This is a very brief post from a comment I made over at Free Northerners.
I reject the notion that Christian nice guys are good guys. Good implies they were on the right track for being a man of God. Being nice is not Christian. It signifies that a man pedestals women (or womens’ feelings) above God. This is an idol and a very subtle sin.
The problem for men is that they first must realize that they are not good by being a nice guy. They are living in sin by being nice.
It is when they are able to admit they were in sin by being nice (the idol of women or their feelings) and repent of it that they can start to become a man of God.
The change in a man comes from within himself admitting he is flawed and asking God for help — taking off the old and putting on the new. This is the whole context of faith and becoming a new creation through God/self improvement.
Likewise, this is the same process that must occur within women.
Ultimately, this is the realization that men have to come to in order to walk down the road of being a Christian man.
It is not a bad thing to admit you are a sinner living in sin. We are all sinners. It is a good thing. It is in this humility that you can accept the grace of God and be transformed. Lest we be reminded of two important facts:
- Life is hard, and
- You are your own problem
This is why self improvement is but a half truth. You cannot fix your own problem. You need for a Savior, and a transformed heart behind subsequent actions. See Self improvement versus God improvement for more details.
This applies for both men and women.
Christianity and masculinity 
“Christian nice guys are not good” … And in a lot of cases under the church ‘niceness’ … they aren’t even all that nice either. In all fairness I am generalizing from only 5 different people; but I figure where there’s smoke, there’s probably fire.
Most Christian men who become, or let others make them into, “niceguys”, are this way because they are specifically told and trained in the Churchian Church that they should be this way because it is attractive to women. They are specifically told and trained that “niceguys” are sexually attractive.
@deti. It is sad. My husband finds them a lot like ‘mr rogers’ types. (which kind of explains why there was never a companion mrs rogers-for the show). The churches need to focus more on David and his mighty men – who were just as Godly but in a different way.
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