a lawyer who will advise you of your rights as you are billed for your last dollar. And the courts cause the most damage. Churchianity, families and friends are more of a level playing field.

  7. Lexet Blog says:

    You can’t fight the courts at all as a man in family court.

    The most you can do is mitigate your exposure to family court. Let’s say you get church married and don’t file a certificate of marriage – you will still be subject to custody/child support battles.

    And even though awards of alimony are rare, the courts award high amounts of child support as a way of informally granting alimony.

  8. Lexet Blog says:

    Unfortunately you only know of that after the fact.
    I have yet to meet any divorced man who was helped by his church.

  9. @ Joe2

    I just don’t see how you can fight against the courts. The courts and lawyers determine the outcome of a divorce such as property division, custody, support payments, etc. But you will have to hire a lawyer who will advise you of your rights as you are billed for your last dollar. And the courts cause the most damage. Churchianity, families and friends are more of a level playing field.

    I think you’re missing my point.

    Joseph got sold into slavery for decades and got put in jail for a decade. Yet he still worked hard at everything he did. God was able to work through his life so he was effective for His kingdom.

    The disciples get thrown into prison for preaching the gospel. But yet they were singing and praising God in jail, and that allowed God to use that to spread the gospel.

    If you’re following God then to a certain extent your external circumstances don’t matter all that much. What matters is how you respond to them in a way that glorifies God, so God can use that.

    This is also an extension of the process oriented post vs results oriented. If my wife divorced me I’d be angry and sad for sure, but that won’t stop me from continuing to execute God’s mission and praising him.

    Meanwhile, living like you have no fear of man (and woman) by following God is the best shot to keep a marriage together because you won’t become the “yes dear” man that women become discontented with and end up divorcing.

  10. Paul says:

    It was Eve was tempted and deceived by the serpent, not Adam. Adam was seduced by Eve and decided to obey her.

    I’m not sure why, but it might be an ingrained trait to try to please her (even above pleasing God), or even there was already even some hinted sexual dynamic where he was thinking in terms of (sexual) reward? That’s all very speculative though, I admit.

    As for being ‘bad-boy’, it’s interesting how God instructs us to obey authorities.
    We first should obey God, Christ as Lord, the government, and possibly ‘the elders’ (although there’s some debate on the interpretation there). Children should obey parents, slaves obey masters, and wives obey husbands.

    As for leading your wife: it will only work if she obeys God and decide to obey you. Good luck otherwise.

  11. @ Paul

    It was Eve was tempted and deceived by the serpent, not Adam. Adam was seduced by Eve and decided to obey her.

    I’m not sure why, but it might be an ingrained trait to try to please her (even above pleasing God), or even there was already even some hinted sexual dynamic where he was thinking in terms of (sexual) reward? That’s all very speculative though, I admit.

    There’s nothing wrong with pleasing your wife. The issue becomes when it goes over pleasing God.

    1 Corinthians 7:32 But I want you to be free from concern. One who is unmarried is concerned about the things of the Lord, how he may please the Lord; 33 but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how he may please his wife, 34 and his interests are divided. The woman who is unmarried, and the virgin, is concerned about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and spirit; but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how she may please her husband. 35 This I say for your own benefit; not to put a restraint upon you, but to promote what is appropriate and to secure undistracted devotion to the Lord.

    As for being ‘bad-boy’, it’s interesting how God instructs us to obey authorities.

    We first should obey God, Christ as Lord, the government, and possibly ‘the elders’ (although there’s some debate on the interpretation there). Children should obey parents, slaves obey masters, and wives obey husbands.

    It’s not being a bad boy per se, but identifying all of the areas where the world conflicts with God (and there’s a lot).

    As for leading your wife: it will only work if she obeys God and decide to obey you. Good luck otherwise.

    No, it still works even if she doesn’t.

    1. You’re obeying God which is never in vain.

    2. It can definitely help turn a marriage around through influence. If you’ve ever read Cane Caldo’s testimony on him choosing God over his wife and how his marriage turned around after that it’s a good read. I’m not sure where on his blog it is though.

    3. It’s your best shot over staying a “yes dear” husband which is the slow burn to marital destruction.

  12. Paul says:

    Well, when a wife does obey you, that’s my definition of ‘works’. Of course it can still have other beneficial effects. However, don’t downplay the amount of suffering for the man involved. Including being arrested for being ‘abusive’/’domestic violent’ (have you checked https://www.thehotline.org/is-this-abuse/abuse-defined/ for the definitions? Have you noticed what’s written under ‘Male Privilege’? “Making all the big decisions”, “Acting like the master of the castle”, “Being the one to define men’s and women’s roles”). Again, good luck!

  13. Anonymous Reader says:

    Lexet Blog
    It’s not that women will see it- it’s that quality women will.

    “Quality women”, you need to take that idea out and bury it. Because it’s part of the larger cult of courtly love that Dalrock exposed and dissected. It’s a short slide down the slope from “quality women” to “women that don’t ever behave badly” or in Bible terms, women don’t sin. This falsehood is one of the tools used by feminists inside the churches to Betaize men

    “Quality woman” is a myth along with “soulmate” / “The One”. Every woman can be the “quality woman” at one time, and the exact opposite another time. See a number verses in Proverbs for examples.

    Finally, what women see or don’t see – does this matter? In secular terms, a man doesn’t care much what women think, he never makes a woman his mission. In Bible terms, “what woman see” and “what woman think” is of no importance, and making it important leads where? Well, why was Adam cursed, again? Specifically, what does that part of Genesis say?

    Search Rollo’s RationalMale site for his essay on “quality women” and read it. Then take the book of Proverbs and write down every quote referring to women. Yeah, I know, Proverbs 31 (“rarer that rubies” means…what?), but also what else? Maybe chapter 2? Maybe chapter 3?

    “Quality women” is a mental trap. It is bad for a man to think that way.

  14. white says:

    Deep’s theory of burying his head in sand and ignoring the consequences can be a legitimate angle to hold…. if he is also supportive of Christians who choose to forego civil marriage. Not surprisingly though, he is not:

    https://deepstrength.wordpress.com/2019/01/18/civil-marriage-and-private-marriage/

    Remember guys, you shouldn’t care what the world thinks or what it does to you… except when it comes to marriage. Then you BETTER do as the World says!

    Deep demands men not to complain about the status quo, then he demands men to follow the status quo. Then he demonize men who seek ways to avoid the status quo. It should be quite obvious by now what his motive is.

  15. @ white

    1. This is a warning. One of the rules about this blog is not to assume malice. If you continue to do this, you will be banned.

    I believe I do not have to explain to you why I am warning you given the tone of your post.

    2. Forgoing civil marriage literally does nothing. Countries and states will assume you are married/common law marriage if you’ve been living together, calling each other husband and wife, have kids, etc. If you’re taken to court by your spouse (husband or wife) then they’ll deal with you the same way.

    3. The better thing to do would be to avoid lawsuits among believers per 1 Corinthians 6 which could work. However, if someone has gotten to the point of wanting to divorce they’re probably not going to be calling themselves Christian most of the time anyway or wanting to deal with the Church so it’s a crapshoot.

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