This is actually not my original opinion. Novaseeker had a post over at Sigma, and he linked to a sexologist’s interview in regard to “sexual styles” compatibility. I ended up listening to the whole thing. The one comment that she made that stood out to me the most from the interview is that women’s sexual desire is narcissistic. Upon further analysis I find it to be generally true.
This actually makes sense from an uncontrolled hypergamy perspective. Women want to marry up. This leads to several conclusions.
- They could generally give 0 craps about men who aren’t attractive and who don’t benefit them (narcissism) outside of the sexual hierarchy (e.g. they still care about family).
- Woman want attractive men to desire them, and will go out of their way to get that attention (narcissism). Sex sells. Instagram, facebook, and the recent surge to places like OnlyFans.
- When a woman is with an attractive man, the thing that turns her on the most is being the object of his desire (narcissism). The sexologist even made the comment about why 50 Shades of Gray was so popular being that women wanted to be the object of desire (e.g. of a rich, handsome, muscular, successful leader).
- Ironically, the thing that often turns women on the most is being the object of desire but having the (attractive) man have his way with her. Perhaps this is part of being so attractive that a man can’t help himself by ravish her (again, narcissism).
- However, the woman in 50SoG also has the power to control or change that man… but only her (narcissism).
- The reason why women with uncontrolled hypergamy are attracted to men with dark triad (including narcissistic traits) is because like attracts like. In addition, narcissistic men value themselves above any woman who is with them (e.g. stimulates the illusion of hypergamy in that she’s possibly marrying up).
- Women with BPD who are often touted as crazy and promiscuous but really good in bed have their hypergamy turned up on overdrive. They live in their own bubble of narcissism which means they often can’t see the consequences of their actions.
Christian values and virtues aim at combating narcissism. For example, #1 is combated by kindness especially to those who in no way benefit you, #2 is combated by modesty, #3 is combated by sex within marriage and headship-submission and love-respect Biblical marital roles and responsibilities, #4 is a husband asserts his headship by having his way with her but having enough self control that he doesn’t succumb to potential ONEitis or being a slave to her feelings, etc.