Last post we went over Defining the headship authority model from Genesis to Christ and His Church which showed us the nature of Creation, man and woman, Christ and Church and how that relates to husbands and wives.
Since this has become a big topic of debate, it is worth considering what makes the opposite sex feel loved from a Biblical perspective. These are the 4 commands God gives to Adam and Eve and their marriage from the beginning.
Genesis 2 gives us more details about the ordering of creation. Man was created first, but there was no helper suitable for him. Hence, God created a helper suitable for him.
- The first command — rule and subdue the earth — could be fulfilled by Adam himself such as taking dominion over the beasts as they came to him and gave them names (Genesis 2). However, Eve could help with that.
- The second command — be fruitful and multiply — was unable to be fulfilled without Eve.
- The third command — cultivate and keep the garden — was being tended to by Adam but Eve could help with.
- The fourth command — Obey God: do not eat of the tree — Eve could obey as well.
One may ask what do these commands represent to make each of the opposite sex feel loved? I think it’s pretty clear once you think about it, but first you have to actually think about it.
Observably, what makes men feel loved is:
- Women who are enthusiastic about being with them
- Also enthusiastic sex
- Peace and not contentiousness – a woman who is a good follower and helper and not contentious
What do all of these traits that make men feel loved have to do with the commands? Well, we can see they are all there.
- Men take dominion over area(s) in life and cultivate and keep their sphere of influence and women who are good followers and helpers and not contentious about it
- Women who are enthusiastic about sex are being enthusiastic about being fruitful and multiplying
- All of these follow the model of Christ and the Church which is the analogy for husbands and wives where the Church follows Christ and conforms to Him.
Observably, what makes women feel loved is:
- Dominant men who want them to be theirs
- When dominant men take them which leads to high sexual arousal
- When dominant men have a vision and mission and she gets to play an integral role
To be a bit more clear on this, we can see this echoed in what Jesus does with the Church
- Jesus loves us so much that He died for the Church to make us children of God
- Jesus and His marriage to the Church
- Jesus delegating His mission to evangelize and disciple the whole world to His disciples and all Christians
For husbands and wives this is the same:
- Women want attractive dominant men to be interested in her and usually her only (the subject of billions of womens’ porn)
- Wives are most sexually aroused when her dominant husband sexually takes her
- When wives know their place within her man’s mission to help him and confirm to him. This is what we see with respectful and submissive wives and unfortunate alpha widows who would do anything for their man.
These also echo the 4 patterns that we saw previously:
Thus, if we want to include the additional example that parallels the headship model we now have 4 forms in which it applies.
- Headship authority-Submission
- Love-Respect
- Dominion-Humility
- Commitment-Conformity
These 4 going forward can help us further understand not only the Bible but also male and female relationships.
A wife’s submission, respect, humility, and conformity to the husband make him feel loved while a husband’s authority, love, dominion, and commitment make her feel loved.
Overall, the Bible describes what is sexually attractive to men and women at Creation in the garden, and it also should not surprise us that what makes the opposite sex feel loved is baked into those commands as well. We just have been too ignorant to closely examine the Scriptures to learn this knowledge.
Christianity and masculinity 