Bardelys the Magnificent posted this video in one of the comments:
There’s a young chap on YouTube named Casey Zander, who put out a video outlining the things women won’t tell you. Honestly, one of the best videos I’ve ever seen. The gist is this: women want to submit to a dominant frame, but since they have no idea how to create that for themselves, they can’t articulate what that looks like. They just know it when they see it, which is why they can say with a straight face they want one thing and go after another. They don’t know how the sausage is made, they just know if it tastes good (pun intended?) so if you ask them if they prefer certain ingredients or methods they’ll agree with you, then choose the one they want. They have no clue, so it’s up to men to figure out our masculine identity and invite a woman to join. If she rejects you, next.
I wouldn’t really say it’s things women don’t want you to know about or necessarily won’t tell you. However, they do generally expect these things out of men unknowingly as these things tend to satisfy their hypergamy.
The basic summary is:
- How to be a man – “he just gets it,” knows what “safe” means, turned on when she’s told what to do, admission into his frame.
- How to outwit her – Proactive vs reactive, too much investment, weakens masculinity
- What she’s thinking – knows his job, cares less about what she’s thinking, no longer own mental point of reference, focused on her rather than on his mission
- Dominance is her polar opposite – male aggression is sex, ties to belief set, decisive, subconscious frame control
- Command arousing presence – ability to say no more than yes, not sex focused, words matter, be direct.
I think the points are a bit poorly worded, but he does explain them fairly well.
My summary given Biblical terms would be:
- Knows what his roles and responsibility for relationships/marriage are and does them (point 1). This naturally makes a man be a man because he knows that he is supposed to be the head/leader and acts like it. This includes things like being a protector and provider.
- Establishes and maintains natural order (points 2 and 3). A woman’s hypergamy is built in. It has the capacity to go haywire, but all women exhibit it to some degree. If you are in a relationship with a woman you need to be able to recognize when her hypergamy is rearing its head and maintain God’s order in the relationship and focus on God’s mission. Related: Christian masculinity, mindset, and fitness testing. Adam failed this by listening to Eve rather than God.
- Masculine traits must shine to maintain polarity in relationships (point 4). If a man starts to act less masculine — with masculine type traits being independent, assertive, strength, courage, leadership, etc. — then in most cases the woman will become more and more dissatisfied as well as potentially try to pick up the slack. A man must maintain strong masculinity in order to have good polarity with femininity. Avoid women who respond to masculinity with masculinity themselves (e.g. strong independent women who don’t need no man) instead of femininity. The masculine-feminine polarity creates sexual tension.
- Men are made not born and why discipleship/mentoring is important (point 5). “Presence” is more or less a combination of the rest of the 3, but how a man generally matures into a leadership role over time. Think of the pastor who has been giving sermons for 1 year versus 20-30. The skill of public speaking, leadership, and consistently doing it with a lot of people through the years. As one gets better at it, one can better discern things with more simplicity and respond correctly with nuance and cut to the chase. Women love competence.
Generally speaking, the various attractive traits (PSALM), masculinity, and leadership, and all such things are learned over time. This is why it’s important for men to be on God’s mission. Better younger than older, but the more time practiced the better things will be.
How can you lead a woman spiritually if you don’t know what you believe? Getting into the Word and the various spiritual disciplines in earnest helps to build that foundation. How easy is asking out a woman when you have regular spoken with people about the gospel and been discipled or have started discipling others?
There’s obviously many more like these, but I think the points are fairly clear. Even many of the RP proponents have discerned that Mission is important and not putting women first is the most successful. Doing what the Bible says we should be doing builds a lot of the skills and leadership qualities that it takes to be successful with women. If only most Churches actually preached that to men.
Women want to submit (including the submission of sex) to a dominant man not a dominant “frame.” Frame shmame.
Elspeth’s SAM is a dominant man not a dominant frame.
Game was an attempt to LARP alpha. Sigma frame (I don’t mean the website specifically) is a lame attempt to get oneself out of the sociosexual hierarchy without being a volcel. A cope.
Cam: Listen to you going all blackpill!
Deti I’ve been listening to The Cure’s music too much.
Agree with that. It’s the man not the frame.
I think most of the manosphere recognizes this now. Game is generally transient and can easily be sussed out.
That’s why most advocates (at least past like 2017-2018) say that you should be making “life improvements”: build career/wealth, maximize looks, hobbies, social circle, charisma, and so on so there’s actual some “concrete value” behind whatever game is there.
Deepstrength the PUAs say they have a large amount of failures for every success even though they are doing their act where people hook up. That’s because female instinct can spot a fake.
PUAs have a large amount of failures only in part because women can spot fakes. They have a large amount of failures for all sorts of reasons.
–he did/said one thing “wrong”
–one little thing about his appearance/demeanor/presentation is off
–he’s not her type
–she doesn’t feel like having sex
–she’s stressed out, anxious, preoccupied, distracted
–she’s on her period
–none of her friends are hooking up at the moment
or whatever else.
No women don’t know how a man becomes alpha. One thing they just cannot ignore is being attractive enough and ignoring them-dominant personality the hottest guy in the room starts acting beta and hes just slitting his own throat. I’m top whatever statistical muscle mass height but not a 10. I go out alone and do not talk to women I ignore them nearly no eye contact. Ever now and then I’ll glance around the room and attractive girls many times with men more attractive than me will b looking at me.
Part of it is logistics. The f boy I know does the same thing but extreme he flat out never looks around the room not one glance of eye contact ever they cannot take it. They can’t look at you if your looking at them it’s awkward eye contact when you don’t they get a long look and start to fantasize I see then out if my prephiral rarely straight forward.
The f boy just looks like a dam statue and he’s tall enough to look straight and never make eye contact with women and my gosh do they start to stare and talk to themselves and approach. He’s got better dgaf frame than me but is easy to break down. Mine they can’t break down. While it somewhat works for attractive men it puts women straight in a position that they have to work-fight for your attention and they definitely will.
I was glad to see C&M cited by Aaron Renn. More men need to talk and exchange ideas.
”A woman’s hypergamy is built in. It has the capacity to go haywire, but all women exhibit it to some degree.’
‘I of ALL men. agree with this definitely,BUT I think it should be ”A female’s hypergamy is built in.”6-12yo girls we’re trying to tie me down as a kid!I know fathers of little daughters don’t want to hear it,BUT its still true nonetheless.I lived it!
P.S.New login details.
I’m here from Aaron Renn’s newsletter. Good post, Deep Strength. A friend of mine just recommended your book to me.
Yeah, I saw.
Cool. I thought you knew about it already?
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