I received a comment on A detailed timeline and how to guide on the process of finding a wife about perceived shallowness. Although I addressed this there, let me address it more directly. Here is my comment:
Also, very shallow to point to physical characteristics as being those things that attract women. You need a better inspiration.
“1. Physical beauty and being handsome are not shallow. Period. God created these to be attractive, so calling them shadow is akin to insulting God’s creation.
2. Women are attracted to physical characteristics including: height, muscles with low body fat (e.g. abs, V-taper, backs, legs, chest, arms), handsome face, and lots of other things.
That’s just how it is. If you deny that women like these things then you’re only lying to yourself thinking the world should be one way when it is simply what it is.
Now, a handsome man is not the ONLY thing that women are looking for. Other attractors include the aforementioned personality/masculinity, status/fame, athleticism and talent, and money.”
Let’s move on though.
The shaming tactic
Obviously, the charge of shallowness is a feminist shaming tactic specifically the Charge of Puerility (Code Green) – The Peter Pan Charge.
Discussion: The target is accused of being immature and/or irresponsible in some manner that reflects badly on his status as an adult male. Examples:
1. “Grow up!”
2. “You are so immature!”
3. “Do you live with your mother?”
4. “I’m not interested in boys. I’m interested in real men.”
5. “Men are shirking their God-given responsibility to marry and bear children.”
Shallowness, in particular, is aimed categorizing physical beauty or being handsome into something that is not valuable because it is simply surface level. In other words: if you were more mature [you would look past physical beauty], and you would appreciate valuable things [such as inner beauty] instead.
This is Christian legalism at it’s finest.
1 Peter 3:3-4 Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious.
Proverbs 31:30 Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
1 Samuel 16:7 But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.”
1 Timothy 4:8 for bodily discipline is only of little profit, but godliness is profitable for all things, since it holds promise for the present life and also for the life to come.
Christians often have a very difficult time understanding Scriptures which talk about inner and outer beauty. They often create a false dichotomy out of them: inner beauty OR outer beauty. You can’t have both, and inner beauty is obviously more important!
However, that is simply not the case. There is no dichotomy between inner and outer beauty. You can have both, but it is more important to cultivate and look for inner beauty as it is eternal.
The reason that the charge of shallowness is false humility is that it erases the objective nature of what God has created to be good.
- God created all of the things of the world in 6 days. This includes nature which all of us would say is beautiful. There are amazingly gorgeous shots of nature plastered all over the Internet. God created this to be good.
- On the 6th day God created man and woman in his own image. He created them to be VERY good.
- God created within the nature of man and woman to appreciate beauty with our eyes.
Here’s the rub which you can see coming a mile away.
We, as Christians, love nature and see that it reflects, with awe inspiring wonder, the creativity and greatness of God. This is what our Father created to be good. However, appreciating and being attracted to the physical beauty or handsomeness that God has created within humans is shallow? This thing that we call shallow is what our Father created to be VERY good.
Hence, it is false humility thinking that you can tear down the God’s creation of physical beauty to which men and women are attracted to in each other as shallow.
Indeed, in most cases when someone accuses another of “shallowness,” this accusation is not solely aimed at informing the other of their supposed shallowness. Instead, this charge of shallowness is aimed at making the accuser appear more spiritual. This is the core of false humility.
Additionally, agreeing with “shallowness” and speaking of it in a positive light is a false humility grab. You are saying that you are “beyond” valuing the external beauty of God’s creation, and that you instead only value internal beauty. However, by devaluing external beauty you are simply condemning things that God has created to be good and very good.
The reason why it is a feminist shaming tactic is that feminists like to try to tear down what is beautiful. Dalrock has touched on this concept before in frigidity is ugly. Sex in marriage is freely given because it is created by God for us, and it is beautiful as it drives intimacy and family creation which are all beautiful things. Feminists push for no fault divorce, contraception, denial of sex, and selfishness in women all of which are ugly things and destroy the structure of the family which God created in Genesis 2.
The phrase I have said here before bears repeating: You cannot be a Christian and a feminist.
Thus, whenever a Christian says physical beauty or handsomeness is “shallow” they are devaluing the external beauty of all of God’s creation. They are ingrained in a mindset of false humility which should be exposed for the ugly feminist shaming tactic that it is.