Authority and obedience are not necessarily two sides of the same coin

In Dalrock’s marriage isn’t a military unit, Oscar brings up a good question:

Here’s the conundrum. The definition of the word “authority” is: the power or right to give orders, make decisions, and enforce obedience (synonyms: power, jurisdiction, command, control, charge, dominance, rule, sovereignty, supremacy).

If a husband has authority over his wife, how does he enforce her obedience? And if he’s not allowed to enforce her obedience, how, exactly, does he have authority over her?

Obviously, Warthog’s answer of “beat her into submission” is wrong. But, what’s right?

Gary Eden gets the closest, from what I’ve seen, but then veers off in the wrong direction.

“force her to obey” is always a distraction. You can’t force anyone to do anything; as the early Christian martyr’s proved with their life. But you can influence. You can set consequences for disobedience.

Withholding attention and dread game can work to influence a wife. But they are at best, indirect means and at worst, passive aggressive.These are popular in the Red Pill community because they are about the only tools a man has when the wife is firmly in control and he is trying to regain power by stealth. I’m not saying they’re bad or wrong, I’m just pointing out the context of those. That is not the full extent of what a husband can do.

Ultimately, it’s going to come down to setting consequences for disobedience. That can come in many many different forms. The cold shoulder is exactly that, a consequence of bad behavior.

This is incredibly unpopular in church circles. But if a man cannot establish consequences for bad behavior he has no real authority in the relationship (de facto).

The ironic thing is that while the church, society and law will do everything to makes sure you have no de facto power in their effort to cancel God’s de jure establishment of husband as had, they can’t outdo the God’s creation…

“Your Desire Will Be For Your Husband, And He Will Rule Over You”

Often all that is required is for you to have the brass balls to just seize control. They’ll squawk and complain and bluff ahead of time but in the end, they want to be ruled. All the bitter feminist talking heads in the world can’t stop a woman who is thrilled to be ruled by her husband. Maybe you’ll have to do it slowly. Certainly you’ll have to do it with understanding. But no one is going to just hand it to you; least of all an American Christian woman.

To correctly understand the situation, you must understand all of the underlying dynamics first.

  1. The husband has usually abdicated the head position or never been in it in the first place
  2. The wife has usually been acting as the de facto head (via abdication) or constantly been in it
  3. It could be the case that the husband has always been the head and the wife rebels, but this tends to be rare.

Next, it is important to understand Scriptural marital obligations and vows.

  1. It is the obligation of the wife to submit to her husband, as to the Lord (e.g. Eph 5, Col 3, Tit 2, 1 Pet 3, 1 Tim 3, etc.) and respect her husband (Eph 5, 1 Pet 3).
  2. It is the obligation of the husband to love his wife sacrificially toward sanctification (e.g. Eph 5), treat the wife as he would himself three different times (Eph 5), nourish and cherish (Eph 5), not be embittered toward his wife (Col 3), and live toward her with understanding that she is a weaker vessel and co-heir in Christ (1 Pet 3).
  3. Vows — whatever VOWS you took, the Lord counts as binding:

Example: “I, ___, take thee, ___, to be my wedded husband/wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part, according to God’s holy ordinance; and thereto I pledge thee my faith [or] pledge myself to you.”

Let’s work out the rest of this out.

  • Your primary goal is to obey God rather than men

This should go without saying, but we should be more concerned with how we are viewed in God’s eyes than in our spouses/wives. This will change how we act toward them because we know that God does not tolerate our excuses, foolish behavior, and justifications.

“I forced my wife to obey because that’s what you said she should do in the Bible” ain’t gonna fly.

  • To the commands to each spouse are unconditional.

They don’t say that wives should only submit to their husbands if they are acting loving and kind. They don’t say that husbands should only love their wives if she is respectful and obedient.

Unconditional commands help break negative behavior cycles where the wife acts bad, then the husband respond poorly, the wife responds poorly to that, and so on.

  • The exception temptation

As I have noted before, whenever wifely obligations get brought up in Bible studies, there is always the exceptions that get brought up such as “what if he tells me to sin.” These exceptions are distractions from the commands–it is the exception temptation. Submit to your husband in all things, as to the Lord.

Gary Eden rightly identifies that “force her to obey” is a distraction from the commands of God. This is somewhat on the mark in terms of the influence paragraph, but then goes off on the tangent.


Putting it together

Your goal as a husband is not to “force her to obey” but to:

  1. Love your wife sacrificially toward sanctification (e.g. Eph 5),
  2. Treat your wife as you would yourself three different times (Eph 5),
  3. Nourish and cherish her (Eph 5),
  4. Not be embittered toward your wife (Col 3),
  5. Live toward her with understanding that she is a weaker vessel and co-heir in Christ (1 Pet 3).

Husbands in the situation of abdication or never led their marriage with wives who are de facto leaders are in a place of role reversal or rebellion. How does God treat us when we are rebellious and disobedient?

Romans 5:8 But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.

He makes the first move, to lead by example by sending Christ to die for us.

God’s marital commands are not here so that a wife will obey her husband (even though that is the optimal outcome), but so that a husband can show a rebellious wife how God loves us and how Christ loves His Church. This is how we reflect the Christ-Church image as the husband and wife.

Christ does not force us to obey, He shows us by His example and then asks (not demands) us to follow Him.

John 14:15 “If you love Me, you will keep My commandments.

John 15:10 If you keep My commandments, you will abide in My love; just as I have kept My Father’s commandments and abide in His love. 11 These things I have spoken to you so that My joy may be in you, and that your joy may be made full.

Discipline (in the form of punishment, chastisement, rebuke, or reproving) only works when those under authority accept the authority (even when they are under it but don’t accept it). A good example of this is parents and children. Children do not like it when you give them a time out or punishment for wrongdoing, but they accept it because they know your word is law. Wives who are fully submissive to their husbands like Abraham and Sarah show this.

One who is already rebellious or continues to be rebellious is acting as an unbeliever. Usually you don’t even need to “punish them” or “enforce consequences” as usually the negative behavior will have its own consequences. What you don’t want to do is to cover for those consequences. Let the wife deal with them by herself.

This is similar to what God does with Israel when turning away from him and invaded by surrounding nations. He allows them to suffer the consequences of their disobedience and idol worship. It is only when they repent and call out that he delivers them.


So what is a husband to do…

  • Be the head. Act as the leader, even when she doesn’t follow. Complaining and demanding don’t work. Leading may not work at first, but may eventually.
  • Love your wife sacrificially toward sanctification. Don’t be a hypocrite (Matthew 7:1-2). Make sure you point out your faults first and work on them. When you have a pattern of consistent behavior start to kindly point out some of hers to help her become more sanctified.
  • Love himself and love his wife as he loves himself. This is counterintuitive to most Christians, but it is Scriptural: “love your neighbor as yourself” and “So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies.”

A man who is running himself ragged to please his wife is putting her on a pedestal and idolizing her. A man must make sure he is holding himself to the standard of Christ through excellence in all that he does (heart, soul, mind, and strength or spiritually, physically, mentally, emotionally) to be able to lead by example.

This is why “self improvement” such as gaining leadership skills, working out, losing weight, gaining muscle, dressing well, and things like that helps. It’s akin to holding himself to a higher standard (which starts to satisfy her hypergamy) and makes her want to do it too.

  • Nourish and Cherish her. Meet her needs. Be kind and considerate. This shows her she is valued and important, which is important to leading by example to gain your follower’s/wife’s trust back.
  • Do not be embittered. Self explanatory, especially for husbands where their wife is not obedient. Not only does this not work, but it increases the divide between the husband and wife.
  • Live toward her with understanding that she is a weaker vessel and co-heir in Christ (1 Pet 3). She is not a man and therefore not as tough and resilient. You don’t have to treat her like fine China, but understand that men and women are different from each other and respond differently to different things.

Overall, Authority starts with that which Authority is derived: God and Jesus. They are the ones who you are accountable with the Authority first. Then yourself by holding yourself accountable to the standard of authority through godliness and excellence yourself. Then your wife. The Scriptures outline this fairly clearly.

Demanding obedience and forcing obedience are temptations like wives are tempted to use exceptions to get out of submission free. Each will be held accountable by God for what they have done to disobey Him.

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Posted in Godly mindset & lifestyle | Tagged | 13 Comments

No interest for an attractive Christian woman… or something else? Redux

Funny enough, this popped up on Wintery Knight’s Stop telling women that God will give them husbands later if they delay marriage now too.

Re-farmer comments:

I see what you’re saying. I really do. But, as others have pointed out, there are… gaps in your argument, shall we say.

One of the things you keep stressing is that women should be marriage minded when they are young and fertile (fair enough), but also while they are “prettier.” So… what about the ugly women? Or the not-conventionally attractive women? I guess they don’t count? 😉

And then I think of the experiences of my own daughters, both of whom are in their early 20’s now. Neither has been asked out on an actual date in their entire lives. One of them hasn’t had a male show interest in her since she was 13 (the guy thought she was his own age; 19). AT work, she was frequently mistaken for a male. How, I’m not sure, considering her generous… assets, shall we say… but there it is. The other worked as a cashier and would get hit on by customers all the time. She was 19-21 at the time. They were 50+ yr old contractors. A co-worker got hit on by much older customers so often, she started wearing an engagement ring, hoping it would dissuade them. It didn’t. And she looks a good 5 years younger than my daughter, which puts it in the creepy as heck category.

I realize you are posting from a guy’s point of view, but there is an entire world young women are living in that you know nothing about. Not saying there aren’t women as you describe, but perhaps there is more to the issue then you are seeing.

I respond:

It’s very rare for women to get mistaken as a man. There’s usually several reasons involved in this:

1. She is wearing androgynous clothing like jeans and t-shirts instead of feminine oriented clothing like skirts and dresses
2. Her hair is cut short
3. She has masculine facial features
4. She has masculine mannerisms or speech
5. She doesn’t wear feminine accessories like earrings
6. Tasteful feminine makeup

All these are changeable, except masculine facial features.

You need to encourage her to dress and be more feminine.

She responds:

Or people just assume that an employee in a hardware store is male, even when most of the employees are female. Every time it happened, it was always a male customer, and they always apologized immediately. She was never offended and just laughed it off.

Why should I encourage her to dress more “feminine”? She dresses appropriately for the need. We’re getting back to blaming women for men’s responses to them.

I respond:

Paragraph 1: Hard to do with feminine clothing, long hair, female accessories, etc.

Paragraph 2: This is hilarious, honestly.

You’re the one complaining that your daughters are recognized like men, not me. You’re the one complaining that your daughters haven’t been asked out on dates, not me.

Perhaps you try something different if the same old same old isn’t working, instead of complaining that we’re now blaming women for men’s responses.

Her response:

Actually, no. I wasn’t complaining. I simply made a comment. You’re the one who is making all sorts of assumptions with absolutely zero information about my daughters, instead of addressing the actual point of my comment. Did you even catch what that was?

My girls are adults now – did you miss the part where I mentioned they are in their 20s? They are not 2 yr olds that need me to tell them how to dress. They do just fine, regardless of what conclusions you have drawn about them out of your own imagination.

There’s really no need to deign the last comment with a response, so I stopped.

In the old days, parents actually gave you useful dating advice. Now they actively sabotage your chances for relationships by giving you bad advice and doubling down on it when they’re called out.

Also, the old ‘victim blaming’ complex, lack of common sense, and combative attitude has made it into rural areas now too it seems.

Posted in Godly mindset & lifestyle | Tagged | 14 Comments

No interest for an attractive Christian woman… or something else?

On Dalrock’s Incentives Matter, Jean comments:

We have a 22- year-old daughter who’s basically out of luck when it comes to getting married. There are just not enough suitable men to go around. Most worthwhile men in her age range are already married or engaged, and the rest who aren’t can command absolute perfection in the woman they choose. As parents, we really didn’t see that coming.

Our daughter is a debt-free virgin with no tattoos (haha), an 8/10 in appearance according to objective observers, fit and active, firm in her faith, kind and loyal, and would love to be a wife and SAHM more than anything else. Very not a feminist. She has a great sense of humor, but she’s reserved when she just meets people. She loves to cook and clean and decorate and make ordinary things special for the people she loves. On the downside, I guess for some, she has a degree and a career (that she’s very willing to give up for a family), lives on her own with her own money (too independent for some), she’s never dated anyone (which to some people is a red flag), and sometimes she has some acne (we’ve tried everything). She’s capable of driving a manual transmission and of doing manual labor (on missions trips or helping her dad around here), which I guess some people interpret as unfeminine (although the farm ladies at our church can do all that and more without becoming unfeminine). So she’s not terrible. Just not excellent enough to be chosen.

She’s constantly approached by the über-handsome PUA type who are quickly uninterested when they realize she’s not looking for one of them. But the men she’s attracted to—quiet Christian guys, handsome to her, productive, with good morals—never reciprocate her interest. I don’t know if they’re holding out for someone better or what. I keep hoping that eventually someone will realize he’s not going to get the ultimate dream girl and will settle for my daughter, but quite possibly not.

She’s starting to realize that she’s probably going to be left out of marriage and motherhood. It makes her sad, but she’s not willing to just grab someone to have someone and then make a train wreck of things. Her list of must-haves, as I outlined above, is short and pretty open, but there just isn’t anyone like that who’s interested in her, even though she’s done things “right” as a young woman.

Deti answers:

This makes no sense at all. If your daughter really is what you say she is, she should have no trouble at all finding men who are interested. None whatsoever. There should be at least 5 men interested in her, and who have shown interest. I simply do not believe this. The only way this makes any sense is

–you live in a very small town and are isolated from most other people
–you live in an isolated, closed, cloistered religious group
–your daughter is sending signals of disinterest to men

I suspect this because you say she is reserved when just meeting people. Well, if your daughter really is attracted to “quiet Christian guys” with “good morals”, she’s going to have to step out a little and make that interest VERY VERY clear.

But the men she’s attracted to—quiet Christian guys, handsome to her, productive, with good morals—never reciprocate her interest. I don’t know if they’re holding out for someone better or what.

I don’t believe this either. She isn’t showing interest in them. If she really were showing interest in them, they’d notice and reciprocate. Your daughter could very, very easily get every single one of these men interested in her. Very easily.

Jean, there could be many things going on here. I don’t know. It could be any one or a combination of:

–Your daughter is not anywhere close to as physically attractive as you say she is.
–She isn’t really interested in these Christian men.
–If she is interested in these Christian men, she’s not showing it clearly enough.
–she’s sending signals to these Christian men that they are interpreting as disinterest, whether right or wrong.
–She isn’t as kind and nice as you think she is.
–You, and she, are isolated and cloistered.
–Her standards are too high.
–She isn’t really making herself available to men wanting to date her.

One of the things I’ve noticed more when talking to my wife is the differences in the way men and women rate attractiveness. I’ve somewhat explored this before, but women don’t really understand male attraction.

Women that my wife may rate an “8” I would only rate as a “6” in attractiveness and vice versa. The difference between an 8 and a 6 is pretty huge. The majority of men would be likely fall over themselves trying to date an 8, but many men would simply be interested in dating a 6. Of course, the same can be said for women to men, so you can see how there is also a bottleneck when the average is in the 4-6 range. The people who are more attractive have a big advantage in getting married. But that was always the case. You can see above in the comments where there was a lot of misunderstanding until I explained how curves played into that.

In any case, a woman with obvious acne is generally not an 8 to begin with, so we can see the cracks in the story there. It’s likely that these objective observers are biased.

One thing I would add to Deti’s list is that if she is physically attractive but her style could suck. If she’s wearing more form fitting dresses and skirts that bring out her attractiveness or attractive body, that would make men more inclined to initiate or at the very least tell her she’s beautiful (if she was objectively an 8).

Contrary to many of Dalrock’s commenters, most Christian men actually want to see that their wife is living by herself and can support herself.

Of course, none of these women or parents actually want their daughter to play the Ruth role. Ruth update. That means going out of your way to make it obvious to a man that you’re interested.

Ruth 3:1 One day Ruth’s mother-in-law Naomi said to her, “My daughter, I must find a home for you, where you will be well provided for. 2 Now Boaz, with whose women you have worked, is a relative of ours. Tonight he will be winnowing barley on the threshing floor. 3 Wash, put on perfume, and get dressed in your best clothes. Then go down to the threshing floor, but don’t let him know you are there until he has finished eating and drinking. 4 When he lies down, note the place where he is lying. Then go and uncover his feet and lie down. He will tell you what to do.”

5 “I will do whatever you say,” Ruth answered. 6 So she went down to the threshing floor and did everything her mother-in-law told her to do. 7 When Boaz had finished eating and drinking and was in good spirits, he went over to lie down at the far end of the grain pile. Ruth approached quietly, uncovered his feet and lay down.

8 In the middle of the night something startled the man; he turned—and there was a woman lying at his feet! 9 “Who are you?” he asked. “I am your servant Ruth,” she said. “Spread the corner of your garment over me, since you are a guardian-redeemer of our family.”

The funny part about this story was that Naomi told Ruth to show up at Boaz’s “house” unannounced, invite herself in, lay down near him until he wakes up, and then confess to him. This would literally be called ‘stalking’ nowadays. There is one thing about human nature then and now: if you’re attractive it’s not stalking but romantic.

Yet Christian woman today don’t even want to try to flirt with men or start up conversations with men they like or show interest in him or his hobbies and things like that. I just don’t get it.

Posted in Godly mindset & lifestyle | Tagged | 12 Comments

Kavanaugh is innocent, as many “innocent until proven guilty” supporters expected

I actually went and read through the main parts of the 414 page Senate Committee report.

Ford allegations:

Committee investigators found no verifiable evidence that supported Dr. Ford’s allegations against Justice Kavanaugh. The witnesses that Dr. Ford identified as individuals who could corroborate her allegations failed to do so, and in fact, contradicted her.

Ramirez allegations:

Committee investigators found no verifiable evidence to support Ramirez’s allegations.

Swetnick allegations:

The Committee found no verifiable evidence to support Swetnick’s allegations. Indeed, the evidence appears to support the position that Julie Swetnick and Mr. Avenatti criminally conspired to make materially false statements to the Committee and obstruct the Committee’s investigation. Accordingly, the Committee referred both to the Department of Justice and FBI for investigation and potential violations of 18 U.S.C. § 371, § 1001, and § 1505 on October 25, 2018. In addition, on October 26, 2018, the Committee made a second criminal referral against Michael Avenatti to the Justice Department and FBI for investigation of potential violations of 18 U.S.C. §§ 1001 (knowingly providing materially false statements) and 1505 (obstruction of a congressional investigation), based upon the NBC story that evidenced that Mr. Avenatti may have fabricated allegations by a second declarant.

Rhode Island allegation:

The Committee found no verifiable evidence to support the allegations. Indeed, the evidence appears to support the position that [blacked out] provided false information. Accordingly, the Committee referred both to the Department of Justice and FBI for investigation and potential violations of 18 U.S.C. § 1001 (knowingly providing materially false statements), and § 1505 (obstruction of a congressional investigation).

Colorado allegations:

The Committee found no evidence to support the allegations in the anonymous Colorado letter. The alleged victim of the incident—the woman Justice Kavanaugh was dating when he authored parts of the Starr Report—denied the event ever took place. Justice Kavanaugh similarly denied engaging in the alleged conduct. The letter is anonymous, and the Committee has no way to identify the sender for further investigation. The Committee found no verifiable evidence to support the allegations.

California allegations:

The Committee found no credible evidence to support the allegations in the Jane Doe letter. Justice Kavanaugh denied engaging in the alleged conduct. The letter is anonymous, and the Committee has no way to identify the sender for further investigation. Although Judy MunroLeighton emailed several Senate offices to claim responsibility for the letter, she later admitted that she was not the author of it and merely used it as a “ploy” to “get attention” and had never met Justice Kavanaugh.

Basically, Kavanaugh was enraged for good reason. Lots of people were falsely accusing him of terrible things. Not just 1 or 2 or 3 but 6 different allegations have come up that have all proved immaterial. Many in fact were simply made up for attention or ulterior motives.

I don’t doubt that Ford believes it was Kavanaugh who groped raped her, but it’s likely someone who looks like Kavanaugh and/or a false memory.

For the former, in a Senate report there were two interesting entries that are eerily like Ford’s allegations:

(Sept. 24, Sept. 25): [Blacked out] stated that after graduating from high school in Hampton, Virginia in 1982, he made several trips to D.C. that summer. During one of the trips, he attended a house party where he kissed and made out with a woman he met who he believes could have been Dr. Ford. said that based on old photographs of Justice Kavanaugh he has seen on the news, he believes the two of them share a similar appearance.

(Sept. 26): [Blacked out] stated that when he was a 19 year-old college student, he visited D.C. over spring break and kissed a girl he believes was Dr. Ford. He said that the kiss happened in the bedroom of a house which was about a 15-to-20 minute walk from the Van Ness Metro, that Dr. Ford was wearing a swimsuit under her clothing, and that the kissing ended when a friend jumped on them as a joke. said that the woman initiated the kissing and that he did not force himself on her.

In particular, the 2nd one is almost word for word on her accusations of Kavanaugh and Judge.

For the latter, Ben Sharipo notes that in this Newsweek article:

One report from the U.S. National Research Council explains that eyewitnesses are notoriously unreliable: “Unknown to the individual, memories are forgotten, reconstructed, updated, and distorted.” Elizabeth Loftus of the University of Washington points out that memories can easily be distorted by misinformation; in her words, memories are “more easily modified, for instance, when the passage of time allows the original memory to fade.” False memories “are constructed by combining actual memories with the content of suggestions received from others.” In a small-scale study performed by Loftus, fully 25 percent of respondents remembered false events constructed for them, and insisted that those events were real memories.

Whatever the case, Ford was likely not assaulted by Kavanaugh, and the smear campaign was a smear campaign.

Of course, you’ll not hear a peep of this in the mainstream media that Kavanaugh is innocent. I did a search for it and only saw it in Fox News and a couple other small time papers.

Posted in Godly mindset & lifestyle | Tagged | 12 Comments

Your future wife should be happy to take your last name

Another interesting topic has come out of reddit: I didn’t know that a Biblical view on a wife taking her husband’s last name would get downvoted or even opposed in the RPChristians reddit.

This means that this is probably another one of the cultural blindspots for Christians. Most Christians stated that name-taking was merely a “cultural phenomena” and one made the argument that it appears to be an “abuse of authority” that a wife should take your last name.

Overall, I disagree with the people who say there are no Biblical arguments for this.

Genesis 2:24 That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.

A woman leaving her name behind signifies she is becoming a new family unit with her husband. It is the husband who separates from his father and mother and becomes the head of the family, and the wife who joins him. They become one flesh, as a new family.

This is also practiced in almost all cultures. There are only a few exceptions.

John 15:12 My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. 13 Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. 14 You are my friends if you do what I command. 15 I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. 16 You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit—fruit that will last—and so that whatever you ask in my name the Father will give you. 17 This is my command: Love each other.

The reason we take on the name of “Christian” is because we are followers of Christ and adhere to His teachings.

Likewise, as Christ is the head of man (1 Cor 11) and Christ is the head of the Church (Eph 5), the husband is also the head of the wife (Eph 5) and the wife is a helper to her husband (Gen 2). There is a clear parallel of headship/authority where the one under authority also assumes the identity of the one that is leading.

Some other evidence pointed out in the post:

  • Genealogies in Scriptures track sons and fathers
  • God renames Abram/Abraham, Sarai/Sarah, Saul/Paul, Jacob/Israel, etc.
  • Christ renames Christians (Rev 2)
  • Adam names Eve

So yes, a wife should take her husband’s last name for Scriptural reasons. There are also good secular and cultural reasons such as in eye of the law for family management (healthcare, finances, etc.).

I do not see any good reason not to except to follow the “trends” of today’s culture, and we all know how “Christian” those are.

A future wife should be HAPPY to take your last name. This can be a yellow or red flag that you run into with a potential wife candidate if she is opposed to refuses to take your last name. This can be covert feminism coming to the surface.

The funny part for those who disagree a wife should take their husband’s last name is that by keeping a wife’s last name you get double the Patriarchy: your last name from your father and her father’s last name. Have a good laugh at that.

Posted in Godly mindset & lifestyle | Tagged | 11 Comments

Honor the Sabbath

A Christian writes on reddit:

Currently I am in a dilemma. I want to keep the sabbath holy and honor the word of God, however I also unfortunately have sporting events/showcases that take place on the day of the sabbath, and I personally have a great chance to play at a very high level for my respective sport. If anyone has had anything similar occur with them, or just wants to give advice, any help is appreciated. Thank you and God bless you all!

My response. Look at the intent behind the Sabbath.

Exodus 20:8 “Remember the Sabbath day by keeping it holy. 9 Six days you shall labor and do all your work, 10 but the seventh day is a sabbath to the Lord your God. On it you shall not do any work, neither you, nor your son or daughter, nor your male or female servant, nor your animals, nor any foreigner residing in your towns. 11 For in six days the Lord made the heavens and the earth, the sea, and all that is in them, but he rested on the seventh day. Therefore the Lord blessed the Sabbath day and made it holy.

The Jews keep it on Saturday. Christians moved it to Sunday (even though God “rested” from raising Jesus on Saturday).

Jesus notes the intent of the Sabbath is that it is made for man not man for the Sabbath.

Mark 2:25 He answered, “Have you never read what David did when he and his companions were hungry and in need? 26 In the days of Abiathar the high priest, he entered the house of God and ate the consecrated bread, which is lawful only for priests to eat. And he also gave some to his companions.”

27 Then he said to them, “The Sabbath was made for man, not man for the Sabbath. 28 So the Son of Man is Lord even of the Sabbath.”

Here’s a simple question: Is there a difference between Saturday or Sunday? Not really. The intent is to honor God and to rest just as God rested.

Thus, move your Sabbath to Saturday or another day of the week.


What I am curious about is if my readers agree/disagree with this.

I think there is an adequate case to be made that the intent of the command is that we are to honor God and rest. It doesn’t matter which day it is done. There is freedom in Christ for this.

I think it is probably best done Sunday if possible, so we can worship and fellowship with other believers. But it does not always have to be that way.

Posted in Godly mindset & lifestyle | Tagged | 12 Comments

Christian men’s blogs

Like Cane is doing, if you have a Christian men’s blog that focuses on Christian men’s issues, mentorship, and discipleship that you think are good, post them in the comments.

Here is the current list, which was parsed down several years ago to active ones only.

I haven’t updated my blogroll in several years either, so comment away. Also, make sure you add why you think it should be added if you can.

Also, I know I removed a bunch of the inactive ones, but if there is an inactive one that you think is important I will be adding an “inactive but important” section so that people can go back through the archives.

I’m going to eventually post a list over to the RPChristians reddit, as many of those men have been entrenched in the secular manosphere. It has made/makes them exceedingly bitter against God, women, and others. A good list will help to give them things to read to disciple them out from the darkness and into the light.

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Biblical marital perspectives

I’ve gone over this before in some old posts, but I haven’t pointed out the correct Biblical perspective that can be enlightening to most Christians. One of the onuses for this is the commentary on this post.

If you notice, the Biblical marital roles and responsibilities for husbands and wives are different. The husbands have different commands than the wives have. What most also don’t notice is that the husband and wife marital perspectives are different too.

The Biblical marital relationship is one of headship-submission and love-respect. The husband’s are called to a horizontal relationship while the wife is called to a vertical relationship. Put together, this shows the powerful imagery of the cross.

This is consistent throughout the Scripture in any headship or authority relationship.

Those under authority are always told to submit and respect. Those in authority are always told to love and treat those under them well and/or with honor. This includes masters and slaves and also Christ-Christians and also God-Jesus when He was here on earth. You can see that Paul always call himself a slave/bond-servant for Christ in his letters to the Churches.

Indeed, the Biblical perspective is that:

  • The husband should treat his wife as an equal. Ephesians 5 states that a husband should treat his wife “as his own body” 3 different times. 1 Peter 3 states that husbands should treat their wives in an understanding way as the weaker vessel and to honor them as a co-heir in Christ.
  • The wife should treat her husband as her head. Submission and respect are the responsibilities in Ephesians 5, Colossians 3, Titus 2, and 1 Peter 3.

Complementarians get this twisted.

They claim that a husband cannot tell his wife that she should submit, when in fact Jesus lays down a “if you love me” statement to Christians. A husband is to help sanctify his wife in Ephesians 5 which means helping her submit and obey.

John 14:15 “If you love Me, you will keep My commandments.

John 15:10 If you keep My commandments, you will abide in My love; just as I have kept My Father’s commandments and abide in His love. 11 These things I have spoken to you so that My joy may be in you, and that your joy may be made full.

Jesus qualifies this in that through submission and obedience to Him, He does not call us slaves (inferior position) but friends (equal position).

John 15:12 “This is My commandment, that you love one another, just as I have loved you. 13 Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends. 14 You are My friends if you do what I command you. 15 No longer do I call you slaves, for the slave does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all things that I have heard from My Father I have made known to you.

It’s easy to get blinded by feminist equality.

The correct Biblical marital perspective is that husbands as the head should consider wives as equal, but wives should consider husbands with submission and respect. This gives us an important conclusion.

Wives trying to treat their husbands as equal is disobedient to the Scriptures just as husbands treating their wives as servants.

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Symbolism and rooting of feminism in culture

It’s been a bit, and I’m still here. Life has just gotten a bit busy. A couple readers have sent in some videos.

Symbolism and propaganda in popular culture:

Quite insightful in how the themes in the films are developed.

Paganism is today’s culture:

I’ll start to begin posting a lot more as I have time!

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Opting in to the Biblical framework for marriage

One of the biggest and most overlooked concepts that the arranged marriage, courtship models, or dating models do not cover is that one must opt in to the Biblical framework for marriage.

As we have noted before, the Biblical commands to the husband and wife are unconditional. The husband is to be the head, protect, provide, love, cherish and nourish his wife. The wife is to respect, submit and obey, and be affectionate toward her husband. These commands are irrespective of any bad behavior or sins committed by the opposite spouse.

The problem with attraction (or romantic love) being the major component of a dating/courtship/marriage is that these things are conditional. Attraction may wax and wane depending on how fleeting the feelings of the husband or the wife or if certain mistakes or incidences happen such as becoming lazy, overweight, bad behavior, or sin. Feelings tend to be emphasized at the cost of duty and fidelity.

Arranged marriage is a bit more nebulous because there are varying ways that works. In some cultures, the husband and wife don’t meet each other until they’re getting married. In some others, like Jewish culture, they met at least a few times and the potential husband/wife had some type of veto power if they really didn’t like the other potential spouse.

Although arranged marriage probably results in a somewhat closer mimicry of Biblical marriage, a couple must still opt into the Biblical framework for the husband to love and cherish unconditionally and the wife to respect and submit unconditionally regardless of it the spouse goes on a bad behavior streak or even off of the reservation.

Getting husbands and wives to do that is hard, but that’s because humans like to weasel out of responsibilities.

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