From Reddit’s sub “Christian Marriage.”
Women, please don’t deny your husbands — 0 upvotes, 50% upvoted
Here’s the post:
Sex for a husband is so essential. Please don’t undermine how important that is to a husband who desires his wife, but doesn’t get any romance. Keep your marriage alive!
And of course, the top few answers:
- My husband is compassionate about my medical problems. Sex is not all we have and it’s not the most essential. Our love and relationship are much deeper.
- Sorry but this is not great advice. I was told by a female Christian counselor that “under no circumstances should a Christian wife ever say no to her husband for sex”. So as much as I thought that was some bogus, 18th Century, misogynist advice, I tried it. I did it whenever he wanted with a good attitude. My husband still cheated on me multiple times and watched porn despite having sex with me multiple times a week. Don’t make women feel it’s THEIR DUTY to keep the husband happy. Are you kidding me? This is actually some “wisdom” people are giving out on a Christian sub? Maybe instead the advice should be that both the husband and wife need to focus on other aspects of intimacy so the wife wants to have sex. Some women experience pain, have trauma, don’t feel valued and loved. Why should a woman do this out of OBLIGATION? It should be done out of desire to bring her and her husband closer and same with the husband. Please check your heart and the Bible before spewing this rhetoric.
- This is definitely true! But also, men, do not forget that you hold part of the key yourselves. Make sure that you act as a man worthy of respect and desire, that you take care of yourself and that you treat her with love and care. No woman wants to have sex with Homer Simpson.
- One of the hallmarks of being a good husband (or wife, for that matter) is not treating sex as something you are entitled to. Just saying.
Literally a list of excuses why women shouldn’t have sex with their husbands. You know, the one they agreed to “have and to hold.”
Then someone was smart enough to post the opposite one.
Men please don’t deny your wives — 123 upvotes, 100% upvoted
The same exact post but substituted husbands for wives.
Let’s look at the comments.
- Is this because of the recent post for wives to not deny their husbands? Lol. Both statements are true and need to be heard. I understand that some partners have lower libidos, but the rejection is very painful for the partner being denied. This does a lot of damage in a marriage. Unfortunately, I have found that talking about sex is a little taboo in the Christian community. My husband is still uncomfortable talking about sex, and we’ve been married for 8 years, together for 11.
- First step, men – stop looking at porn.
- Thank you; I needed this. We’ve got a Cold War in our home right now. I’m trying to remain strong, but temptation is ever-present.
- If you insist
- This is very important. I went through a depression period. I stopped paying attention to my wife and now I’m paying for it. It’s not her fault, but mine. She did everything – even dyed her hair blonde (although I never asked) so I would notice her. I was too preoccupied with myself to even notice she was looking for attention. We are still together and working on things, but it’s hard. I appreciate any prayers my way. But men – take note of this!
Men being told to stop looking at porn, and men owning up to denying their wives.
Can’t make this stuff up. Literally the same command to both the husbands and the wives to have sex with each other but two drastically different responses from “Christians.”