Rowena asks the question here about why sexual partner accounts are bad.
As a woman, I respectfully ask a question to the men in this forum. I ask only to understand things from a man’s point of view.
There is a lot of talk about body count of a woman. Higher the body count, worse the chance of pair bonding and greater chance of divorce. I am assuming that means number of men she slept with. Or is it number of times she has had sex?
Just asking – as assuming there is a girl LIKE Jill (not above Jill who is married) who has a relationship with a boyfriend like the above post. She has a sexual relationship with this man like above. So – after 10 years of being with this man – they break up.
Technically, she has a body count of ONE. In a committed relationship with ONE guy. For 10 YEARS. Would this make her better wife material than the girl with 5 one night stands over same 10 YEARS?
Obviously, she likes and enjoys sex. So one would think that she could replicate this with a future husband.
As a woman, I feel any man who FOLLOWED the boyfriend would find it challenging to generate that kind of attraction. Which is why I feel once virginity is lost, it is just a question of chance (God’s grace) and your ability to generate that attraction.
In the above context, does body count really matter? Once she has lost her virginity, does having a low body count mean anything? It just means she gave it up without a ring for a fewer NUMBER of men than others (maybe more number of TIMES than others). Is that a worthwhile metric of measurement?
In general, the why higher partner counts is bad is already proven:
The studies show that number of sexual partners for women is fairly correlated to divorce risk.
There’s various working theories, but the most prevalent seems to be that the higher the number of sexual partners the more comparisons she has to make toward her husband. Thus, if her husband doesn’t measure up in some way to partner #1, 2, 3, 4, etc up to say 10 (n count = 10) in various different areas then she is more likely to be dissatisfied and start disrespecting and/or rebelling. For instance, if #2 made 6 figures, #5 had an athletes muscular physique, and #7 had his own house, even though all of these are different people she will generally expect that her husband should have most if not all of those qualities.
This is why expectations seem to be sky high with women nowadays. They’re taking aggregate comparisons of lots of men they slept with and expect the next one (e.g. their potential husband) to have all of the best qualities of all of those men put together.
This video shows a woman (dating coach) discussing it. She had to be checked herself by an older male mentor when she started doing it, and then she realized that all of the other women she was coaching were doing it too.
A similar thing tends to happen in men with the desensitizing nature of airbrushed women on social media, advertising, and porn. Once a man has seen so much “beauty” per se, he becomes more desensitized toward normal looking women in everyday life (not counting overweight/obesity type stuff). Hence, normal women can’t meet his unrealistic standards anymore.
This male phenomena is generally known by most, and both women and men will berate other men for doing this. But it’s rarely the case that anyone talks about womens’ unrealistic expectations at least in real life.
In regard to the rest of the question about women being with one man (and having sex a lot of times) versus being with many men, the male commenters have generally covered that. Men generally evaluate promiscuity as casual and may date and/or have sex with such women but they won’t marry them. If they’re looking for a wife and children they’re going to look more highly upon a woman who is able to commit and stay loyal.