Running behind here, but RPA posted on Why are attractive women more dangerous to beta men than their less attractive friends?
Men are largely unaware of this temptation when confronted with shimmering beauty, and so the risk goes under men’s radar. Thus, high SMV women are dangerous to men because they appeal to men’s primal instinct which shuts down the prefrontal cortex of sound reason.
In addition to this temporary insanity, it’s also easer for men to get drawn into a high SMV woman’s frame, especially when there is a significant SMV disparity, and since women have no respect for non-Tingle inducing men, once she’s given the power of laying the frame, she’ll take him to the cleaners just for the fun of it (re. Jack’s comment).
Tying this back to risk, the hot chicklet with the ugly character is potentially a huge risk. If a man does not keep his head on straight and analyze the risk well, he’s stuck with all the misery she causes. He’s the Proverbs 21 husband.
Hence we have the wisdom of the bible telling us that inner beauty matters a whole heck of a lot because (1) most of married life is lived after the looks fade, and (2) this advice is necessary to help keep men level headed in the heat of temptation. The warning for men then is to not let a vixen’s youth and beauty cause the rational analyzer to get glitchy in a way that it would not with a less attractive woman.
One of the interesting phenomena that Jack didn’t cover here is the natural tendency that some (or many?) men have to avoid beautiful women. I distinctly remember I had this all throughout high school and college. Not sure why this the case, but I think it’s fairly prevalent.
Basically, if I saw a beautiful woman my natural tendency was to:
- Avert my gaze
- Look down
- Try to avoid contact
This is something that when men or women meet another man or woman like this, it’s a natural humility/inferiority thing. I believe this is somewhat where the origination of the “out of your league” sentiment comes in, though the other part of that particular sentiment is other people telling a man or woman that the another woman or man is out of their league because of perceived SMV differences.
This made my life fairly difficult in the past, but with proper conditioning men are able to get past it. You basically need to condition yourself so you don’t avert your gaze, don’t look down, make solid eye contact, and are able to talk, communication, and lead a woman who is is attractive to you.
I also wonder if this is potentially a natural phenomena. I’m probably the Normie range as far as SMV goes (though I’ve known some women who would’ve said sub5, and maybe a couple Chad — normal distribution around average/10). It would make sense at least in the context of assorted mating for men not to overcome this phenomena and pair off with their general range of partners who of the same SMV attractiveness as it happened a lot in the past. There would be a natural deterrent for a man with this psychological state to avoid trying to ask out women that are perceived to be above his league.
Even then as Jack notes, a man must also overcome the other natural instincts to put an attractive woman on a pedestal as well and have the inverted roles happen to him.
I’ve still occasionally encountered this as I’ve gotten older even after all of the deconditioning. I’d be interested to know if this is a somewhat universal phenomena in men or if it’s just some sort of feature or glitch with others.
It seems there are a lot of potential things going against men in this situation them to be successful in leading a potential relationship or marriage with an attractive woman. Hence, why these are probably skills that should be taught as a boy becomes a man rather than trying to learn them later in life.
What is SMV?
@ Lovely Panda Mom
SMV is sexual market value. A generalized term for what men and women find attractive in each other.
Men are attracted to beauty, youth, fertility, and femininity in women.
Women are attracted to PSALM (power, status, athleticism, looks, money) and masculinity in men.
In general, women with high beauty, youth, and femininity will generally attract and be attracted to men with high PSALMs and masculinity and vice versa.
I see, thanks for the answer 😊
With super beautiful women, I won’t, avert my gaze, look down, or try to avoid contact, but I also don’t make an effort to make contact. Whereas I’m normally pretty outgoing, I usually won’t make an effort to talk with a super hot woman, just based upon my own prejudice. I usually start off ignoring them. Most of them are spoiled, bitchy, high maintenance, entitled, and think far too highly of themselves, and think poorly of others. I’ve met some exceptions, but they are exceptionally rare.
I’ll generally let her make first contact with me, if she wants to, unless I have some reason that I need to speak to her. Sometimes I’ll speak with everybody but her. Ignoring super attractive girls can be a safe way to start off getting to know them. It differentiates you from all the thirsty guys who are looking for the first opportunity to run over and salivate in front of her. And if she has to initiate contact with you, then she can’t likely consider your contact with her to be unwelcomed. If I actually wanted to talk to her and see what she was like, I might first begin by striking up a conversation with one of her friends who is by her, and see if she then joins into the conversation or if she tries to ignore our conversation or walks off. Either way I’m not going act as if she is the center of my attention, even if she really is. Furthermore a super hot girl will likely prefer to try to steal your attention away from her friend, rather than return attention to a man who offered her his attention first. If she has to work to steal your attention away from another woman, you’ve set yourself up as “the prize.”
I cringe whenever I hear people blaming everything on society. We see this a lot on the left side of the spectrum, with frustration surrounding gender roles that have a natural basis and reason for existing, and yet we also see it here. Many men in the RP space feel they’ve been conditioned by “society” to act as weak providers, and yet I think you’re right in pointing out it’s a very natural thing. Normie men develop naturally in response to how other people in the sexual marketplace act toward them, and from an evolutionary perspective this makes sense. It’s not just women who sort men according to fitness, though they are the final selectors. Men sort themselves based on self-perception. Consciously they are seeking to avoid shame and rejection, and unconsciously they are simply reinforcing an evolutionary mechanism that produces the most fit next generation for their gene pool.
Hard to see God in this, but whatever lol.
The problem with SMV is that women assess their own while they assess men. It is no wonder that hypergamy is out of control. The measure they use to assess is to see who they can reject. Anyone they reject must be of lesser value.