My wife was talking to the worship leader the other day about his relationship. Apparently, the story goes that when he became the new worship leader for the Church it was only a month later that he started dating his girlfriend. He admitted that he was scoping out the women once he got there.
Then my wife follows up with the classic line. To paraphrase her: “When we (women) would go to Church services or Church conferences we would look at the worship leaders hand (to see if there was a ring) to see if he was single and if he was then potentially get to know him.”
Obviously, this statement does not need confirmation, but it is still nice to hear what women are actually thinking about their attraction as many men don’t even know this fact.
The positions such as pastor, worship leader, bible study leader, and such naturally have some of the attractive traits of PSALM – power, status. athleticism, looks, money. Typical, power and status within the Church itself that is attractive to women. Additionally, there are some masculine traits present such as confidence playing in front of a lot of people, leadership within the worship team itself, excellence/competence, and others. In the case of the worship leader add on musical talent — men get 3x more interest with guitars in their profile — and it’s clear why women are attracted to a man in that position.
For those who haven’t been around the blog that long, attraction is explained thoroughly in A Christian understanding of attraction, and the role it plays in marriage Part 3.
It’s also more often the case where the latter positions are mostly with single men. Most pastors are already married as women grab them when they’re on track to be a pastor. Worship leader or Bible study leader are typically a bit more hit or miss if they’re married or not, so those are typically the ones most women will flock toward if there’s no single pastor availability.
Of course, every man who wants to be married or who is married should be cultivating their masculine traits at the very least (confidence, leadership, courage, assertiveness, etc.) in order to be an effective Christian in evangelism and discple making which also help with leading a wife as well.