A frigid wife is essentially a married friend zone

I believe we’ve talked about this before, but maybe not have put it in these terms. This post is a review on the concepts and how a husband can get out of his wife’s friend zone.

Understanding the friend zone and escaping it covered the various scenarios in which a man can get out of the friend zone. These are the main 4 different ways.

• You were her friend, but she always liked you. She was waiting for you to ask her out.
• You were her friend, and you underwent some change to become a man while you didn’t see her for a while. When you meet her again you impress her.
• You were her friend, but you are developing into a man. Then one day her friend or some other random act of God makes her reconsider you and her eyes are proverbially opened.
• You were her friend, and she doesn’t know a certain side of you. An inadvertent crisis or significant display of social dominance or leadership shows her a side of you that she never saw before. She reconsiders you now as more attractive because of this masculine display.

Unfortunately, you’ll notice that some of these are ineffective or a bit harder to pull off when you are married to a wife who considers you unattractive or doesn’t want to have sex with you.

• The first one pretty much does not apply. She may have considered you attractive and liked you before, but if she’s married and does not want to have sex then she doesn’t now. This one does not apply.
• The second concept is good but it’s much harder because she will pretty much see you everyday. Hence, evident change is much harder to notice unless it is drastic.
• The third concept is typically only occurs if you can get the community on board to help change her mind and you actually are becoming attractive again.
• The fourth concept is good but like the second it is much harder to do because these scenarios don’t necessarily happen often if she is around you and knows you very well.

We can consider that the main effective ones are some blend of 2-4. This is why both the Christian and married red pill has traditionally focused on mission and self improvement holistically. A wife that has essentially friend zoned her husband already does not find him attractive or respect him, so there is the tough task to become become objectively attractive again. The main ways a man would approach this have been covered prior but here’s the common lists.

1. Christian men need to be on God’s mission. This gives a sense of purpose and direction along with being God’s will for our lives, and generally women tend to admire and respect men who are ambitious. It also takes so much focus off of her, so a man’s neediness for sex or affection aren’t continually turning her off. 1 Corinthians 7:29 What I mean, brothers and sisters, is that the time is short. From now on those who have wives should live as if they do not
2. Act as the head and leader of the family. Ephesians 5 and so on. Many times men become unattractive because they settle into the routine and may have started being lazier about doing these things. Be proactive about leading the family.
3. Aim to be excellent in all areas of life — spiritually, physically, mentally, emotionally. The Greek word for excellence in the Bible is arete and is traditionally associated with manliness. Obviously, the physical aspect of losing fat and gaining muscle is the most noticeable and effective, but the others pay dividends in spades as well transforming from a feminine mindset to a masculine mindset and regaining masculine traits.
4. Eliminating the turn offs. These are the habits and traits picked up which often lead to a husband following his wife’s lead rather than her following his lead. For example, No More Mr Nice Guy covers many different ways men may start to approach relationships from covert contracts, expectations, and a more feminine mindset rather than a masculine one. A man who walks on eggshells around his wife has already become the follower. One needs to approach conflict directly and be able to hold the ground despite a woman’s attitude if they are right especially spiritually.

It’s ideal if you can get the 3rd concept behind you with your Church and friends group. Iron sharpening iron with the men building other men up, and hopefully getting any of the girlfriends and wives on board to help influence your wife. Eliminate the malcontents and single divorcee’s if they are whisper evil in ears.

The best bet aside from the 3rd concept is the 2nd and 4th where over time the changes you made become habits and re-establish attractiveness, leadership, and traits that were there initially with or without other intervention from others and almost most definitely with God. Prayer for God to change hearts and minds is always a good idea.

If a wife is too far gone down the road of rebellion this may eventually lead to separation or divorce such as an unbeliever leaving. This is better to have that than be trapped with someone who does not want to be a wife and it gives more time to focus on God and those you love without having to worry about it.

Getting out the married friend zone is a difficult endeavor but it is possible to get out of it in many circumstances. This concludes the review.