Happy wife, happy life should be sanctified wife, joyful and peaceful life

It should be pretty obvious that happy wife, happy life is wrong. I’ve been trying to think up a better maxim which is theologically sound.

Ephesians 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, 26 so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless.

“Sanctified wife” is obviously what all husband should aim for as to emulate Christ’s love.

As one is sanctified and filled with the Spirit, the fruit of the Spirit become manifest.

Galatians 5:22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.

1 Thessalonians 5:16 Rejoice always; 17 pray without ceasing; 18 in everything give thanks; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.

Sanctification of both the husband and the wife should result in the peace and joy of the Spirit becoming manifest throughout the marriage, which is a witness to both non-Christians and Christian marriages that are not.

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13 Responses to Happy wife, happy life should be sanctified wife, joyful and peaceful life

  1. wodansthane says:

    I’ve been giving this quite a bit of thought myself, lately. It certainly makes things easier just focusing on the things that you should, and can do. It can be very trying when you have a wife in deep rebellion. I owe a huge debt of gratitude to you, Dalrock, and Anonymous Reader for helping me focus on and understand Ephesians. I’d like to recommend C.R. Wiley’s latest book, “The Household and the War for the Cosmos”, which is a commentary on Ephesians. Chris is a Presbyterian minister in Connecticut, of all places, and an able and harsh critic of complementarianism/egalitarianism. I’d say that he is clearing an abandoned trail that our faith had followed for centuries.

  2. Howie says:

    I really appreciate this DeepStrength. Many christians around us are unfortunately full of the worldly sayings, “happy wife, happy life”, “Guess you’re out in the doghouse”, “you come out to your mancave when you’re in trouble, huh?”, “Let me ask the boss”. It’s always hard to know what to respond when these just come at you and there is so much baggage behind these sayings. You can’t really sit them down, and start explaining why these fun pithy phrases that everyone laughs at are not really what Christian men ought to be thinking and doing.

    My wife suggested “Sanctified Wife, Satisfied Life”. Rolls off the tongue a smidge better, but the solid theological sound phrases are not usually as catchy as can be, haha.

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  4. @ Howie

    My wife suggested “Sanctified Wife, Satisfied Life”. Rolls off the tongue a smidge better, but the solid theological sound phrases are not usually as catchy as can be, haha.

    Nope, they definitely aren’t.

    Often times it is worth contesting with Christians and even non-Christians though as it can lead to a good witness

  5. Sharkly says:

    The saying that insults me is when men call their wives their “better half”. The grovelers are pandering to female-supremacy.

  6. Anonymous Reader says:

    The saying that insults me is when men call their wives their “better half”.

    I believe that is a fossil concept from the Victorian / Edwardian era. The Methodist denomination became very big in the US in the late 19th and early 20th century, and Methodists were very serious promoters of temperance and prohibition. The 18th Amendment created national Prohibition, the 19th extended the vote to women. In both cases much of the rhetoric was moralistic and emotional.

    Women were stronger supporters of temperance / prohibition than men. A lot of moralizing in those days focused on men’s defects and women’s strengths – this should be familiar to all of us now. The trope of “well meaning but temptable man” and “loyal and more moral woman” probably dates to sometime in the 19th century. In my sort of informed opinion the current “better half” trope dates to the 1920’s, with reinforcement in the 1950’s, but that’s just me.

    Now, I do not recall having ever heard any married man in my extended family using that phrase, but have heard it in other areas and unfortunately have heard it used by churchgoing men in a serious, not-at-all ironic fashion. It is almost funny when a man who claims to have read the entire Bible multiple times says it. Almost. But not quite.

    I hope that “mah better half!” fades away as the Boomers age out of leadership. It’s not just bogus, it’s harmful.

  7. Joe2 says:

    but have heard it in other areas and unfortunately have heard it used by churchgoing men in a serious, not-at-all ironic fashion.

    I’ve heard it used by men (non-Christian) in a sarcastic way, but I’ve never heard it used by churchgoing men. I suppose it could be used in a specific congregation as a kind of signaling to other men that his wife makes his life better. In other words she is an excellent helpmeet.

  8. Pingback: Happy Wife, Happy Life | Σ Frame

  9. Very interesting thoughts. My problem with that saying is that is has always put the wife as the center piece of the marriage. The woman os the “fulcrum”on which a man’s entire well being is based. That is not a good thing, but men can’t say that because they will get locked out of the bedroom if they do so.

  10. sanctification. such a powerful word. yes. if both partners can consider leading a sanctified life then much more can be accomplished. in itself this one aspect followed diligently can settle much of lifes issues. thanks for sharing. please continue to touch on such topics which are sometimes hard but relevant.

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