Trust, attraction, and the Biblical female marital roles of helper, submission, and respect Part 2

In the last post we explored the theme of why attraction leads to trust and why this trust increases female compliance with the Biblical female marital roles and responsibilities. Let’s put together some more pieces.

Over the past few months, Jack has written about validational versus transactional sex. I’ve written on this topic as well in terms of the transactional versus desire dynamic and also how this relates to our relationship with God in performing versus doing things from desire.

Thus, we end up with a general schematic:

  1. Womens’ ATTRACTION to men (via PSALM and masculinity) tends to lead to TRUST in the man
  2. TRUST leads to a woman more naturally following Biblical female marital roles and responsibilities
  3. Thus, TRUST leads to a woman being more willing to help, follow, and respect the man

Since womens’ attraction and desire is governed by hypergamy — the desire to marry up — this gives us some perspective on why women employ a performance/transactional or desire/validational mindset toward men.

Those they find unattractive do not trigger their hypergamy so most interactions tend to trend toward performance and transactional nature. The example of the nice guy or friend-zoned man fall into this category. He has to constantly prove his worth to her for what rationed attention she gives to him, and in most cases he will never get sex. Even if he does it’s along the lines of tit for tat. In other words, it’s similar in nature to the sugar daddy-sugar baby or in more vulgar terms the john-prostitute relationship. Favors are being exchanged either for attention, sex, or some other thing that a man wants from a woman.

Alternatively, underneath the attraction model comes the desire to have sex which also validates the woman. Those men that display PSALM and masculinity traits tend to be naturally attractive to women which triggers her hypergamy that he is better than her. This attraction also builds trust. Hence, such as a woman is much more open to be vulnerable and humble and to want to be humbled (by having sex) with a man who is attractive and arousing.

I don’t think it is a coincidence that God made men and women like this. The various Biblical marital roles and responsibilities of the man seem to be aimed at reinforcing an increased attraction, trust, and general humility to a wife so that she responds to a husband’s love for the purpose of sanctification. The more a wife trusts in her husband the more likely she is going to respond to her husband if he is correcting, teaching, and training her in righteousness. This seems to be a reinforcing positive behavioral cycle that also increases the propensity for sex between a husband and wife.

In other words, the Creation design of men and women and marriage all fit together nicely to positively reinforce Biblical marital roles and responsibilities and desire to have sex with each other.

Repentance to God also mirrors the the humility that a woman experiences when she is with a man who is very attractive and arousing to her. One must be humble to admit they are a sinner in need of a Savior.

Jack sums this up in his equation for validational sex in what we’ve learned about female submission.

Validation = Domination + Defilement –> Humility + Ego Affirmation –> Her Feeling Loved

In terms of “game”: Game –> Humility –> Her Feeling Loved

My aside comment on game: Much of the various immoral pickup techniques work because they tend to attempt to try to trigger a woman’s hypergamic impulses by knocking down a woman’s pride or even insulting her or the other various methods (DHV/DLV — demonstrate high value versus demonstrate low value).

Although hypergamy is termed that way for a woman’s desire to marry up, it can also be defined in terms of humility in the opposite direction. The one a woman wants to marry up with triggers her hypergamy so that she is humble toward him because he is a relative ‘superior’ in what she wants while she is a relative ‘inferior.’ This explains why women always want men who earn more than them, are more popular than them, have more power, status, athleticism, muscles, and all other PSALM and masculinity traits than them.

This also explains the extreme cognitive dissonance liberal women have with wanting equality with men, but then are attracted to the men they so-called hate. Conservatives are generally no better with threatening their girls boyfriends with violence and guns which sabotages relationships. Churchians are likewise no better because egalitarians basically being feminists and complementarians saying equality in value but different in roles but pushing for equality in roles — agreement is godliness and the fallacy of intelligent submission.

I believe the explanatory scope extends further into why women with multiple partners tend to divorce more readily. Why expectations of men and women are out of control describes the inflationary expectations which raises the bar for a woman’s hypergamy. Suddenly a man is not just compared to himself but all of the good qualities of men she previously dated and all of the “good” various sexual experiences she had. This raises her hypergamic filter so high that she can only be humble to very few men if any at all. In the vast majority of cases, probably no one. Hence, promiscuous women tend to marry for the status and not because they actually desire their husband and end up going down the road of divorce or sexless marriages.

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3 Responses to Trust, attraction, and the Biblical female marital roles of helper, submission, and respect Part 2

  1. Pingback: Trust, attraction, and the Biblical female marital roles of helper, submission, and respect Part 1 | Christianity and masculinity

  2. Pingback: Don’t Be Little Kenny | okrahead

  3. Pingback: More thoughts on the Validational sex equation | Christianity and masculinity

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