Sex and the city author regrets her life choices

To no one’s surprise, Bushnell ends up regretting the choice she made not to have a family.

“Sex and the City” may have left a trailblazing legacy for women on television, but the book’s original author now thinks her independent lifestyle may not have been as rewarding.

Candace Bushnell, 60, who wrote the original 1997 novel which spawned the successful TV series for HBO, opened up to Sunday Times Magazine about her 2012 divorce, admitting it made her realize how not starting a family made her feel “truly alone.”

“When I was in my 30s and 40s, I didn’t think about it,” she recalled. “Then when I got divorced and I was in my 50s, I started to see the impact of not having children and of truly being alone. I do see that people with children have an anchor in a way that people who have no kids don’t.”

Bushnell first rose to prominence with a dating column in The New York Observer, whose writings were anthologized in her “Sex and the City” novel. The series’ main character, Carrie Bradshaw (played by Sarah Jessica Parker), was created as a fictionalized version of Bushnell.

Sadly, it’s very easy to push off thinking about long term consequences of actions only to see regret at the end of the tunnel.

Sleeping around did not catch up with her and she did end up getting married which is fairly consistent with the upper middle class lifestyle that the show aimed to display. It’s also pretty crazy how many people are now anti-children as well.

Bushnell, who is now dating real estate agent Jim Coleman, is preparing to release a new book, titled “Is There Still Sex in the City?” The book, which drops in August, deals with what Bushnell calls “middle-aged sadness,” along with the new obstacles women face once they turn 50. And according to Deadline, the heavily anticipated book is already being adapted into a television series.

The novel follows a group of middle-aged New York City women who travel to the Hamptons in order to find a fresh start. In a recent interview with the New York Post, Bushnell reveals the novel was inspired by her real-life relocation to the Hamptons, alongside several of her friends.

“We’re all single women without children. And you think about, what are you going to do when you get old?” she said. “If you don’t have kids, you realize, ‘Who is going to take care of me?’ Your girlfriends.”

There’s always a way to spin it to be positive though. Don’t worry.

Marriage and kids are one of the things that bring the most happiness in life, so it’s crazy to me that the world has continued to move toward hedonism. I guess long term happiness is really sacrificed for short term pleasure in the sad twist of things.

This entry was posted in Godly mindset & lifestyle and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

43 Responses to Sex and the city author regrets her life choices

  1. Jack says:

    I hope all the fans of that TV show get the message.

  2. Kevin says:

    Thanks for finding this interview. It is sad but not the least bit surprising.

  3. Jack Russell says:

    Jack: Most of the fans of that dreadful show are 40+. They got the message, but will not admit they were wrong.

  4. Kirk says:

    There is only 1 thing greater than the blessing of children and that is the most high and his son. My heart hurts for people who never experience the blessing of children. But your heart and soul has to be in it 100%. No part time moms or dads need apply. Mother and fatherhood might be the most important job in this Earthly life. I just count my blessing every day that the lord has blessed me to be a father and a dad.

  5. feeriker says:

    I hope all the fans of that TV show get the message.

    Unfortunately, fans of such shows are not normally the type of introspective people who “get messages.”

    If you don’t have kids, you realize, ‘Who is going to take care of me?’ Your girlfriends.”

    I think she’s going to be in for a very unpleasant surprise here. The evidence that aged, bitter, lonely, wine-bibbing cat ladies “take care of” one another in their aged spinsterhood seems pretty scant.

  6. Bardelys the Magnificent says:

    I hope all the fans of that TV show get the message.

    Unfortunately, unless that message is coded inside another popular TV show, they will not.

  7. Anonymous Reader says:

    Jack
    I hope all the fans of that TV show get the message.

    The show ran from 1998 – 2004. More or less 20 years ago. Do the arithmetic.

    Although it apparently is in heavy re-run rotation, so teenaged girls can still be exposed to Sarah Jessica Parker as Carrie Bradshaw.

  8. When does a woman feel regret?

    Who cares!

    Female happiness is a false idol. Women << Men. I know this is pathological for us, since we are not untouchable state functionaries, but maybe we should be concerned about what is good for us and not what is good for women, how they 'feel' in particular. Want to help women? Be cold authority and help yourself. Women don't really have emotions, but instinctively they know men do, I think white women the most because of the extreme sympathy of white men.

  9. Oscar says:

    Candace Bushnell, 60…
    ……
    The series’ main character, Carrie Bradshaw (played by Sarah Jessica Parker), was created as a fictionalized version of Bushnell.
    ……
    Bushnell, who is now dating real estate agent Jim Coleman…

    What the hell is wrong with that guy? If he’s the same James Coleman in this NYT article….

    …. he’s not exactly Brad Pitt, but he’s younger than Bushnell, and he’s wealthy as hell. He seriously couldn’t do better than a used up, dusty, 60-year-old giga-slut who publicized her sluttery internationally?

  10. Jack says:

    “He seriously couldn’t do better than a used up, dusty, 60-year-old giga-slut who publicized her sluttery internationally?”

    I think this just goes to show that (1) the quality of American women has fallen so low that wimmin like Carrie Bradshaw are still considered do-able, and also that (2) male altruism (and the thirst for sex and companionship which motivates it) has no rational bounds.

  11. Jonadab-the-Rechabite says:

    To use idioms from the manasphere, after decades riding on the carousel, she fails to stick the landing. Only one option left, make that hamster wheel go round and round, because repentance is out of the question.

    Moral of the story, sluts like Gomer are often abandoned and sold at slave auctions because they valued “independence” more than covenant. Real contentment and joy are found in living the sex-role God designed according to his blueprint for holiness. Everything else is just a chocolate covered turd.

  12. thedeti says:

    The article is from FoxNews, dated July 29, 2019. So this is almost a year and a half ago, in The Era Before Covid and The End of The World As We Know It.

    Meanwhile, Bushnell is still capitalizing on her Sex and the City fame.

    candacebushnell.com

    She’s published two books since then: “Is There Still Sex In the City”; in which she apparently navelgazes about marriage, divorce, love, sex, and loss. And “Rules For Being a Girl”, a novel about high school girls. (I’m trying to imagine Bushnell writing young adult fiction.)

    Looks like Bushnell cried all the way to the bank. Everyone will please pardon me for smirking at her crocodile tears.

  13. Sharkly says:

    Statistics people!
    So, of millions and millions of women who lived the careless unattached whore lifestyle, one of the few who got rich and famous off of marketing that depravity to other suckers, is being portrayed as presenting a realistic life-script that can now work for every woman. They have picked an extremely rare outcome and are deceitfully presenting it as if it were casually available to most women. What about all the millions and millions of other “strong” independent sluts that ended up lonely, or alcoholics, or bitter, or crazy and permanently medicated, or obese lesbians, or suicidal, or meth-heads, or crack whores, or die before their time? When do the other 99.9% of outcomes get taught to women by Hollywood?
    No, women get to learn that on their own.
    If they loved women they would want women’s self-destructive rebellious impulses repressed so that they could achieve the joyful contentment of a holy housewife, that truly is still available to most every woman.

  14. Elspeth says:

    In reality, men who can “do better” choose older women all the time.

    I know several not as well situated or as well preserved as Ms. Bushnell who landed decent men who could have “done better”.

    Men are emotional too, quiet as its kept. All it takes is a woman who figures out what moves a particular man’s emotions.

  15. Oscar says:

    @ Elspeth

    I know several not as well situated or as well preserved as Ms. Bushnell who landed decent men who could have “done better”.

    Sure, but did those women get ridden as hard, and by as many riders as Ms. Bushnell? And did they broadcast their escapades in excruciating detail to the entire world? Ms. Bushnell’s age is the least alarming of her black flags.

  16. Oscar says:

    @ Sharkly

    If “careless unattached whores” were capable of reason, they’d never live the “careless unattached whore lifestyle”.

    By the way, you’re in Kansas, right? I’m in Missouri.

  17. riversunset says:

    I agree with what you said, and think this author’s views are a major reason why women avoid marriage and children. In my readings online, the attitudes toward marriage of young people seem to come from hedonism. Based on my upbringing, I wonder how bad marriages affect young people’s attitudes toward marriage.

    I am a man, and as a child my parents were very violent to one another on a regular basis for many years. The violence was quite terrifying, getting close to broken bones. There was little joy in my life. As a child, I was afraid of marriage for this reason. Since both my parents were guilty of the violence, I didn’t develop the unhealthy coping mechanism of blaming either men or women as a whole.. I am not sure how to articulate my thoughts at this moment, as I still struggle with severe depression from being raised in this environment.

    I just wonder if this type of situation is common and how it affects people’s attitudes toward marriage. I am not afraid of marriage anymore. Similarly, my parents were religious. They would go to church on Sunday and act like a happy couple in public. That led me to not want to go to church or believe in religion. Today, my beliefs are complicated and I don’t feel like I fit in anywhere.
    When I finally got the courage to talk about the violence to my friends, only one believed me and she wasn’t even a close friend. This made me feel like I was going insane.

    I feel like it is hard to for someone to understand how growing up in this environment affects you. It is very difficult to talk about. I wonder how much of it occurs, and if it’s overlooked by those who did not experience it.

  18. Joe2 says:

    I just wonder if this type of situation is common and how it affects people’s attitudes toward marriage. I am not afraid of marriage anymore. Similarly, my parents were religious. They would go to church on Sunday and act like a happy couple in public. That led me to not want to go to church or believe in religion. Today, my beliefs are complicated and I don’t feel like I fit in anywhere. When I finally got the courage to talk about the violence to my friends, only one believed me and she wasn’t even a close friend. This made me feel like I was going insane.

    Did we grow up together in the same household? Very similar, except instead of violence there was an atmosphere of tension and dread that something bad was going to happen.

  19. Oscar says:

    @ riversunset

    Please accept my deepest sympathies for the terrible childhood that your parents imposed on you. It’s nearly impossible for those of us who never suffered as you did to imagine what it was like to grow up that way.

    Have you, by chance, sought out professional help to work through the residual fears, and other feelings?

  20. Sharkly says:

    “By the way, you’re in Kansas, right? I’m in Missouri.”
    Well, I live in Kansas, but I also live in misery too.

  21. Sharkly says:

    “All it takes is a woman who figures out what moves a particular man’s emotions.
    LOL
    Women make it sound like it takes a degree in rocket surgery to be just who God created them to be, towards a man.
    Most every man in the world just wants a reverent helper that always obeys them, adores them, and is loving to them. There is nothing to figure out, except whether or not she want to be that, to that man. My wife was exactly that to me, right up until I married her. Getting almost any decent man to love and marry a woman is as easy as just doing that wholeheartedly while not letting her inner crazy out to ruin it.
    The only hitch is women are taught to think that being who God made them to be is “being a doormat” and that men really want some insufferable smart-ass who will argue with them and compete against them, ‘cuz Hollywood romantic comedies all teach that.

  22. Elspeth says:

    Sure, but did those women get ridden as hard, and by as many riders as Ms. Bushnell? And did they broadcast their escapades in excruciating detail to the entire world? Ms. Bushnell’s age is the least alarming of her black flags.

    I agree with you, but as usual, Internet denizens of a certain sphere have a terrible problem with projecting their masculine standards onto the larger masculine culture. I have watched obese, promiscuous, non-feminine young women get rings and the only thing that could possibly commend them is the fact that they were willing to give thirsty men a consistent supply of sex. This is what happens in the real world. Chaste young women, even relatively good looking ones are more trouble than they are worth to most men. Don’t forget, most men leave the church upon young adulthood, at an even greater rate than young women.

    In the case of Bushnell, even with all her baggage, she’s relatively good looking (especially for a 60 year-old white woman. My 69 year-old stepmother actually looks much better, LOL). Bushnell rich, attractive, she has status. This man isn’t looking for a Titus 2 woman. As such, she ticks the boxes on HIS list, not on the list of Christian men. We live in a post-Christian society, recall.

    Women make it sound like it takes a degree in rocket surgery to be just who God created them to be, towards a man.

    I agree with you, and don’t think it’s all that hard, actually. It’s probably the easiest thing in the world, as most women know how to play the game long enough to procure commitment. My comment was presented from the perspective of answering Oscar’s question, “Why would a rich, eligible bachelor go for a woman like THAT?”

    It’s not that hard to figure out really.

  23. Chris says:

    Never understood how Sarah Jessica Parker became a sex symbol. She looks like Seabiscuit.

  24. Joe2 says:

    Here’s a picture of the couple. By the way, Bushnell was previously married for 10 years to Charles Askegard, a principal dancer with the New York City Ballet. She divorced him in 2012.

    https://nypost.com/2019/07/27/sex-and-the-city-creator-talks-vaginal-rejuvenation-and-finding-mr-bigger/

  25. Oscar says:

    @ Sharkly

    Well, I live in Kansas, but I also live in misery too.

  26. Oscar says:

    @ Elspeth

    I have watched obese, promiscuous, non-feminine young women get rings and the only thing that could possibly commend them is the fact that they were willing to give thirsty men a consistent supply of sex.

    True. I’ve also observed such travesty, although it’s usually low-quality, low-status men.

    Chaste young women, even relatively good looking ones are more trouble than they are worth to most men.

    Also true. I’ve explained that to my daughters.

    In the case of Bushnell, even with all her baggage, she’s relatively good looking (especially for a 60 year-old white woman. My 69 year-old stepmother actually looks much better, LOL).

    Well, black don’t crack, so…. no fair.

    Bushnell rich, attractive, she has status. This man isn’t looking for a Titus 2 woman. As such, she ticks the boxes on HIS list, not on the list of Christian men. We live in a post-Christian society, recall.

    Can’t argue with that.

    It’s probably the easiest thing in the world, as most women know how to play the game long enough to procure commitment.

    In my experience, it starts with little girls manipulating their fathers. Ask me how I know that.

    It’s not that hard to figure out really.

    Alright, alright. No need to rub it in.

  27. Oscar says:

    @ Joe2

    By the way, Bushnell was previously married for 10 years to Charles Askegard, a principal dancer with the New York City Ballet. She divorced him in 2012.

    In a surprising twist, old Charlie is not gay.

    https://people.com/celebrity/candace-bushnell-divorce-husband-has-affair-with-ballerina/

    In court papers, Bushnell, 53, claims Askegard had an affair, according to the New York Post, with ballerina Georgina Pazcoguin.

  28. Oscar says:

    @ Chris

    Never understood how Sarah Jessica Parker became a sex symbol. She looks like Seabiscuit.

    I’ll have you know, sir; Seabiscuit was a hero, who inspired the country during the Great Depression!

  29. feeriker says:

    Don’t forget, most men are driven out of the church upon young adulthood, at an even greater rate than young women.

    FIFY.

    OK, maybe there’s no deliberately orchestrated campaign to drive men out of the church, but the combination of ignoring and shaming them has the same effect.

  30. Danny70 says:

    Any woman can go on a dating site and find an endless number of suckers that will give them whatever they want. Most guys are complete simps from beginning to end.

  31. Anonymous Reader says:

    Bushnell is an obvious example of something Novaseeker points out from time to time: there are women who “stick the landing”. Usually they are in the UMC and have access to resources that more ordinary women do not, which is why they can be such destructive role models.

    SATC arguably convinced a cohort of 20-something women that moving to the big city as an intern or with a crummy job would lead to fun-slutting with a great group of girls, and then eventually marriage to Mr. Big – probably at the age of 29.999. It’s the standard feminist life track, as get pointed out over and over in the ‘sphere.

    But it’s also like buying lottery tickets, and yes, there are people who win big money playing the lottery. Assuming nobody ever wins a lottery is just dumb, yet as Elspeth pointed out there are way too many men in the ‘sphere who take that position with regard to women over 40.

    We can’t do a thing about the media power behind Carrie Bradshaw. We can just point out the facts to people around us, and manage those we have authority over.

  32. feeriker says:

    Any woman can go on a dating site and find an endless number of suckers that will give them whatever they want. Most guys are complete simps from beginning to end.

    I remember a semi-regular poster on Dalrock’s blog named Mark, a Jewish guy from Toronto, who talked about a dating service having an office in a commercial building he and his family owned there. He mentioned that on at least a half dozen occasions over the last few years the woman who owned the dating service would hold “meet and greets” at the office, sending out invitations to every single man whose name she could get ahold of to attend these mixer events, as apparently there was a dearth of men responding to he female clients’ profiles. Mark said that he had a couple of single friends attend the events as “plants” and that in each case, his friend reported he was one of no more than three guys to attend the event, versus 120-plus women. He said that the proprietress of the dating service used to nag him constantly about providing names of friends, as well as nagged HIM to participate (he was single himself). He flat-out told her (I’m of course paraphrasing here) “if you can’t offer something valuable to MEN that would induce them to participate, then you’re never going to get anywhere in your business. You’re obviously not offering them anything to induce them to waste their time and/or money with you or your female clients, so they’re not interested in you and what you’re selling. What would you offer them to get them to change their minds?”

    He said that, essentially, the woman gave him a stupid look, as if he had been speaking to her in Martian. The idea of considering MEN as customers with wants or needs of importance equal to those of women never occurred to her. That’s when he knew that she wouldn’t be in business for very long. If more men treated dating sites like the men in Mark’s example treated them (i.e., ignore them and the women with hyper-inflated egos and self-conferred SMVs who patronize them) and just stop chasing, then the situation would soon begin to reverse itself. Thirsty simps/chumps are a by-product of men chasing women (Aaron Clarey [a.k.a. Captain Capitalism] has addressed this in several articles and podcasts).

  33. Danny70 says:

    The average 50 year old woman is invisible in real life but gets the attention of a model on a dating site. Unfortunately I don’t see the number of thirsty men decreasing.

  34. @ Oscar

    In a surprising twist, old Charlie is not gay.

    https://people.com/celebrity/candace-bushnell-divorce-husband-has-affair-with-ballerina/

    In court papers, Bushnell, 53, claims Askegard had an affair, according to the New York Post, with ballerina Georgina Pazcoguin.

    It’s actually not surprising. She was famous/rich/attractive enough to marry someone she was attracted to, but of course the men she was attracted to were players who would be much more likely to cheat on her.

    That’s how it goes when you ride the cock carousel.

  35. Oscar says:

    @ Deep Strength

    It’s actually not surprising. She was famous/rich/attractive enough to marry someone she was attracted to, but of course the men she was attracted to were players who would be much more likely to cheat on her.

    It was a crude joke about male ballet dancers. But then, I can see how a heterosexual male ballet dancer could be very successful with the ladies.

  36. Novaseeker says:

    Bushnell is an obvious example of something Novaseeker points out from time to time: there are women who “stick the landing”. Usually they are in the UMC and have access to resources that more ordinary women do not, which is why they can be such destructive role models.

    Yes — it’s risky for women, as you say, however. It does help if you look like Bushnell has looked for most of her life. Here is a shot of her from 10 years ago, around age 50. Not anything like a fresh-faced 25 year old, it goes without saying, but very close to the top of the class for a non-model 50 year old white woman.

    https://www.thetimes.co.uk/imageserver/image/%2Fmethode%2Fsundaytimes%2Fprodmigration%2Fweb%2Fbin%2F37b97182-9174-49b9-8c66-4190e5182bf3.jpg?crop=580%2C350%2C0%2C0

  37. thedeti says:

    The idea of considering MEN as customers with wants or needs of importance equal to those of women never occurred to her.

    Thirsty simps and chumps are the reason why. Cads and players are always around for hot fun sexy sex in her 20s. Simps and chumps are always around in her 30s to wife her up so that maybe they’ll finally get a taste of what they’ve been missing. And yes, they’re low value, low quality men.

    Bushnell is a case in point, sort of. Here’s her first husband, ballet dancer Charles Askegard, with Bushnell circa 2010:

    https://observer.com/2016/09/candace-bushnells-ex-sells-fifth-avenue-bachelor-pad/

    Good looking, trim, engaging. He’s a professional dancer with the body of a world class athlete, charming smile, good money, and access to beautiful, in shape women.

    And her second husband is up there, where Oscar posted. His selling point is… he’s got money.

    Women like Bushnell can always get men. Low value, low quality men, but men nonetheless.

  38. thedeti says:

    I have watched obese, promiscuous, non-feminine young women get rings and the only thing that could possibly commend them is the fact that they were willing to give thirsty men a consistent supply of sex. This is what happens in the real world.

    The men giving rings to these fat nonfeminine sluts are low value, low quality men. These fat nonfeminine sluts are the only women these low value, low quality men can get. So it’s pretty on par with the world: Low value women selecting high value men for sex and then selecting low value men for marriage. The sphere has been saying this for at least 15 years.

    Chaste young women, even relatively good looking ones are more trouble than they are worth to most men.

    Whose fault is that? Not men’s. Maybe these chaste young women could figure out ways to be assets to young men, instead of “trouble”. Maybe these chaste young women could select a man for marriage and then marry him by age 20 or 21.

    And where are all these chaste young women, anyway? I’ve been asking this question for at least 7 years around here, and no one has yet been able to answer it or point me to where they are.

    Don’t forget, most men leave the church upon young adulthood, at an even greater rate than young women.

    No. Most men are kicked out of the church, or driven out through shaming, ignoring, browbeating, and harping on them to avoid porn and “man up and marry the sluts!”

  39. Elspeth says:

    And where are all these chaste young women, anyway? I’ve been asking this question for at least 7 years around here, and no one has yet been able to answer it or point me to where they are.

    My interest is in a very small subset of women -who I know and whose lives I know very well, and not in a delusional sense. It is their specific experiences to which I can attest, deti. Sorry if that’s not good enough.

    But I suppose you’re right that those limited numbers of women may as well be non-existent in the grand scheme.

    Merry Christmas.

  40. feeriker says:

    The idea of considering MEN as customers with wants or needs of importance equal to those of women never occurred to her.

    Thirsty simps and chumps are the reason why.

    Within the broader picture, yes, that’s true. In the case I cited, however (and this assumes that “Mark” was telling the truth, which I of course have no way of knowing), the thirsty simps and chumps appeared to have figured out this dating service owner’s racket and said “no, thank you.” Admittedly that’s VERY unusual, but I would wager that as more and more men come to realize through experience what a waste of effort and low ROI dating is, fewer will bother with dating services, virtual or meat space. On a related note, Aaron Clarey (Captain Capitalism) has just put this out (“Why Men Need To Quit Online Dating”). I haven’t watched it yet, but I have to assume that he makes the same case I just mentioned, that the excessive effort required compared to the abysmally low ROI in terms of success and the women involved makes it an unforgivable waste of time, money, and effort that men could better spend on their own pursuits.

  41. Pingback: The effect of the disruption of the marriage marketplace | Christianity and masculinity

  42. Pingback: Day Bidet #30 – Brave Ole World

  43. Pingback: Its Demographics, Baby. – Dark Brightness

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s