Are the good men are married – data on what men are most likely to get married

Aaron Renn posted Crimieux’s article looking at if the marriage premium is true. The marriage premium shows that generally married men earn much more than their single counterparts.

All charts attributed to his site.

There’s more charts, but in general this one seems to encapsulate it the best.

Basically, it’s not that married men earn more because they are married, but men that are successful are getting married more often and that success continues several years pre-marriage into several years post-marriage. Unsurprisingly, reduction or loss of income is correlated with divorce as well.

Taking it a step further, it’s likely the men developing the key attributes of manliness also are relate to job success — being assertive, confident, competent, and such that get the promoted and earning raises — are the key attributes that also make them successful with women as well. The money is more or less a side effect of the development into a confident and successful man, and obviously helps in the dating game and acquiring relevant marriage signalling attributes like a house as well.

I’ve been sitting on a few IFStudies articles related to this which is a good time to pull them out. One of those articles posits that High status (and earning) men are attracted to ambitious women contrary to the popular notion that men are turned off by ambitious women. All charts are credit to IFStudies link above.

They draw this conclusion through several charts.

Unfortunately, this is a classic correlation is not causation fallacy when interpreting the data.

• The main thing that most men tend to communicate is that ambition in women is not attractive and not that it’s a turn off.
• The main turn off is when high earning women are trying to take the role of the man in the relationship by being adversarial.

Aside from the growing “online” segment, the majority of people still meet their spouse from work, friends and family. This means that men who are at the lucrative jobs are more likely to meet other women with lucrative jobs based on the fact that they either work with them or near them, and their friend groups are likely to be in the same socioeconomic class which means if they meet through friends or family they will have similar higher earning jobs.

Likewise, many of my friends who did go to graduate school or professional schools either met their spouses in college, in the post-college schooling, or from friends and family or colleagues out of those schools once they started to work. 

It’s unlikely that a high earning man is going to go to a dive bar in the poor part of town trying to meet women. Even if he does somehow meet a woman in a bar, it’s likely going to be an upscale bar because he has the resources to be there and it’s likely going to be more frequented by upscale women as well. 

It’s only in the Disney stories and RomComs that you see the prince and the peasant or rich man marring the poor woman most of the time. 

Another IFStudes blog looked at the fact that women are still marrying up. 

This is not shocking given the past two articles we went over and confirms what I hypothesized on the fact that the higher income men tend to marry the women in proximity to them — work, same social and socioeconomic group, friends, and family. 

If young women want to be married, the Mrs degree is coming back basically. It’s also the high earners that are overwhelmingly married to stay-at-home moms because one income can support that unlike in many areas of the country now. 

This is echoed in another IFStudies piece on high earning women are more likely to marry.

As we all knew as well women are more likely to be married younger, but men are more likely to be married older. Men married older is skewed by the male divorcees remarrying because they are more attractive to women than female divorcees. 

In general, for both men and women the plan is pretty clear. 

Men succeeding at work tends to likely develop the masculine traits and money needed to support a family at the same time. For women if they want to marry such a man they need to put themselves into proximity to these men. Or at the very least, have a high earning job even if it doesn’t require college or graduate school or a professional degree (trades) and put yourself in proximity to good women. 

Obviously, Christian is a must for both, but this is likely the way you want to go if you want to have the most successful model which I covered in the other article which is a higher earning man with a stay at home wife. 

Say please

Jack has a great post about exposing demanding and negotiative mentality in women.

When a wife is saying, “[Husband] should do X, Y, Z”, then she is being demanding. I’ve covered how to handle demands before. The standard way for a man to deal with demands from women is to be more demanding of her than she is of you.

But when a wife is saying that “[Husband] should do X, Y, Z, … BECAUSE [Wife] does A, B, C”, then she is being negotiative or transactional. She’s also comparing her opinion of you to her view of herself.

The standard way of handling demands by being more demanding may not work in this case. If she is a lazy or passive wife, then she might fold. But if she is the type of person who is always pushing for excellence and improvement (which a lot of women do, including good women), then it turns into brinkmanship and one-up-manship that puts ever more pressure on the man because it is essentially a competition of who can outdo the other. Although this dynamic might be beneficial for personal improvement, a man has to watch that it never crosses the line into a competition of ‘Equals’ as women would like to think that it is.

There is a very easy way to put the brakes on the showmanship, if deemed necessary.

This is a good way to conceptualize the matter.

However, the most effective way I’ve found when helping men over the years is to defuse demands is with the the pressure flip.

• Wife: Demands you do X, Y, and Z
• Husband: (in a playful tone) “You forgot to say pleaseee…”

The one phrase instantly communicates several things to the wife which are:

• She’s acting like a brat demanding things and trying to get her way
• Typically, the show of manners is demanded by parents to children or teachers to students which automatically flips the scenario from her demanding something of you (her in authoritative position) to you demanding something of her (you in the authoritative position).
• It’s just good manners, so there’s no way for her to come back on it without looking a jerk.
• The playful manner means it’s not that serious, so it shouldn’t escalate into a full blown argument unless she is too far gone into the rebellious and disrespectful zone where she is thinking about divorce. If the situation is that serious where the wife continues to argue about it, typically the best way to defuse again is to use the same tactics that the women use against men: tone policing. Start policing her tone for being rude and disrespectful.

Side note – tone policing is one of the ways wives, feminists, and left uses to nullify any argument and make men and husbands look like the bad guy. It can be reversed on them and they typically look shocked or confused when it happens because it rarely does happen to them.

The problem beyond this though is if the relationship has slipped into such a position, so this is not the only things men should be doing to act as the leader. But this is usually a good way to defuse the situation and reverse it in the short term.

Landmines to avoid while dating

I’ve seen so many different articles come across my plate over the past few weeks.

I’m no tennis fan, but apparently Danielle Collins, age 31, is a fairly successful woman’s tennis player (over 10 Million in career earnings) is on the prowl to be a trad wife. Some people found her dating profile and it went viral

Currently a professional tennis player, but kind of aspiring to be a rad wife. Straight up. Already had my boss babe era. Just wanting to raise my chickens. do home projects, make freshly baked sourdough, be a stay at home dog mom, and hopefully pop out some babies soon. If you’re going to lie about your height just leave me the fuck alone. This is a no short kings zone.

She then added in a different interview

‘I’ll tell you what … if anyone has the balls to slide into my DM like this just make sure to attach your most recent bank statement while you’re at it,’ she wrote.

One man even sent her his bank account, showing it had millions in it.

Collins then said on her Instagram: ‘Modern love … okay I’m getting off the internet now.’

Apparently she is still in her boss babe era, and almost certainly won’t be a good wife with that amount of entitlement. Buyers beware.

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Spool of wire guy.

Had his spool of wire for 40 years and used it for a lot of different things. Wife is basically clueless as to why he’s so emotional about it and man is visibly disappointed. And women are supposedly the more empathetic sex.

Turns out that’s definitely not the case when men are more emotional, as we have covered many times on this blog.

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Richard Reeves puts out advice on how to be a man women actually want (paywalled)

I saw this before Aaron Renn mentioned him a couple weeks ago, but he has stuff out about his new book and such.

Answering these questions has become Richard Reeves’s overarching task. Two years ago, the British-born scholar founded the American Institute for Boys and Men. He also wrote the book that crystallized America’s growing anxiety about men. “Of Boys and Men,” published in 2022, thrust the crisis of modern masculinity into the mainstream, forcing politicians to confront an uncomfortable reality: Men are falling behind women on everything from college enrollment to employment rates to basic life satisfaction. They’re also struggling to find love and get married, as I discussed in my last column.

But Reeves isn’t some men’s rights advocate. He’s not pining for a mythical golden age when men got what they wanted with minimal effort. Instead, he’s asking harder questions about identity, purpose and what it means to build a life worth living.

Women might not need men anymore, but they still want men. Men, he believes, are more than capable of rising to the occasion. “Find someone who will do and marry them,” Reeves tells me bluntly. When I suggest this sounds like settling, he pushes back: “It’s less about picking the perfect wife and more about being a good husband.”

You can basically tell where this is going without reading the rest. To paraphrase,

“Women’s progress is only good and there are no downsides. Men need to “man up” and adapt to this new world if they want to get married.”

But there’s obviously crickets when the modern man does this and the woman is still unhappy and divorces him.

Do not follow this nonsense social script. Follow Christ and only date Christian women who want to follow their man and submit to him.

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Finally, making the rounds is Vogue’s Is Having a boyfriend embarassing now? 

You can read it for yourself, but the gist of it is that women are feeling embarrassed by posting boyfriends on social media for a variety of reasons such as they don’t want to alienate their friends or followers who don’t have any,  they’re embarrassed by the break ups in the end, discussing boyfriends are lame or boring, and other nonsensical stuff like this.

Basically, they’re so focused on social media’s perception of them that it is negatively affecting their own relationships and self perception. Anyone with a brain could see this one coming seeing as how social media is often more destructive for women than it is with men.

Be wary out there for the land mines. Only date women who will respect you as a man.

Value blindness

I’ve been trying to figure out a term to use for this, but it’s the common one for the headship-submission dynamic within marriage.

No one, not even the most ardent feminist, would say that a teacher has more value (or is less equal) than a student. It’s assumed that the role of teacher is there to guide the student, just as Jesus did with his disciples. However, we still understand that there is a hierarchical dynamic between them where one is in authority over the other and responsible for their needs. They have the authority to make decisions.

The same is true of many other common positions society wide like bosses and employees, professions and secretaries, and others.

Yet, interestingly there is value blindness when talking about Biblical husband and wives. Even many of the so-called believers in headship and submission like the complementarians need to always pay lip service to the fact that husbands and wives are different but equal in value even though they do not necessarily do it practically.

Feminists have done a wonderful job brainwashing both men and women into believing power = value and maleness = value. Ironically, by doing this they have implicitly relegated femininity to a second class role.

Luke 22:25 Jesus said to them, “The kings of the Gentiles lord it over them; and those who exercise authority over them call themselves Benefactors. 26 But you are not to be like that. Instead, the greatest among you should be like the youngest, and the one who rules like the one who serves. 27 For who is greater, the one who is at the table or the one who serves? Is it not the one who is at the table? But I am among you as one who serves.

To clarify the point, the feminists have convinced Christian men but especially Christian women that Gentile authority is the default over Godly authority even to Christians!

Their envious goal is to want to be in power or want to be like men rather than women. Hence, why women believe that they are worth less if they aren’t striving to at the very least be equal or in power in any relationship or take on the male roles and traits though excluding much of the responsibility.

Thus, the dynamic is that anytime anyone needs to address the role of husband if they have to address the so-called elephant in the room of “equality” they are already falling prey to feminist intent.

This is the same as the submission dynamic of letting him lead:

• Rebellion or contentious to a husband
• Letting him lead — this still maintains that the wife is the arbiter of a husband’s leading
• Following his lead

To wrap up, I think it’s important to keep digging to the root of the language and meaning because some of these things continue to slip through the cracks. We’ve identified much of Biblical attraction and arousal and how it conflicts with modern culture, but maybe we haven’t investigated the why as deeply and how it alters our perception even through just the simple way we address points and the language we use.

Men with more prestigious jobs are more likely to cheat versus general commentary on cheating and divorce

Been meaning to write about this IFStudies post for a while since I think they overlooked some analysis. All credit for the images are from IFStudies link.

Table: Occupational Prestige by Four Categories

• Low Prestige 0–35 Less prestigious jobs (e.g., janitors, food service workers, cashiers)
• Lower-Middle Prestige 36-49 Routine or entry-level occupations (e.g., truck drivers, secretaries, retail sales)
• Upper-Middle Prestige 50–64 Skilled or semi-professional roles (e.g., police officers, K–12 teachers, technicians)
• High Prestige 65–80 High-status professions (e.g., physicians, lawyers, college professors, executives)

The title is interesting because it leaves out some context that is highly important.

The general trends among men cheating is that they had sex with the other woman but still love their wife. However, the general trend among wives cheating is that they had already decided she didn’t love him and checked out the marriage already. This is clearly shown by wives asking her cheating husband “do you love her?” versus husbands asking their cheating wife “did you have sex with him?” Each sex wants to verify the reason differently because love vs sex. 

The reason why this is important is because women in the upper-middle to highly prestigious jobs might not necessarily cheat but they will just divorce you if they’re unhappy because they can generally provide for themselves better. So you don’t necessarily get the cheating while in the relationship, but they divorce and instantly have a new man they were emotionally involved with during the marriage. 

This makes men with prestigious jobs look worse than the woman, though I would suspect it would even out if they could account for women immediately ending up in a relationship post-divorce. 

You’d expect women with low and lower-middle occupational prestige to cheat more just because they want to continue to rely on their man for economic support — the woman food service workers, cashiers, secretaries, retail sales. Indeed, this is true.

Additionally, you’d expect the men with high prestige to cheat more because they have the economic capability to arrange liaisons better and the increased power and status from their job which women are attracted to. This is true as well.

It appears to be now true that women are out cheating men overall (11% vs 14%)which isn’t that surprising to most of us here, and this does not take into account the fact that more women are divorcing to potentially be with their liaisons that are not counted in actual cheating. Most people you would ask in the wild would think men are always the ones cheating more though. 

A lot of you hated the fact that I said that if you want someone who divorces the least you still want a college educated woman, and this also appears to be true if you don’t want a woman to cheat. The college educated women while they have a higher divorce percentage, this is misleading because the non-college educated women have more total amount of divorces are less overall so there is a lower total amount of divorces of college educated women. 

This look at the data is also important because it clarifies what you would want through multiple lines of evidence. What is going to be the most successful chance to eliminate cheating?

• College educated woman who wants to be a homemaker (not just is a homemaker or doesn’t work)
• Religious service attendance is an obvious qualifier as well, though not guaranteed that said woman is a Christian. If you have a true Christian it should be less. 
• Is a virgin as you know from past posts

Basically, bring back the Mrs degree and a Christian virgin woman who is actively preparing to be a homemaker. 

The ideal taking into account hypergamy would be mainly what we all have surmised from the get-go. 

• Christian Husband with a high prestige job (e.g., physicians, lawyers, college professors, executives) or at the very least upper-middle job. 
• Christian wife with a college degree job who wants to be a wife and mother and homemaker

The best you can glue a husband and wife together via attraction and then conform it to Biblical roles and responsibilities is going to have the most success. 

The history of the collapse of dating and marriage

Commenter Info posted a link in one of Jack’s most recent posts about a video that talked about the occult origins of modern dating which was Part 1 of the series. I actually went down the whole rabbit hole through the full 4 part series.

I would estimate it’s about 95-98% accurate in terms of understanding how we got into this mess. The first part is about some origins, though I don’t think dating itself is necessarily evil. Parts 2 goes through the Boomers and GenX to the rise of feminism and eventually he goes into the development of the red pill and manosphere in Part 3 and 4 and how many parts of it have gone mainstream.

If you have time, the thing is worth a watch, and it’s something I would recommend to show men at Church who are interested in why the dating and marriage markets have collapsed. 

There are some inaccuracies in terms of dates which likely means he wasn’t intimately present with the rise of the early red pill, manosphere, and the Christian side of it. However, in terms of a deep history dive it’s very well done.

He’s said a lot of what we’ve said here in terms of the feminization of the Church and the lack of ability to criticize women and their sins, expectations, and inability of men to lead in marriage, and how most marriages whether egalitarian or complementarian have the underlying dynamic of the wife in power and the husband has only responsibility. 

Steph Curry’s marriage is looking like it’s in trouble

Background if you don’t follow sports. Steph Curry is considered one of the best 3 point shooters of all time in the NBA. He’s won a few NBA championships and a couple MVPs and is one of the most popular basketball players on the planet. He’s already considered to be one of the greatest NBA players in history given his legacy. 

If you haven’t heard maybe a month ago his wife, Ayesha Curry, went on a podcast and did some sort of tell all type of interview where she was talking about her life. The problem was she revealed a ton of info to paraphrase:

• She wasn’t really attracted to Steph
• Didn’t really want to get married
• Didn’t really want kids

Unfortunately, it wasn’t all just that. She reveals that obviously she knows that most women are throwing themselves at her husband, but also that she’s insecure about it. Like most aging and starting to get overweight women she misses the male attention. 

Then she went on another show and started talking about it with women who are clearly non-Christian feminists. 

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And unfortunately, it’s not just that, she has Jada Smith, who basically cucked Will Smith into an open relationship, egging her on about many men still desire her and that her husband knows it. Will, Jada, the slap, and Jada’s past Alpha ex have been already behaviorally analyzed by Jack and others. 

Based on her past playing into her marriage in the present, her current insecurities, and the “friends” she keeps (with friends like that who needs enemies), I suspect Steph might be in for a rough time. 

Steph Curry is an outspoken Christian, but his wife is currently showing signs of Christian-in-name-only behavior such as keeping with the wrong crowd and believing them. If I was him I’d try to get her on the straight and narrow otherwise he’s in for a heap of trouble. 

I assume he would have to know given the magnitude of the blowback of this incident which has been all over social media.

I didn’t have the time to go through the full interview, but I’m sure there’s more nuggets to be gleaned if you have time.

This video summarizes the disrespect over the years.

In favor of Prenups

Worth a post since it came up fairly recently as a topic where I am.

Generally, I was against prenups for Christians given the whole trust issue, but now I think that all Christians should have them.

You basically get a prenup through the state which the terms are along the following.

• No fault divorce
• Husband gets punished financially in most cases
• Wife may get full custody or at least can be somewhat of an uphill battle. May be changing slowly to joint custody depending on where you live, but it can still be an issue.

In other words, there are only incentives for the wife to divorce a husband in most cases.

However, when investigating them further you can model prenups on Christian marriage. For instance, you can write in an infidelity clause that punishes the cheating and divorcing spouse financially. How much you can do this is debatable because judges can throw some out that are deemed unfairly harsh. Yet it is still a good idea to have morality clauses as an incentive against divorce.

I still do not subscribe to the idea of not getting a marriage certificate from the government and only have a Church ceremony. Any divorce lawyer and judge will laugh you out of court if you show up saying you aren’t married but in practice you are — living together, saying you are husband and wife to family and friends, and so on. You’ll probably even get punished harder for selectively trying to do this as well.

Thus, if you are getting married in this day and age even if you both are serious Christians I think it would be a good idea to get a prenup together to model it for Christian marriage. Otherwise, you have a default one that is pro-divorce from the government whether you like it or not.

The Matrix and Laurence Fishburne

Several months ago, Neil DeGrasse Tyson and Laurence Fishburne had a chat on his podcast and they went deeper into The Matrix talking about Religion and Mythology. Since the Manosphere and Red Pill has largely used The Matrix mythology as an analogy to expose the gynocentrism that has stemmed from the rise of feminism. I thought it would be pertinent to talk about how they discussed the characters.

Tyson is a prominent atheist though born Catholic, so it was interesting to see his view on it from an outside perspective. They go back and forth revealing and walking through the movie. Fishburne claims to be Christian from what I can tell at least and was excited to work on the film because he saw the Christology in it when he initially read the script.

• Neo is an anagram of the One, which Fishburne says is Christ.
• Early in the movie, Neo who is a programmer gives someone a disc, and the person who is getting the info they need calls him “his savior”
• When Neo is brought out of The Matrix, he is on board the Nebuchadnezzar (ship), Cypher is scared when Neo comes up behind him and says “You scared the be-Jesus out of me”
• Cypher is Judas after he has the “beJesus” scared out of him
• After everyone is convinced Neo is the one, they talk about how everyone including Trinity is beginning to believe or have faith
• Near the end of the movie when the agents catch up to Neo and shoot him and continues shooting him after he was dead. Tyson makes the point that if you count the shots from the scene and then go back to the ship where his body continues to be shot there are 14 which to him potentially corresponds to the 14 stations of the Cross.
• Neo then dies and then is resurrected after the Cross just like Neo.
• Trinity meets Neo in basically a sex club which corresponds supposedly to how Mary Magdalene was saved from prostitution? Also, Trinity is an obvious allusion to the Godhead.
• Morpheus corresponds to John the Baptist because he knows that the One (or Jesus) is coming. Additionally, when John meets Jesus he says I’m supposed to be baptized by you, just like Morpheus wants to be reliant on Neo.
• Fishburne’s favorite scene is when he first meets Neo and says “Do you know why you’re here” and “This is what has brought you to us” and “What is the Matrix? It’s all around us, you can feel it when you go to Church, etc.” Very cryptic
• Cypher and the agents with the dinner when eating the steak. Eats it and says he knows it’s not real, but my mind is telling me it’s real and he doesn’t care. And the agents ask him if they have a deal.
• The Spoon scene gets scientific optics right. Eat with the concave part of the spoon, looking into a spoon on the convex side you are distorted but right side up, but on the concave side you are upside down. ““Do not try and bend the spoon. That’s impossible. Instead… only try to realize the truth.” “What truth?” “There is no spoon.”
• Neo riding in the car states that he used to eat noodles from a place. Then has the realization that it wasn’t real. Contrasted to Cypher who didn’t want to know and go back to the delusion.

Other tidbits from Greek and other mythology were brought in on the next movies. Morpheus is the lord of dreams, Persephone played by Monia Belluci, The Oracle, Niobe, Osirus, Gnosis and others. Zion as the last human city.

Tyson respects the storytelling and the story of the Christ has outlived civilizations.

Interesting real versus virtual world distinction. Are we in a simulated universe? Tyson thinks maybe the original or one that is already in a simulated one. 1 in 2 chance basically. Fishburne makes the distinction between our virtual or social media presence vs how we portray ourselves in the real world. Many of us live digital lives that are a different representation of ourselves.

They talk about the Singularity as well which is when technology and probably AI will be stronger than humans and cause unforeseen changes.

While some of their takes are interesting, it’s pretty clear you can see at least some of the story of Christ in the Matrix just as you can the reality of God’s Creation poking through the gynocentrism that arose from feminism. However, like most topics in today’s culture, there is some truth mixed with a lot of gnosticism and non-Christian mythology.

The absolute degeneracy of modern writing

A reader writes in with a video recommendation for the blog aptly named The Absolute Degeneracy of Modern Writing

I highly suggest watching it, but to summarize it for those time consumed she goes over several points.

• Literature porn has existed for hundreds of years so it’s nothing new
• However in the past couple of decades the rise of this type of literature especially in the New York Times best seller list has become more prominent though not necessarily more popular
• There’s less push back against this type of porn because it’s easier to demonize male/men form of porn and especially the feminists do not push back against this sort of thing either

This means that much more women and especially middle school and high school aged girls (10-19) are being exposed and getting addicted to this variation of porn. It almost inevitably will negatively affect their expectations in a boyfriend or husband

• The Female Sexual Response is particularly pertinent here, and she notes that it’s more narrative driven than the male sexual response. This is a good observation that we haven’t necessarily grasped before in its entirety although PUAs have been calling versions of this both on dates and trying to get sex getting a woman immersed into the situation.
• Basically, the NARRATIVE is that the woman wants to imagine themselves in the situation which is from the beginning-to-end attraction and seduction. In other words, they want to experience both the Kingdom and then the Rule. The attractive, rich, successful, charismatic leader guides them and their emotions in seduction to the sexual climax.
• She doesn’t talk about 50 Shades in particular but it’s that sort of genre except more masked under the guise of an actual story. She discusses some of the patterned plot points that some of the most popular women authors use.
• Though the video maker doesn’t mention it, this also explains why women are more likely to sext than men. Men tend to ask for pictures, but women like the descriptions of sexting better. It follows a story narrative that she can get immersed in.

It’s a very good video if you have some time to watch. I think at least partially contributes to the “hoe-flation” of modern womens’ expectations coupled with their sexual degeneracy.