Shallowness is false humility

I received a comment on A detailed timeline and how to guide on the process of finding a wife about perceived shallowness. Although I addressed this there, let me address it more directly. Here is my comment:

Also, very shallow to point to physical characteristics as being those things that attract women. You need a better inspiration.

“1. Physical beauty and being handsome are not shallow. Period. God created these to be attractive, so calling them shadow is akin to insulting God’s creation.

2. Women are attracted to physical characteristics including: height, muscles with low body fat (e.g. abs, V-taper, backs, legs, chest, arms), handsome face, and lots of other things.

That’s just how it is. If you deny that women like these things then you’re only lying to yourself thinking the world should be one way when it is simply what it is.

Now, a handsome man is not the ONLY thing that women are looking for. Other attractors include the aforementioned personality/masculinity, status/fame, athleticism and talent, and money.”

Let’s move on though.

The shaming tactic

Obviously, the charge of shallowness is a feminist shaming tactic specifically the Charge of Puerility (Code Green) – The Peter Pan Charge.

Discussion: The target is accused of being immature and/or irresponsible in some manner that reflects badly on his status as an adult male.  Examples:

1. “Grow up!”
2. “You are so immature!”
3. “Do you live with your mother?”
4. “I’m not interested in boys.  I’m interested in real men.”
5. “Men are shirking their God-given responsibility to marry and bear children.”

Shallowness, in particular, is aimed categorizing physical beauty or being handsome into something that is not valuable because it is simply surface level. In other words: if you were more mature [you would look past physical beauty], and you would appreciate valuable things [such as inner beauty] instead.

This is Christian legalism at it’s finest.

1 Peter 3:3-4 Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious.

Proverbs 31:30 Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.

1 Samuel 16:7 But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.”

1 Timothy 4:8 for bodily discipline is only of little profit, but godliness is profitable for all things, since it holds promise for the present life and also for the life to come.

Christians often have a very difficult time understanding Scriptures which talk about inner and outer beauty. They often create a false dichotomy out of them: inner beauty OR outer beauty. You can’t have both, and inner beauty is obviously more important!

However, that is simply not the case. There is no dichotomy between inner and outer beauty. You can have both, but it is more important to cultivate and look for inner beauty as it is eternal.

False humility

The reason that the charge of shallowness is false humility is that it erases the objective nature of what God has created to be good.

  • God created all of the things of the world in 6 days. This includes nature which all of us would say is beautiful. There are amazingly gorgeous shots of nature plastered all over the Internet. God created this to be good.
  • On the 6th day God created man and woman in his own image. He created them to be VERY good.
  • God created within the nature of man and woman to appreciate beauty with our eyes.

Here’s the rub which you can see coming a mile away.

We, as Christians, love nature and see that it reflects, with awe inspiring wonder, the creativity and greatness of God. This is what our Father created to be good. However, appreciating and being attracted to the physical beauty or handsomeness that God has created within humans is shallow? This thing that we call shallow is what our Father created to be VERY good.

Hence, it is false humility thinking that you can tear down the God’s creation of physical beauty to which men and women are attracted to in each other as shallow.

Indeed, in most cases when someone accuses another of “shallowness,” this accusation is not solely aimed at informing the other of their supposed shallowness. Instead, this charge of shallowness is aimed at making the accuser appear more spiritual. This is the core of false humility.

Additionally, agreeing with “shallowness” and speaking of it in a positive light is a false humility grab. You are saying that you are “beyond” valuing the external beauty of God’s creation, and that you instead only value internal beauty. However, by devaluing external beauty you are simply condemning things that God has created to be good and very good.

Conclusions

The reason why it is a feminist shaming tactic is that feminists like to try to tear down what is beautiful. Dalrock has touched on this concept before in frigidity is ugly. Sex in marriage is freely given because it is created by God for us, and it is beautiful as it drives intimacy and family creation which are all beautiful things. Feminists push for no fault divorce, contraception, denial of sex, and selfishness in women all of which are ugly things and destroy the structure of the family which God created in Genesis 2.

The phrase I have said here before bears repeating: You cannot be a Christian and a feminist.

Thus, whenever a Christian says physical beauty or handsomeness is “shallow” they are devaluing the external beauty of all of God’s creation. They are ingrained in a mindset of false humility which should be exposed for the ugly feminist shaming tactic that it is.

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20 Responses to Shallowness is false humility

  1. Pingback: Shallowness is false humility | Manosphere.com

  2. Looking Glass says:

    The shear majesty of much of Nature is hard to fathom. As one that grew up with an astrological bent, the Universe is a wonderfully gorgeous place. To deny the beauty of Creation is always foolishness.

    Granted, working on your Soul will, in fact, reflect in your Physical Appearance. This has a long history inside Christianity, but it takes doing the work within the Spirit. You can see what happened with Moses on Mt. Sinai. Your face will shine with the Spirit. (And the lower stress makes your facial features softer) So focusing on that which is “within” you will reflect on the “without”. Amazing that.

    Great post.

  3. Great post!

    Also, people forget that we’re attracted to good looks because they were genetically favourable. A big, red comb is attractive to hens as it is a marker of the dominant rooster. To a galapagos tortoise the longest neck wins the right to breed. These traits mark health, status and fertility to these animals.

    Humans prefer thin partners because being shapeless is a marker of poor health.
    We prefer lean muscle because being strong is good for survival.
    We prefer thick, long-ish hair because it’s a sign of healthy hormones.
    We prefer smooth, clean skin because it’s a marker of youth, which is when we are healthiest.
    Men prefer women with an hourglass shape because a large bust implies fertile maturity, a small waist suggests she isn’t already pregnant and wide hips contain healthy omega fats for nourishing babies in the womb.
    Women prefer men with an inverted triangle shape because broad shoulders suggest high testosterone and strength, a narrow waist suggests healthy organs and small hips indicate masculinity.

    Looks are indicators of health. Therefore, attraction isn’t arbitrary: it’s part of the essential process of choosing a fertile, healthy partner who will give you many strong, healthy children.

  4. Feminine But Not Feminist says:

    Ditto; this is indeed a great post! God meant for beauty to be appreciated, and He is a beautiful God! The beauty that he gives to people and nature is meant to be a reflection of His beauty, which means that it is good. We were created in His image, after all. For someone to say that appreciating that beauty makes someone shallow, then they might as well call God shallow too (which of course He is NOT), considering He intentionally made beauty to be a thing that we all (hopefully) can’t help but appreciate.

  5. Robin Munn says:

    I think the basic mistake in thinking about “shallowness” is that, as you pointed out, people think that you can’t have both inner AND outer beauty. If someone is focused ONLY on outer beauty and ignoring inner beauty, that would indeed be shallow. But because people mistakenly think that the two kinds of beauty are mutually exclusive, they end up with the following logical progression:

    1) Inner and outer beauty are mutually exclusive.
    2) Therefore, if you focus on outer beauty, you’re ignoring inner beauty.
    3) Ignoring inner beauty is shallow.
    4) Therefore, if you focus on outer beauty, you’re shallow.

    Because one premise (statement 1) is false, the conclusion (statement 4) is false. (Statement 2 is also false, BTW; only statement 3 has any truth to it). Hence the mistake: they’re reasoning from a false premise. It’s entirely possible to focus on inner AND outer beauty, and that is not at all shallow, but the best method of looking for a wife.

  6. Robin Munn says:

    Another reason for this mistake is that focusing on outer beauty comes naturally to a young man. So what his father, or the man acting in a fatherly role in his life, needs to tell him is, “Son, don’t JUST focus on outer beauty; look at inner beauty too. For example, consider (insert name of current celebrity here). Yes, she’s amazingly hot, but let’s look at this news story, and this one. Would she make a good wife? Do these news stories reveal that she has inner beauty, or inner ugliness?” It’s not necessary to tell a teenaged young man to look at a woman’s outer beauty; he does so naturally unless it’s been trained out of him.

    The thing is, many people take this too far, and they end up removing the words “just” and “too” from the above, and teaching young Christian men that outer beauty is not important at all. Hence why posts like yours are necessary, to correct these mistakes. Some people do this out of a simple mistake, because they fail to understand that physical beauty is also important (and while they’re devaluing what God created, they’re not doing so knowingly). Some do it knowingly, which is worse. But overall, this tends to be one of those cases where the lie is made of 90% of truth, with just one crucial bit of falsehood mixed in like yeast that leavens all the dough. Those are the most dangerous lies the Enemy has in his arsenal, because people see the 90% truth and think that it’s 100% truth.

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  8. @ Robin Munn

    Good thoughts on what fathers can tell their sons.

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